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Posting nude photos of your boss's niece online for fun and profit - the EASY way  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
10/22/2013 5:37 pm

Last Read:
10/30/2013 6:07 pm

Posting nude photos of your boss's niece online for fun and profit - the EASY way

Suggested listening for this post ; “Bad Girls” MIA

Suggesting cocktail for this post ; Sidecar (Cointreau)



I had this picture in my blog folder . I have no idea why .

I’ve had kind of a shitty couple of days . Last night I was heard to remark “I want a hamburger and some fries and a blowjob” and my wishes were granted . However it didn’t really make me feel better (I still liked it though) I’m not sure that’s even a real thing . Sometimes people say how something will make them feel better but it makes no sense to me . Eating a hamburger and some fries and getting my dick sucked didn’t change anything , this things that were upsetting me were still there – I was just full of delicious grease and sexually satiated . Which is great . But it didn’t make me feel any better .

I won’t get into it , you’ve all heard me complain enough about work (and everything else in the world) but let me just say that ;

A – I wasn’t even supposed to be giving that presentation and had 7 minutes notice

B – And you actually COULD NOT have farted a better presentation out of your dick Larry because you can’t fart with your dick

The other day in the interest of nostalgia I looked up on the internet the first pornographic movie I ever watched “Backdoor Lambada” and watched a bit of it . I remember as a youth being in the basement of my pal Sparerib’s house watching it and being horrified at what I was seeing . I remember Sparerib saying “I fast forward through the blowjobs because its gay to watch a guy get his dick sucked” and then later criticizing the plot “I don’t think virgins do that their first time” . Maybe they should is all I’m saying . As an adult I thought it was pretty decent for a porn made in 1990 .

Remember the lamada ? The “forbidden dance” ? The word lambada means "strong slap" or "hit" in Portuguese . I often forget they speak Portuguese in Brazil and not Spanish . I also often forget that Portuguese has two Us .

The other day while I had the radio turned down in my car to listen to the highly disturbing grinding noise coming from my rear right wheel (got new brake cylinders today) I started to think that maybe I don’t have low self-esteem like I think I do . It certainly seems like I have low self-esteem but I (sadly) have known a lot of ladyfolk with esteem issues and there’s a pretty clear difference between I and they . I don’t let people hurt me . Often when they’re regaling me with tales of how<b> boyfriends </font></b>or husbands or whatever treated them shabbily I think to myself (and then say out loud to them like a jerk) “why did you put up with that ?” and usually their answer is some variation of “I felt like I kind of deserved it” . I hate myself of course , but I never think like that . If someone’s an asshole to me I bail , I see no reason why I should take their abuse just because I’m a horrible person . Maybe that’s counterintuitive . maybe that’s just one of the (very few) very many differences between the woman and the man . Or maybe I just think I have low self-esteem and really I don’t . Which would be kind of nice .

I’ve debated writing this next part several times because it’s a level of assholerly that I’m not comfortable with , but then what is blogging for if not exposing yourself figuratively ? Oh right , exposing yourself literally . And recipes . Someone said to me “40 , your lady doesn’t even read your blog anymore (who can blame her right?) go ahead and write about it” . I lambadaed that person right in the dick because that is even more of a reason it makes me uncomfortable . I’m much happier talking about someone behind their back when its (indirectly) directly to their face . Once many years ago my woman at the time said to me “Why would you post that knowing I would read it ?” Knowing she was going to read it is what made it okay to post it to me . I’m sure that’s a psychology trait of some kind . Cowardice maybe ? No , but something like that .

Anyway the point of all this is that I’m going to say this ;

Dating a poor person is kind of a bummer

There , it’s out in the open now . If you didn’t know I was evil before you know it now . Now I consider myself poor , most people do because acquisition of the cash money is filling a cup that has no bottom , but I’m not poor poor you know . Like if I need gas in my car I buy it , I don’t need to figure anything out , I just do it . If my mouth is crunked up I go to the dentist (and see nude boobs) I don’t wish I could go to the dentist . If my car needs new brake cylinders , I buy them . Now if I needed new break cylinders every month that would be a problem but the point is I’m not one missed paycheck away from ruin . I don’t make a lot of money by any means , but I make a lot more than my gal pal does . I try not to let that get to me because why should I feel bad for being more successful than her , but it does wear at me a little bit when she chides me for say taking her out to eat without waiting for a coupon or throwing away the plastic fork we get with takeout or recycling my bottles and cans instead of turning them in for the deposit . I am happy that I am in a place in my life where I don’t need to do those things (or at least less sad) or can choose not to do them or whatever .

As I write this I realize it makes me sound like a total douchenozzle but it’s the truth . And it’s kind of awkward when she talks about how broke she is . I can’t tell is that just what you do when you’re broke or is she subtly angling for me to give her money ? If the latter would I give her money ? I don’t think I would , which makes no sense . I bought her a tablet the other day because she has no computer and what kind of stone age savage lives without internet porn (which she loves – weirdly I’ve never dated a woman who wasn’t way into porn) and if I would do that why wouldn’t I give her some cash to help with bills or whatever ? But my brain says no .

Somehow “presents” are okay but giving someone money for something they need is not . Which is dumb .

And what makes it worse is that for someone who legitimately seems to be as broke as they claim to be she doesn’t seem to spend her money very wisely . I was about to cite some examples but I think that may be crossing a really shitty line . Anyway , if someone wanted to give her 50 grand that would really make me feel better about the whole thing .

In closing , I’ve really been thinking about posting that totally 100% nude picture of myself lately because I want the ladies who keep saying they want to see it to be filled with revulsion and bile . It’s one of my least attractive traits . Gleeful spite .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


FullOn4U 58M
20399 posts
10/23/2013 1:18 am

Give her some pocket money each time she sucks your cock and your journey to douchenozzlery will be complete.

But don't let her eat hamburger and fries - fatty food isn't good for poor people


40Deuce replies on 10/24/2013 3:53 pm:
The hard part is figuring out how much a blowjob is worth on the open market since so many give them away for free

lil_whimsical 53F
8781 posts
10/23/2013 4:40 am

Money puts a huge strain on relationships. You aren't a douche for feeling that way. I've spent over two years in a relationship where everything is Dutch: He pays for himself, I pay for myself and my daughter. If there is anything special to be done, like a cruise, or the clothing to go on the cruise, I pay for all of us. NOT because he doesn't make any enough Money, but because he pisses his Money away and has nothing to show for it.

If you feel odd about the dynamic of the guy paying for the girl in the relationship (which is the ages-old paradigm), imagine the resentment of the opposite.


40Deuce replies on 10/24/2013 3:54 pm:
Imagining , don't care for it either .

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
10/26/2013 4:06 pm

Agreeing with what lil_whimsical said - it's even more awkward to have more money when you're the female in the relationship. Even if you're going dutch on everything, you don't feel like you can suggest that splurgy restaurant because even half the bill would bankrupt him, and offering to pay the whole thing would emasculate him (trust me, I did that once upon the time and he had performance issues later in the evening - yikes).

I've had a few lightbulb moments over the past few years about being an adult who hasn't lived paycheck to paycheck for a long time. Like - 'Hey, I don't have to park six blocks away from the restaurant just so I won't have to pay for parking. I can shell out $6. Who cares?' So yeah, I think it would annoy me if I were with someone who was saying that I shouldn't do that...


40Deuce replies on 10/26/2013 6:54 pm:
Really performance issues ? Men are dumb

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