Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now

This is some horror movie shit right here  

40Deuce 46M
4634 posts
7/5/2014 10:03 am

Last Read:
7/8/2014 3:31 pm

This is some horror movie shit right here

"That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth"

Jayne Cobb the hero of Canton

Only moments again I was on the treadmill blazing away (the little chart said if I was a 95 year old man I was working hard enough to burn fat ! ) when my ridiculous antiquated non-mobile phone rang . I looked over at the caller ID and it was MY OWN NUMBER !!! Apprehensively I stepped off the milling tread and answered - fully expecting to hear my own voice saying something like "If you look up at me you will see a friend . If you look down at me you will see an enemy . But if you look me square in the eye you will see a God " and then manic (also Manix) laughter . But instead it was nothing .

So I did the only thing I could do - internet search . It told me either I set up a reminder for when I get a voice mail - which I didn't , I get TONS of voicemails from hotties who want to get on my junk all the time and I never have gotten such a call before . Or that is was some type of telemarketing scam - but it was vague on what the scam was or how it works .

So I can conclude only that I was calling myself from the future - because in the future they can do that .

"But 40 , if you were calling yourself from the future why didn't future you say anything ?"

Well that's the trick , probably future 40 did tell me do something , and I did it , which changed the timeline and made it so he never needed to say anything in the first place ? So why then did I still get a call ? Tachyons .

Or maybe I'll mysteriously disappear soon .



I'm sure I've talked about this before but when I was poor (on account of my failed business) I lived with my sister for a couple years and I was always stressed out about people breaking in . I often lay awake in my bed running through scenarios about what I would do - which is funny because surely what I would really do is hide in the closet and piss myself . Anyway , once I stopped being poor and bought a house to live in I assumed I would be the same way and I bought tons of knives and hatchets and machetes to hide all over the place "just in case" .

But I wasn't at all . The first week I lived here the back door came open (I hadn't figured out that you have to shoot the deadbolt or the wind will blow it open yet) and I thought I heard footsteps in the house and I just rolled over and went back to sleep . Because I have nothing worth stealing and if they were going to murder me there's probably nothing I could do to stop it so I might as well be asleep when it happens - point is I had work in the morning and I need me sleep .

Have you ever had<b> sex outdoors </font></b>during a fireworks display ? I haven't . One of my high school friends that was his goal in life - which he achieved . As a I thought that was a really stupid goal , but now that I'm older and stupider it seems like an okay goal . The question is - do you want to be on top or have the lady on top so you can see the fireworks ?

This lady is Veronica Chaos (probably not her real name)



She has sex with a ventriloquist dummy live on the internet . That's her job . That's how she makes a living . It kind of makes me wonder what the point of life is . I realize that its kind of silly that something so "mundane" can trigger an existential crisis in my brain but that's kind of my brain's thing .

Oh , by the way they recently proved that life is meaningless ;

loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding × guilt × shame × failure × judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly

Which is kind of a bummer but is also kind of liberating in a way .

In other news I was on a conference call the other day and the dude taking role got to a lady who's last name happens to be Goaley-Pleggenkuhle and he just said "Oh shit . . . ." it was pretty funny . I LOLed out loud .

It seems like there was something else but I guess that's it . Happy Cinco de Julio everyone .


Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
7/5/2014 3:37 pm

Is this perhaps the first work story that doesn't involve utter contempt but merely some gentle humor? Perhaps.

I think it's funny that you guys take roll call on your conference calls. No one gets away with just dialing in for five minutes at the end and saying "oh yeah- I was on the line the whole time".


40Deuce replies on 7/5/2014 6:47 pm:
I think its kind of silly they take role - especially since there's often more than 200 people on these damn calls .

Once I get a new job I do plan on calling into the conference numbers at the place I work now and then occasionally just giving terrible advice just to see if anyone says "who are you ?" Or just piping in porn audio .

superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
7/6/2014 6:41 am

What if we're all already dead, with heaven and hell existing in the same place (Earth) and hell is the people that realize life has no meaning and heaven is those that remain ignorant of this? Thanks for triggering THAT cheery thought, 40!

BTW - I think the lady should be on top for fireworks sex - that way both parties can see them.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 7/6/2014 10:00 am:
Seems unlikely , even in hell they don't allow people to hump ventriloquist dummies - that's pure earth action

travellerabc123 54M
3989 posts
7/6/2014 6:50 pm

Try having sex near a sports stadium during a major event.
Let the crowd cheer on your exploits.
Nothing like it!

Embrace the suck


40Deuce replies on 7/7/2014 3:48 pm:
That does sound pretty great

Become a member to create a blog