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Now he crowns his meteoric rise to fame with a fiery burst dramatic power  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
11/26/2014 6:01 pm

Last Read:
12/1/2014 7:03 pm

Now he crowns his meteoric rise to fame with a fiery burst dramatic power

It's oddly easy to find things you want when you have preemptively decided that nothing is worth having .



A few years back I happened to be present when one of my pal's wives said to another lady "Just because you're boyfriend is an MMA fighter you think you can be cunt ?" I was thinking about that recently and what I've concluded is that regardless if that woman thought that there probably are women that think that . That if their boyfriend is a violent sociopath they can cunt out as much as they want . There's probably even a "dating" site for that since there seems to be one for everyone else .

My first "serious" (meaning I put my tongue in her asshole) girlfriend was not a cunt , but I did often worry that she was going to get my ass kicked for me - she would get in people's faces a lot . And while I'm not saying that women SHOULD get paid less than men , if you mouth off to some dude I'M the one who's going to get stomped . So , trade off ? Good thing she was usually too stoned and horny to want to go anywhere . And flat ass broke .

Speaking of MMA whatever happened to War Machine ? Did they put him in prison yet ?



One time someone told me they were making a grumpy cat movie . For real . For TV . I dickslapped that person right the mouth because they were lying to me . Turns out I need to apologize to them because they are indeed making said movie . Who is this movie for ? Who would watch it ? Old people don't know about the internet and young people don't watch movies or TV and especially not TV movies . Remember that time I said that civilization had reached its nadir ? I was wrong . I'm starting to think there is no nadir . We're nadirless .

I was reading another blog about which states have the most miserable Thanksgivings based on ;

Most cases of salmonella per capita derived from poultry in the past five years

Likelihood of relatives getting drunk and making a scene (Prevalence of binge drinking among adults per capita)

Likelihood of political arguments (States with most even split between democratic and republican voters)

Dietary restrictions impacting meal quality

Likelihood of favorite NFL team losing on Thanksgiving

Likelihood of guests/cooks abandoning meal to shop a Black Friday sale

That last one seems weird to me , and the dietary restriction thing , but the rest seem solid . Its a blog so its probably all lies but Iowa (where I live you know) was rated the #2 worst Thanksgivinging state . The comment on Iowa ;

Political differences + binge drinking combine to make an Iowa family Thanksgiving feel just like if FOX News and MSNBC accidentally booked their holiday parties for the same venues.

I've never really liked Thanksgiving so maybe its true ? Here's the rest of the top 10 ;

OHIO

Ohio won the title of The Most Miserable State to Spend Thanksgiving by an overwhelming margin. If any state will feature a simultaneous argument about Benghazi and the ethics of eating meat it will be over a plate of sugar-free pumpkin pie at an Ohio dining room table. Family divisions will only get more heated when the severely inebriated and the guests with food poisoning fight over who gets to use the bathroom first.

2. IOWA

3. PENNSYLVANIA

Only after agreeing to cook a Tofurkey alongside the actual Turkey, and once arguments over Obama’s real country of birth have died down, and after everyone has another drink, only then can Pennsylvanians give thanks that both the Steelers and Eagles have a legitimate chance to meet in the SuperBowl.

4. ARIZONA

There are only a few things you can count on during an Arizona Thanksgiving—the Arizona Cardinals losing and someone struggling to convince the others that meat-free side dishes and sugar-free desserts taste delicious.

5. WISCONSIN

After a long year of farming cranberries it’s not surprising Wisconsin likes to kick its feet up a bit on Thanksgiving. Plus, the Packers traditionally don’t play well on Thanksgiving, so it’s not surprising Packers fans choose to binge drink and black out before halftime/dinner.

6. NEBRASKA

It’s a Nebraska tradition to loosen one’s belt well before dinner to make room for a flask of bourbon just in case you know who goes and drinks all the wine.

7. ALASKA

Maybe everyone wouldn’t have food poisoning if the turkey had been cooked all the way through, but no, the cooks were too busy basting their livers in white wine and Baileys…

8. MAINE

Grandpa’s recent health troubles mean there will be no gravy this year, and absolutely no mention of Hilary Clinton running for president in 2016. Anyone who breaks this rule is not allowed to touch the box wine and will be added to Uncle Grover’s email joke list.

9. VIRGINIA

Located on the border of sweet potato pie country and pumpkin pie land, the good people of Virginia will spend a good portion of their dinners debating the merits of Obamacare for treating everybody’s diabetes.

10. MISSOURI

So Thanksgiving sucks , in a big way , but you know what holiday I like ? Diwali . My workplace has a Diwali event (because diversity , but Christmas and Hanukkah are forbidden because diversity ? ) and I went for the first time a few years ago and it was pretty cool . I think we need to steal this holiday and secularize it - as is the American way .

Diwali celebrates the victory of light over darkness , knowledge over ignorance , good over evil , and hope over despair - that's something everyone can enjoy . That's way better to me than any/all of our big four ; 4th of July ? Independence ? Who cares ? Bunch of rich assholes fighting a war or no good reason . Thanksgiving ? Too vague . People can be thankful for all kinds of things , stupid things like vaginal rejuvenation surgery . Christmas ? So Jesus was born ? So what ? Easter I'll give you , that's a god damn resurrection of the flesh and the forgiveness of ALL sins . Sins like vaginal rejuvenation surgery .

On Diwali eve you clean , renovate and decorate your homes and office . On Diwali you put on new clothes or your flossiest outfit , light lamps and candles , participate in family prayers (we can replace with an airing of grievances if we're secularizing) then fucking fireworks ! After which there is a family feast and an exchange of gifts between family members and close friends . Now that's a holiday !



Did you know that that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery ? I didn't . I'm not even married !


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smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
11/26/2014 7:41 pm

Diwali sounds fantastic, although it's too fucking cold to watch fireworks in this part of the country (although I just googled it and learned that it's in October or November, so perhaps that would be viable after all).

I'm surprised this is the first I've heard of it...seeing as I work at uber politically correct diversity place. I also wonder if that's why one of our consultants went home to India this month, hmmmm.


40Deuce replies on 11/29/2014 7:13 am:
Maybe the fireworks could warm things up regardless

wildoats19622 62M
3526 posts
11/30/2014 8:45 pm

I'm from Iowa also, and my cousin is an MMA fighter. He's about 40 which is getting up there for a fighter. I'm kind of surprised he still does it. He does prefer boxing now. There's more money in it. I usually see him at funerals. I disagree with his political views, but I don't want to cause any additional funerals.

There was an episode of "Lake Woebegone Days" where one of the family members puked all over the Thanksgiving table. Kinda killed everybodies appetite. Fiction can be like that.

They can grow vaginas in the lab now. Nonfiction can be like that.

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


40Deuce replies on 12/1/2014 7:04 pm:
Really , he can make more money boxing ? I thought boxing was mostly gone the way of powdered wigs . That's cool , I like boxing , I hate MMA

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