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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
I'd like a 100 extra small condoms please
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I'd like a 100 extra small condoms please Something mildly weird happened at the grocery store this morning but I'm not going to talk about it because several people lately have accused me to having weird stuff happen to me all the time . Which isn't true in the sense that I don't think I have more weird stuff happen to me than anyone else . I think what's happening is that A - I believe that I am slightly more observant that some and B - I catalog every damn thing that happens to me ever in this stupid blog . I bet if you wrote down everything that happened to you there'd be plenty of slightly weird stuff . There's a podcast called All Fantasy Everything which is on my list but I haven't gotten around to listening to yet . The premise is that they do a fantasy draft of whatever - such as one time I did a post about what 4 people you would want from pop culture to pull off a heist - I believe it's like that . In that vein I will now assemble my starship crew . We'll start off with helmsmen . Which is kind of an odd one because Captain Picard and Captain Sulu both started at helm but it's like the low man on the totem pole . And because a lot of the time helm is just rotating extras . Tom Paris is supposed to be the best helmsman ever but that dude was a loser . He was a total fuckwit you know ? I don't even remember who was at helm of the Defiant , I think it was Nog maybe ? So yeah , no way . There's really no choice here other than Sulu - I mean the dude figured out how to fly a helicopter . Which is like a computer programmer figuring out how to make a loom by hand . Next lets look at Ops - as in Operations . Operations is also kind of weird because usually to keep already bloated casts from getting even bigger they have the Operations Officer also be something else - like the science officer . That's not going to fly on my ship . BTW that was the largest reason for a lot of TNG's issues - the cast was too big . Or course the characters were undeveloped there were a million of them . I'm not a huge TOS fan (as you know) but they had the formula right - Kirk , Spock and Bones were the main cast and everyone else was just kind of around . Data is the obvious choice but I have other plans for him . I'll put Jadzia Dax here . Science Officer - Spock , hands down . He was the sciency-est . It's telling that they usually have the emotionless<b> freak </font></b>as the science officer . Spock - basically a bio-robot , Data - actual robot , 7 of 9 half-robot with serious tits , whatever the chick from Enterprise was named - another bio-robot . I guess it kind of makes sense you can't really have your science person be the fly by the seat of your pants rogue . Executive Officer - This one is also strange because sometimes it's own thing and sometimes it's not . Spock and T'Pol (that's the enterprise lady's name) were the science officer and the XO , but Riker and Chakotay were just the XO . I'm going to go with Saul Tigh from BSG here because as long as he was sober and not the captain he was a great XO . He's not from Star Trek , deal with it . Tactical - Data , aw shit you didn't see that coming did you ? The thing about Data is that you can plug him in anywhere and he'd be the best - you need him your ship for sure . Probably his talents are wasted on tactical but you're not going to slip anything past him - he's going to be ready to rock 247365 at 1 million percent . Try your Kirk maneuver if you wish he'll be ready . There's a tradition of having the tactical guy be like a hothead which is insane - if you're in charge in the planet-destroying laser beams you need a cool head . And no one was cooler headed than Data . Security - Tuvok , obviously . Worf was the worst , Odo has issues . I wanted Tasha to be dope but she just wasn't . Security seems like a good place for a Vulcan - again you need a steady hand . Chief Medical - This one is a little tricky . I'm halfway tempted to go with Polasky but everyone hated her so . Bones and Crusher lost like 80% of their patients . Flox was into like homeopathic bullshit or something . And I'm not going to count the EMP . Dr. Bashir was not only competent but is a genetically enhanced super-monster ala Khan himself . Event thought I hate that actor's smug face and want to punch it . Chief Engineer - Montgomery Scott . All respect to Geordi , Scotty was the man . And he somehow managed to get an STD in the future when all diseases were cured . So he got AROUND you know ? Don't even come at me with your O'Brien of Torres BS . And the big one - El Capitan . Sisko is who you'd want in wartime . Picard in peacetime . Kirk if you needed an alien to get humped . But the prime captain is clearly Janeway . She's got the perfect blend of all the various skills needed to deal with whatever comes down the pike . Is it pike or pipe ? Oh , and I forgot about the random woman on the bridge position . Sometimes it communications , sometimes counselor , sometimes who even knows . I'm going to go with T'Pol because that gives me two full blooded Vulcans and one halvsie . And Vulcans are basically superpeople - they're 10 times stronger than humans and they're fucking telepaths . Plus they have nerve pinching powers . Double oh , I forgot you need to have some random Ensign hanging around also . I choose 7 of nine and her truly impressive tits . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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It's misconception that Vulcans only bang every 7 years - the Pon Far is when they're compelled to mate for reproduction - the rest of time they're just slinging around that Vulcan puss however they want . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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9/2/2018 8:16 am |
lol What she said ..that's a key character in any show..
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Yay for Janeway! Believe it or not, I'm actually familiar with a good chunk of these characters, due to the ex usually having command of the remote control. As I recall, we used to call 7 of nine "Space Tits".   
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Since popular opinion is for some comic relief then put Quaark in as morale officer. Ditch Neelix and Guinan both. For the record, I liked Polaskey. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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