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harder, better, faster, stronger  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
10/9/2018 6:24 pm

Last Read:
10/10/2018 2:46 pm

harder, better, faster, stronger


A few back I was chatting up a lady and she was grilling me about various things that could disqualify me from the running for getting to touch her boobs and she says to me she says “How many hours a day do you play Xbox ?” and I told her I didn’t have an Xbox nor any kind of gaming console . She was flabbergasted . She was discombobulated . She was gobsmacked . After she regained her composure she goes “You must be more mature than most of the men in their 30s these days .”

And I laughed and laughed and laughed .

Needless to say there was no boob touching .

Movie ideas –

What are two of the most popular movie franchise of all time ? Weekend at Bernie’s and the Purge . Combine them and you have a sure fire hit . See what happens is friends Hercules and Jimmy accidentally kill their boss BUT thinking quickly they realize that the Purge Night is only a week away so all they need to do is make everyone think said boss is still alive until then and then make it look like they killed him on Purge Night . Not enough for you ? Well check this shit out , the night before purge night Bernie is supposed to get married ! So they not only have to puppet him through the ceremony but also through the wedding night . IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN WINK WINK

Remember in Clerks when Caitlin humps the dead guy in the bathroom ? I do . Apparently the original ending to that movie was supposed to be Dante getting murdered in a robbery . I think I would have preferred that .

Next idea , Crow update . When I was a I loved that movie , but now that older and wiser and woke as fuck I see the flaw in it – Shelly was even more victimized than Eric , why didn’t see come back as revenant to get revenge on her attackers ? Am I saying a female Crow re-boot ? NO ! I am saying they both come back together and murder everyone as the loving couple they are . I want to inject a little heart into this bleak rampage of revenge . The final scene after they murder Top Dollar will be the two of them sitting on a hill holding hands as the sun comes up to roast their zombie bones to dust . Romcoms have dominated for too long , it’s time for romror (romantic horror) to move into the market . #horrorfeminism

We’ve got a mash-up and a reboot , what else does Hollywood love to make ? Comic book movies of course . I choose the comic Black Pearl . Average dude is stalking sexy lady and prevents her from being abducted . Spurred on by media fame he adopts a vigilante persona but mostly is still stalking sexy lady . The media continues to whip up a frenzy around said vigilante . Things don’t end well . That’s not very #comicfeminism though is it ? So we to change things . The sexy lady is the one stalking the average Joe . Why ? The shocking twist will shock you ! Right in the groins .

So now what do we ? Clearly a mash-up comic book reboot . We’ll go way back to the original , Zorro , the Gay Blade and in this comic reboot mash we’ll put that together with Robocop . How ? glad you asked . Time travel mother fuckers ! Aw shit there’s time travel too . Why ? Because Zorro is a Terminator sent back to kill Ellen Murphy . You see in the 1840s Don Diego de la Vega bags so many married women that the church prays to almighty God to get rid of him because that’s not kosher and so god sends an angel to kill Zorro BUT Timecop shows up at the last second to throw him through a time-hole because without Zorro there will be no Batman and without Batman there will be no-one to stop Voldemort from taking over Sunnydale . Said timehole deposits Zorro in the grim future controlled by Skynet where he’s captured and taken to be the template for a new Terminator because of his swordplay skills – which are very important to highly advanced killing robots . But during the process Tron interferes from “cyberspace” and gives Zorro back his free will so when he shows up in the past/future instead of killing Ellen Murphy he saves her from a cyborg Tony Montana and the Lost Boys who were sent by Kaiser Soze to take her out . Zorro and Ellen make sweet , sweet love and she becomes pregnant with Luke Skywalker . Unfortunately the bitter cuckold Alex Murphy becomes the Dark Lord of the Sith they call Vader .

Jurassic Fight – People clone dinosaurs and make them battle to the death on Youtube for our amusement . But one of the dinos is gifted Mjolnir and becomes dino-Thor and leads his fellows in a rebellion against the cruelty of man . Only Godzilla can save us from an apocalypse of our own creation .

Shark Tank the Movie – A group of crazy rich people invest in an idea to create tanks filled with water that will be piloted by super intelligent sharks to fight against terrorists . And fight them they do . John Krasinski style .

John Krasinski the Movie – A man named John Krasinski played by Leiv Schriber sets out on a mission to destroy a beloved spy thriller franchise with this goof-goof face .

I had forgotten that after the terrible Ben Affleck Jack Ryan movie they also made a terrible Jack Ryan movie with Chris Pine . Also when is this John Clark movie ever going to happen ? Get on it already Jack Ryan people !

Rocket + Thor buddy comedy . Someone has stolen the Enchantresses golden locks and is planning on using them to entrance the people of earth into giving her an Academy Award – only the mismatch buddy cops of Rocket Raccoon and the Mighty Thor can save the day !

Every Has his Day – Scooby-Do , Brian Griffin , Hooch , Krypto the Super-Dog , Cujo , that from Fraser and Marly team up to stop Pussy Galore (not that one the other one , you know the one I mean) who plans on<b> cheating </font></b>at the Nürburgring by forcing a crash during the race . Her man, Ivan Dimitrov , a racer with an unsavory reputation , is sent to compete in the race. The dogs try to dispatch Dimitrov before he can crash Smith .

Travelling to the Nürburgring , the dogs oversee a meeting between SMERSH Chief , Colonel Gaspanov, Dimitrov , and a third suspicious man - a wealthy American-Korean businessman named Jason Sin . On the day of the race , the dogs narrowly manage to crash Dimitrov before he can ram Smith . They drag the badly burnt Russian from his mangled vehicle in an act of mercy . On a hunch , they investigate Sin's castle residence during a lavish post-race party . There , they discovers suspicious photographs of the space rocket , along with a mysterious girl named Jeopardy Lane . They escape together and after she steals the photographic evidence from the dogs, the spy heads to the U.S. to investigate the rocket launch site . The dogs find the local authorities uncooperative and is rescued from a SMERSH assassination attempt at his motel by Jeopardy . She turns out to be a U.S. Secret Service agent following a trail of counterfeit currency which the Russians had used to bribe the NRL supervisor . They team up and investigate Sin's construction depot in New York State . There , the dogs discovers that Sin is building a replica rocket and are taken prisoner .

Over dinner with the villain it is revealed that he is plotting to destroy the U.S. space program for the Soviets by staging a fake rocket crash in the middle of Manhattan using a subterranean bomb and the replica Vanguard . The dogs are buried alive , but manage to dig their way out and pursues Sin to his explosives-laden subway train at a Coney Island depot . They narrowly miss the departing train , but intercept it with the help of Jeopardy Lane's motorcycle skills (dogs in sidecar) . They leaps on , works their way across the vehicle's roof , disable the bomb and derails the train using makeshift grenades composed of C4 and blast caps . Meanwhile , the real malfunctioning rocket launches and is harmlessly self-destructed using its "Trigger Mortis" fail-safe switch . Knocked unconscious , the dogs awake to find Sin smacking them with a newspaper. As the Korean raises his newspaper to finish them off , the dogs whip a metal chain leash around his leg and tosses the other end onto the live electric rail - electrocuting Sin to death .

Planet of the Apes VS Predator

Superman VS Abbot and Costello

Scarlet Johansen VS Mothra

Final idea – just start having movie stars bang for real on camera and then show it

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
10/9/2018 6:27 pm

Don't act like I never told ya

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
10/9/2018 7:19 pm

I liked the Ben Affleck Jack Ryan, didn't like the Harrison Ford ones. They should have kept Alec Baldwin!

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 10/10/2018 2:47 pm:
Really ? I have to disagree with you again , the Harrison Ford ones were the best

PussyPounder135a 44M

10/9/2018 7:26 pm

I Couldn't agree more.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
10/9/2018 7:42 pm

I'm not gonna lie I skimmed most of this since I haven't seen hardly any of these movies. But solid John Krasinski joke, do I get half credit?


40Deuce replies on 10/10/2018 2:47 pm:
Of course but I retain animation rights

Couple4fun32713 45M/42F

10/9/2018 8:46 pm

I agree


partygald 41F
1963 posts
10/9/2018 9:22 pm

All through the great movie ideas, I can't stop thinking - what is wrong with having an xbox? I own one. I touch plenty of boobs (granted, I count my own, so all I have to do is reach up halfway and squeeze em from time to time).
Although, increasingly, I think I have made a mistake. The PS is clearly a better gaming machine than the xbox. SO yeah, I guess Sony won. (In my books anyway)


40Deuce replies on 10/10/2018 2:48 pm:
Gaming technology was perfected with the Commodore 64

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