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| Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming |
Gothic Girl Has Coffee
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Gothic Girl Has Coffee Gothic Girl has Coffee None of what follows is made up. It was about ten to six, I had finished work for the evening and was outside the front of my house putting some waste paper in my dustbin when - black hair, black wrap, black dress, black tights, black shoes – Gothic Girl came by. She smiled, and stopped to chat when I asked her how she was. After about ten minutes we were still chatting and something happened inside me. All the times I have let the fantasy play out in my imagination just kept flashing through my mind until over the rush of blood in my ears I heard my self saying – "Look, I don’t want to sound weird, but would you like to come in for a cup of tea rather than standing like this talking in the street?" For a moment I thought I saw a look of horror on her face, but then she smiled and said "Yes, but can I have coffee, I'm not really very keen on tea?" She sat at my kitchen table while I made coffee. I was desperately trying to stay cool, not spill the water over the cafetiere and not to apologise too much for the fact that my house looks like a boy scout's garden shed. Woodworking tools on the kitchen table, fishing rods on a rack on the hall and a sports kit-bag on the floor. I sat opposite her and poured the coffee, relaxing a bit when I took a sip, 'cos it really tasted great. She had been in the middle of telling me how, after an acrimonious split, she had recently gone back with her boyfriend, although she doesn't seem to actually like him that much, and nobody else does either. I told her I hadn't liked what little I had seen of him, but that she shouldn't take any notice because I was probably just jealous that I wasn't young enough to ask her out myself. I couldn't believe I was saying stuff like that, but she didn't seem put out by it at all, in fact she said she had always thought she would have been too young to interest me. I tired hard not to look at her gorgeous curvy figure and her soft white skin, and concentrated on her warm dark eyes instead. "No," I said, "That wouldn't actually be a problem." We talked about all kinds of things, it was like we knew each other really well, and I was amazed how long she stayed. She told me about her job and about how her mother won't let her boyfriend in the house because he had been abusive when he found out about some texts she'd exchanged with another guy. I told her about my girlfriend who I never have sex with. I said I was surprised that she'd agreed to come in for coffee and she admitted that her friends would probably disapprove, but she said, "I've always really liked talking to you, I wouldn't be here if I didn't." She said she thought it would be a shame if we were to go back to just saying hello when she passed by outside, so I asked her if we could maybe go out for a drink sometime. She said it would be difficult seeing me, as both her boyfriend and her mother would go nuts if they found out, so I said she could drop in on her way back from work whenever she liked and she laughed and said yes, it would be fun to be secret friends; she could stop by here for a drink. I was still amazed she was still there, it was about half past eight by then, but I wasn't going to turn her away, so I said she could have a drink now if I had anything she liked. Even so, I was surprised again when she said yes. She spotted a bottle of cointreau and poured herself one while I got a beer from the fridge and we went into the sitting room. Her mother phoned and she told her she'd just stopped off at her friend "Dreamer's" on the way home. I thought that hardly fitted with her not wanting her mother to know she was with me, but it turned out that she has a girl friend called "Dreamer," who lives nearby too. Clever way of not lying. (Ahhhh, a clue for those of you who have been longing to find out my real name – it can be both a boy and a girl! ) Anyway, back to the story. I can't remember all the things we talked about, but it was a lot – how her mother dealt with finding out she was sleeping with her boyfriend, how I dealt with never having sex; I mean really amazingly intimate stuff. It was almost like chatting to a close blogger friend. I was so swept up in it I even told her I wrote a blog, (I didn't say where, ) and I said she was the one piece of my real life which overlapped with it because I had written out a fantasy I had about a girl called Gothic Girl who walked past my house always dressed in black. Then I realised what I was saying and added, "Now you probably really do think that's weird." She said, "Well, maybe a bit, but I kind of like it." The more we talked, and the more I looked at her, the more I noticed how much I liked her smile, how warm her eyes were when she looked at me, and how I enjoyed the sound of her voice. By now it was ten o'clock and we had been talking for nearly four hours, three couintreaux and three bottles of beer! The trick with the interchangeable names came back to cause trouble when her mum rang again and said she would drive round to girlfriend "Dreamer's," to pick her up so she didn't have to walk home in the dark. GG panicked, made up a story about her friend's mum dropping her off in a few minutes, disconnected and told me she'd have to go. She gave me her email address so we could arrange to meet again, and I thought that was it, but at the door, she turned, and said, "well…" in an expectant, goodbye sort of way, and then put out her arms for a hug. Now I know that to her it could have been an I'm-young-we-hug-everyone kind of hug, but it didn't feel like that to me. I felt the warmth of her skin as my hand slid around her waist under her silky black wrap. She was all firm and soft and curvy, and she really pressed herself against me and held me for long enough that I could feel myself beginning to get hard. When she stood back I thought for a moment she was going to kiss me, but the moment passed, and she ran off, waving and smiling. I sat down and made sure I wasn't dreaming. The next day I wrote saying how much I'd enjoyed talking and how I hoped we'd get the chance to catch up again soon. But all I got back was, "I don’t think it’s a good idea if we talk anymore. I had a lovely time, but when I got home I felt so bad and I couldn't sleep. I just don’t think its right. I'd appreciate it if you didn’t reply." That was two weeks ago. It's funny; before, when she was a fantasy, months could go by and I wouldn't notice that I hadn't seen her. Now she is real, I miss her every day. Even though I know it was never going to lead anywhere - and couldn't have ended well even if it had - I think I fell in love with her a little bit that night. |
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That's sweet of you Sassi. Actually I am doing okay. Since I wrote this there has been an update, but I haven't had a chance to write it up yet. I don't know what is going to happen next, but the situation has improved, and I'm fine with how things are now, lol.
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you waited two weeks to tell us! dannng! sometimes youth is wasted on the young. damn it Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi  ..
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Ah well, maybe. But this one isn't completely dead yet.....
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you waited two weeks to tell us! dannng! sometimes youth is wasted on the young. damn it
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Ahhhh possibilities,....I love them and so long as they linger out there,...shimmering on the horizon with there waht-might-be-ness they are fantastic,...but eventually circumstance and time will move them out of sight or push them landward, where we are forced to act in some fashion,...and inaction is in fact an action,... you acted and you had a lovely evening with a lovely girl,... but now the possibility is gone,... nice,...and sad all at the same time  +  =  Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE! I love to travel  Come visit my blog tigger678902
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Ahhhh possibilities,....I love them and so long as they linger out there,...shimmering on the horizon with there waht-might-be-ness they are fantastic,...but eventually circumstance and time will move them out of sight or push them landward, where we are forced to act in some fashion,...and inaction is in fact an action,... you acted and you had a lovely evening with a lovely girl,... but now the possibility is gone,... nice,...and sad all at the same time + = On the other hand, experience, one of the benefits of being older, lol , told me that time might change things, and as you will see from my next post, it already has.
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Ive always wanted the girls I can't get. There's always the hope that one day - it just might happen. For me if it did, I might run away. You, I suspect, are made of stronger stuff. I shall await your next posting!
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Because I am week and feeble minded and not often able to follow through on my desires? I'm better now than I was when younger, but I've always found the fear of rejection to be real damper on even attempting to achieve what, if I'm honest, I'd like. I genuinely wish you all the best! But I wish I had realised, when I was younger, something I have tried to drum into myself ever since. If you ask nicely, in whatever way seems appropriate, and you get rejected, what is the worst that can happen? You still haven't got the girl / guy you wanted. So no change there then and why does it matter so much!!? The truth is, it doesn't matter; a little bit of embarrassment that's all. Very very few people are going to be pissed off with you about it, even if they do have to say thanks but no thanks. Only when we were kids at school did people enjoy the put down. Or maybe people who have never grown up beyond that stage. Any worthwhile person will only say "no" kindly. If they give you a put down, you've had a lucky escape! I know, because I remember feeling it, that the more you want someone the more you fear their rejection. I remember it with the Lioness. It took me six months to admit to myself that I was in love with her, and another six months to do anything about it, and yet we worked together and I saw her every day. I simply could not believe it when I found she was in love with me to. My tentative approach to her happened only because I simply couldn't resist it any longer, not out of any strength of character I assure you. I have to tell you, even last week, I felt like a complete idiot school boy when I asked Gothic Girl if she wanted to come in. But BUGGER ME! She said yes!
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