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Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming

This site creates chemistry  

hotdreamer1000 64M
8675 posts
2/5/2013 6:55 am

Last Read:
12/20/2021 10:29 am
This site creates chemistry

I read somewhere recently that there are four key drivers that keep a woman's libido at a high level:

Distance, Danger, Novelty and Mystery.

Of course, as has been observed before, there are aspects of my personality that have lead people to suggest that emotionally, I think like a woman. I thought about this, and although none of these things are what I think I am looking for, (assuming I am looking at all, ) a combination of them definitely gets me excited. Maybe it works for most people actually.

I guess you don't need them all operating at once, but mix one or two of them together and you get a chemical reaction, one that definitely creates heat.

Is it any coincidence that inevitably, any interaction we have with each other on this site is going to contain some or all of these factors?

zandigal 59F
13016 posts
2/5/2013 7:19 am

 For me... mystery is my fave.. distance is relative.. danger, never thought about that before. Novelty? hhhmmmm.....

aren't these factors in any relationship/interaction here or there? (at least in my life) lol
Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit
~Rumi

..


Violette001 51F
4619 posts
2/5/2013 11:31 am

 Distance... i hate distance...
"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/5/2013 12:05 pm
    Quoting zandigal:
    For me... mystery is my fave.. distance is relative.. danger, never thought about that before. Novelty? hhhmmmm.....

    aren't these factors in any relationship/interaction here or there? (at least in my life) lol
Ahh Zandigal, always mysterious, potentially dangerous, always coming up with something new, and yet so far away.....


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/5/2013 12:05 pm
    Quoting  :
I've heard that you use that word often, lol.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/5/2013 12:08 pm

 It can be a pain I agree, but it does tend to create a sense of anticipation, and - I think it has sometimes been a factor in me allowing myself to get involved.


tigger678902 57F  
4545 posts
2/5/2013 4:49 pm

 novelty no,..distance unfortunately probably yes, novelty definitely, mystery yup, can't resist a puzzle
Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE!
I love to travel

Come visit my blog tigger678902


VioletDeliriums 56T  
3527 posts
2/5/2013 8:04 pm

 Distance...Hmmm...I don't get that one...It just frustrates me.

The rest...I think when people describe others using these adjectives, it tells us more about the person who's doing the describing than the one being described...

By calling something "dangerous", it reveals the limits of of the describer's comfort zone...

By calling something "novel," it suggest the limits of what they normally do or have bothered to do...

And mystery? When someone says something is "mysterious", it indicates the limits of that person's imagination.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/6/2013 4:03 am
    Quoting tigger678902:
    novelty no,..distance unfortunately probably yes, novelty definitely, mystery yup, can't resist a puzzle
So where you say "novelty no" and "novelty definitely" which one was meant to be danger? Don't worry, I can guess. The thing is though, none of us think we are excited by the danger in a relationship, but when it is there, provided it does not exceed the limits we think we can cope with, it does add something.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/6/2013 4:13 am
    Quoting VioletDeliriums:
    Distance...Hmmm...I don't get that one...It just frustrates me.

    The rest...I think when people describe others using these adjectives, it tells us more about the person who's doing the describing than the one being described...

    By calling something "dangerous", it reveals the limits of of the describer's comfort zone...

    By calling something "novel," it suggest the limits of what they normally do or have bothered to do...

    And mystery? When someone says something is "mysterious", it indicates the limits of that person's imagination.
Hmmmm, interesting thoughts. I know what you mean about distance - it is frustrating, but somehow it concentrates the mind too.

I agree about danger representing comfort zone limits up to a point, but not entirely - some people are comfortable with certain dangers and not others - just being comfortable with something doesn't stop it being dangerous. For me, whether it is about sex or anything else, the criteria is whether I consider it to be worth the risk. I don't like danger for it's own sake, and I am extremely risk averse if what I am doing doesn't mean much to me. But for something I spend my life on, and love doing, taking sensible risks is absolutely fine and I am very comfortable with the associated dangers.

Novel surely just means "new" and there is no limit to new, whether you are normally adventurous or or experienced or not.

I don't think finding something a mystery shows a limit to the imagination at all. For example, Zandigal remains mysterious - I know her, and yet I don't. But I can certainly imagine lots of things about her, lol.


TheRedheadinHeat 61F
9294 posts
2/6/2013 5:57 am

 I am not a fan of any of them. Would you expect less than that from me? lol

As for your idea that "novel" means "new", in my world a "novelty" is a cheap trinket meant to be tossed away at some point.

I prefer to be intrigued by romance and excitement.
If I have stopped by your blog, please be sure to sign my permission slip Pimp Me, Pimp My Blog, But Let Me Do The Same With You


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/6/2013 10:43 am
    Quoting PeterWasted:
    I think I'd keep well away from any relationship involving novelty danger...
Lol.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/6/2013 10:55 am
    Quoting TheRedheadinHeat:
    I am not a fan of any of them. Would you expect less than that from me? lol

    As for your idea that "novel" means "new", in my world a "novelty" is a cheap trinket meant to be tossed away at some point.

    I prefer to be intrigued by romance and excitement.
I didn't say you had to like them red, only that I had read they are factors in keeping a woman interested, lol.

And I agree, the word novelty has short term connotations, but I read the word in its usage as a qualitative noun, rather than simply as a thing.

It seems some people do find that distance, danger, newness and mystery create romance and excitement, but of course I would expect you to remain unaffected by such shallow factors, lol.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/6/2013 3:04 pm
    Quoting  :
No apologies needed - you have a lot of comments to answer on your own blog! But it's good to see you here.

Anyway, when I wrote this it occurred to me that this post probably wouldn't make sense to you. The more I think about it the more I think it's a load of rubbish anyway! But even for those in happy relationships, whose libidos are already at a constant high level, maybe a bit of mystery, a tiny touch of danger and some creative novelty can't do any harm. But probably distance isn't needed!


tigger678902 57F  
4545 posts
2/6/2013 6:41 pm
    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    So where you say "novelty no" and "novelty definitely" which one was meant to be danger? Don't worry, I can guess. The thing is though, none of us think we are excited by the danger in a relationship, but when it is there, provided it does not exceed the limits we think we can cope with, it does add something.
of course you could figure it out you are very clever. Danger also has different flavours.
Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE!
I love to travel

Come visit my blog tigger678902


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/7/2013 1:29 pm
    Quoting tigger678902:
    of course you could figure it out you are very clever. Danger also has different flavours.
Yes I agree, and as I said to Violet with danger it depends on what you are taking the risks for, as well as what the risk is.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/7/2013 1:32 pm
    Quoting  :
Yeah, it's a load of rubbish really, but discussing it passed the time for while, lol. And I think they only meant temporary distance, but I agree, I don't like it either. Although as I said, sometimes it lets me tread closer to a line than would be safe if someone was just around the corner!


Violette001 51F
4619 posts
2/9/2013 4:28 pm
    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    It can be a pain I agree, but it does tend to create a sense of anticipation, and - I think it has sometimes been a factor in me allowing myself to get involved.
I wonder if it's because there's less intensity and more honesty at the beginning of a long distance relationship that makes it more real? at least, i feel that to be true for myself. Since I dont' think i'll ever meet the person, i have no desire to make attempts to make myself interesting. I can just be myself. And in the end, that's truly what is more interesting than trying to get someone's attention. But then, you end up wanting to meet your new friend and you can't and the frustration is unbearable.
"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/12/2013 7:10 am
    Quoting Violette001:
    I wonder if it's because there's less intensity and more honesty at the beginning of a long distance relationship that makes it more real? at least, i feel that to be true for myself. Since I dont' think i'll ever meet the person, i have no desire to make attempts to make myself interesting. I can just be myself. And in the end, that's truly what is more interesting than trying to get someone's attention. But then, you end up wanting to meet your new friend and you can't and the frustration is unbearable.
That is spot on Violette. In fact once or twice in my case it has managed to create more intensity as well, at least after a while if not at first. But yes, although some people using this site seem to want to create a false "enhanced" impression of themselves, for others it is a mechanism for honestly showing aspects of themselves they normally keep at least partially hidden, and when you come across someone who really understands that part of you it can be an intense thrill.


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