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Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming

Sonnet: It is not us.  

hotdreamer1000 64M
8675 posts
12/9/2006 4:20 am

Last Read:
4/5/2011 3:23 am
Sonnet: It is not us.

When I was studying English at school I put quite a lot of time into Shakespeare's sonnets and always wanted to write one.

I wrote quite a lot of utter crap ones but in about 1992 i wrote most of this one, then left it unnatended for fifteen years! I have just finished it off and am quite pleased with the result so I thought I'd like to share.

Technically a shakespearian sonnet should have fourteen lines with the last two rhyming, but this is a simpler form of only twelve.

IT IS NOT US

Though I mourn, I ask of you no grief:
Let the departed rest, wake not their sleep.
Our love has had its time to savour life
But now must pass, its place in Heaven to keep.
Give me no more the thrill of mortal lips,
Give up no prayers our love's lost soul to save.
Place no more upon my heart your kiss
Send out no flowers to grace our passion's grave.
Weep not your tears for me that I am gone
Nor ponder in your heart on past desires.
Fix now your thoughts on life, not what is lost:
It is our love that's died, it is not US.

MyEnglishF 57F

12/9/2006 9:04 am

 15 years...?
Man... talk about "I'll finish it later..."
Yet I know what it is like to be in the mood to finish something.
It is beautiful, of course and you should be proud of it.
Though I hope the reason for you to be in the mood to finish it was not just because you felt so.
Take care, Dreamer.


Allsleeky 43F
Ask me for a photo

12/9/2006 11:57 am

 I agree with MyEnglishF you should be proud of your 'delayed" work, It's very beautiful and deep!


redrose19782 45F
Ask me for a photo

12/9/2006 1:51 pm

 Oh my! That was marvelous! That is what I like about your blog...never know what I will get a dose of when I visit!


Damn_Decorum 56F

12/9/2006 4:05 pm

 Beautiful You ready


MyEnglishF 57F

12/9/2006 9:37 pm
NOT again.
Just tell me where have you not been...? I'll go elf them...


rm_cum2kissu2 59F
10784 posts
12/9/2006 10:38 pm

 speachless

Kissu


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/10/2006 5:40 am
    Quoting  :
~K, I'll mail you re "the chat" when I've got a minute, meanwhile thanks for your appreciation and support, I had a feeling you'd get where I was coming from with this one.

There is a darker, heavier version, sort of as seen from the other person's point of view, which also got left unfinished at the same time. I hope to have it finished to share with you soon, the time is right for putting this stuff to bed now.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/10/2006 5:44 am
    Quoting MyEnglishF:
    15 years...?
    Man... talk about "I'll finish it later..."
    Yet I know what it is like to be in the mood to finish something.
    It is beautiful, of course and you should be proud of it.
    Though I hope the reason for you to be in the mood to finish it was not just because you felt so.
    Take care, Dreamer.
MyEnglish......fortune teller, I don't know. It may be I am thinking in that direction. We'll see.....


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/10/2006 5:50 am
    Quoting Allsleeky:
    I agree with MyEnglishF you should be proud of your 'delayed" work, It's very beautiful and deep!
Sleeky, I guess I am proud, though I hope to keep improving, and not leave it another fifteen years before I write more!

I am also proud to have you commenting on my blog! Come back and visit again soon I hope.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/10/2006 5:52 am
    Quoting redrose19782:
    Oh my! That was marvelous! That is what I like about your blog...never know what I will get a dose of when I visit!
Thanks Rose, you know it spus me on to try and think up good things to post knowing you are going to be reading. I really do appreciate your comments.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/10/2006 5:54 am

 I'm so sorry DD, you've lost me again, ready for what? Thanks for coming, but please could you use more words next time!


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/10/2006 5:55 am

 Speachless is good, right?! LOL


rm__Safira 61F
11258 posts
12/10/2006 7:07 am

 HOTDREAMER ~ THAT is marvelous, and perfectly needed at this time. *warm hugs* /
This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/11/2006 3:45 am
    Quoting rm__Safira:
    HOTDREAMER ~ THAT is marvelous, and perfectly needed at this time. *warm hugs* /
Thank you Safira, I'm glad you came by and found something you needed. I wrote it because I needed it, so if you got something from it as well that's a happy bonus. Thanks.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/12/2006 9:26 am
    Quoting  :
That feels like a big compliment, thank you. And keep watching, another 15 year old relic is on the writing table being given its final lines right now. Will post in a few days I hope.


zandigal 59F
13016 posts
12/12/2007 11:13 am

 beautiful
Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit
~Rumi

..


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
12/12/2007 11:22 am

 Thanks Z


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