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Blogs > DaBeaches > Thoughts and ponderings

Married and playing without your spouse  

DaBeaches 62M/60F  
115 posts
6/28/2016 7:46 pm

Last Read:
7/20/2017 2:32 pm
Married and playing without your spouse

I recently was talking with a guy through emails here on the site. What had me wondering was as always. one of my first questions is always are you married, and if so does your wife know.
This guy assured me that yes, he was married, (cool) did she know (yes)
So his question to me was something like he got propositioned by an obvious .. he didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered.. So he asked me.. what do you think..
Well, I had no idea that my response would be viewed as being judgemental. Maybe someone that is married and playing without your spouse, and your spouse knows could enlighten me on this one.
I figure that if the wife knows.. then why couldn't you ask them what they thought about that. Am I wrong?
My response was.... What did the wife say? should I have said it another way? what I got back was that I was being judgemental and he thought I was different than everyone else.. blah blah blah.. he then proceeded to block me before I could reply and explain my answer.
First of all, I know not everyone has a good relationship.. I run everything by the hubby. he is my best friend.. sorry for me thinking that your spouse should be your best friend.

I would have asked my hubby what he thought before I asked anyone else.
I guess he did me a favor, anyone that is offended that easily is not someone that I think I want to spend anytime with.

Hence, why we are leery of doing anything with someone that is married, and not playing with their spouse.
So, if anyone would like to enlighten me as to how I offended him. when it was pretty innocent.. that would be great.

Needaltlsomthn2 58F
709 posts
6/28/2016 7:59 pm

 I don't think you "offended" him, I think you "cornered" him. Clearly his wife doesn't know and he is a stupid crappy liar that didn't plan out his story and responses.
If you don't stand for something , you will fall for anything !


BrownEyedBBW 55F  
8831 posts
6/28/2016 9:18 pm

 I can think of two possibilities. The first is that he and his wife had a "don't ask, don't tell" situation. He has a hall pass, but she doesn't want to hear, see, smell, or otherwise know that he's sexing up other women. The other, less savory possibility is that he lied and he sneaking around behind his wife's back.

While the former is highly plausible, cynic that I am, I suspect it's the latter.


DaBeaches 62M/60F  
42 posts
8/2/2016 8:52 pm

 Thank you for your reply's. My thought was he probably didn't have the permission that he said he did.
I was really just floored that he got so offended when I really wasn't even trying to judge him or questioning his comment. Your right, good thing I asked, it weeded him out of the pool I guess.


BlueyezMT 59M  
Ask me for a photo
1 post
7/19/2017 2:30 am

 Yes, that response argues that he didn't REALLY have permission and full knowledge of the wife. Also seems a bit immature...blocking you!?? Your question was quite logical given the discussion and the answers he had given before.


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