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Sexual Boundaries
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Sexual Boundaries An interesting & very apt topic which has huge ramifications on our relationships, but do we really pay it the full attention it ultimately deserves? What's OK? & what is too far? Why do we feel the need to push it? Do we communicate & discuss this with our partners or just hope to find someone who is thinking along much the same lines at the time? Are people bored with what is known as "Vanilla Sex" because it's become no longer the HOT thing that was once Magic? or because the love that made it magic is no longer there? One person's "Gross" may be your "OH YES!" What freaks you out in bed might be just a typical saturday evening at your neighbours house. Something deeply romantic to your friend could make you roll your eyes. Everyone's line in the sand is different, but a lot of us have a mental note filed away about a deed we'd never do: an act too embarrassing, degrading, uncomfortable or perhaps even Taboo! Although pushing sexual boundaries can sometimes create excitement that fuels other aspects of your life - it may also lead to regrets or cause you to lose the one you loved - or loved you or both! Even with couples where the love is overwhelming I still think its important to explore & experiment together - mix it up at least. Different positions, places, sometimes public, role play, blindfolds, light restraints etc - all good! Toys just make sense - & men shouldn't be intimidated by them. If you happen to cum too quickly you can, of course, lick her pussy until you are ready again but not always & that could be a great time to have fun with your girl & join in pleasing her with toys until you are ready to go again. Threesomes are something that for many on this site is just like a hot dinner but I think for most it is much more complicated - especially if love and/or friendship is involved. One person will always have a better time than the other two - thats an imbalance straight up & could slip by but just as easily could cause conflict or at least an uncomfortable tension & loss of trust. Anal sex! Wow! big issue! What if you found your ultimate & perfect partner in every way - except - that one of you so totally loved anal sex & the other couldnt stand the thought of it? Of course with true love you would respect the others wishes but once again - communication. Do people always take the time to find out these important issues - or just dive in & roll along, blinded by infatuation? or the lonely need to be desired & be with someone? When there is no love involved then of course sex has to be at least an athletic event of endurance, but there are plenty of pills & powders that can make most any man pound away incessantly & appear to be a superman. Hmmm... - lots to think about here. I would be interested to hear other peoples thoughts on this but I still think communication between a couple or potential couple is essential but oft overlooked!!! |
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7/28/2009 12:16 pm |
Neill, your topic is multi faceted dear and leave much to ponder. One term that is used a lot to describe a sexual relationship that lacks what other find more exciting is "Vanilla sex ". I rather dislike that term. It seems to me it is used to discribe something that is boring to others when I find nothing wrong with sex that is comfortable to a man and woman. If it lacks, anal sex, swinging, fetishes, just bring in another individual into your bedroom then I guess I am Vanilla. I tend to put all my sexual energy into "my man". The issue of communication is paramount to me. I would never enter a relationship that I wasn't 100 percent sure that we were on the same ticket. I love role playing, some light, very light bondage, a little exhibitionism, erotic photography and always communication. I remember one night, in a doggy position I ask my ex to spank me and he said " I don't want to hurt you" and I said I wouldn't ask you to if I thought you would. That is a matter of trust. Even though he and I are split and divorcing..he didn't leave me for another woman. It was a financial problem he could solve and he couldn't face me anymore because of what he done. But the sexual part of our relationship was extrordinary. We didn't swing or engage in anything that so many fine necessary to keep the flame lit. In the seven years we were together our need for each other never faded. I never looked at another man the entire marriage and I am very confident that his eyes never wondered either. We did communicate fervently. We didn't argue. I never remember being angry with him even though I knew the financial situation was probably going to ruin me. But I was the one that gave him the cards in trust. He just didn't have good business skills and I should have stepped in and helped him but I wanted to trust him and give him his head. I am twenty years his senior and I told him absolutely everything about myself prior to meeting him and he did the same with me. Sexually we were on the same ticket and he never failed to rock my socks and I was convinced that I did the same for him. I trusted him and believed that we would be together until death due us part. He broke that vow and bruised my trust but I will not enter a new relationship any other way. The ground work must be done. He robbed me of my money but he couldn't rob me of my ability to love and trust another man. I am open minded and non judgemental in respect to what other's choose for their sexual venue......unless they push me about it. I have had a situation like that on this site. Someone inferring that I am not as sexual because I find a certain sexual venue unacceptable for myself. I have also had people on this site tell me that I should post on other sites if I am looking for love. I tell them that there are 32M subscribers on AdultFriendFinder and there aren't 32M swingers on this planet. I find all kind of men here that are looking for love and a lasting relationship and/or marriage. If I am a woman that enjoys Vanilla sex......so be it.....maybe a little cinamon throw in for spice. So that is my communication with you Neill.....regarding your topic of communication. Oh BTW, how about a little imagination thrown in. You and I know about imagination don't we sugar???? A kiss across the beautiful Pacific to you darling. Judy
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7/28/2009 3:13 pm |
Neill, I posted that picture because it was the closest one I had that looked like your's darlin.
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