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rm_puddinghead4 62M
1129 posts
6/2/2010 7:34 pm
No more

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY
By Alice Cooper and Michael Bruce

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Till they got hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I've got no friends 'coz they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' real shot down
And I'm feelin' mean

No more Mr. Nice Guy
No more Mr. Clean
No more Mr. Nice Guy
They say "He's sick, he's obscene"

I've got no friends 'coz they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm feelin' real shot down
And I'm gettin' mean

No more Mr. Nice Guy
No more Mr. Clean
No more Mr. Nice Guy
They say "He's sick, he's obscene"

My bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
Mum's been thrown out of the social circles
And Dad has to hide
I went to church incognito
And when everybody rose
The Reverend Smithy recognized me
And punched me in the nose

No more Mr. Nice Guy
No more Mr. Clean
No more Mr. Nice Guy
He said "You're sick, you're obscene"




Yeah! Back when Alice Cooper was a band, and not just Mr. Big Shnoz solo. Back when they had some edge about their product. Back when they were innovators. You know, their Billion Dollar Babies tour was absolutely massive at the time and was the biggest money producing tour ever. If you take inflation into account, I wouldn't be surprised if it still ranked up there today. They were that big.

Anyway, I've had a totally crap week or so and quite frankly I'm pissed off. I'm sick of shovelling shit, and it's time to call a spade a spade. So the next time I hear someone call a shovel a spade, or a spade a shovel, I'm gonna bury them. I mean is it really that difficult for fucks sake. GET IT FUCKING RIGHT!

Well cars shit me. I've never liked working on cars. There always seems to be a couple of bolts that are just that bit too tight, and when you give them that extra bit they suddenly let go and your hand inevitably goes smack into a nice hard or sharp lump of metal. Didn't want the skin from those knuckles anyway was usually my thought process from previous experience. This time I had to change the cv joints on my car, well front axles really as that's how they sell them. My friends told me that they should take about 2 hours each side. Well if you want to know how to turn a 4 hour job into a 2 1/2 day drama, then I'll tell you. First problem, couldn't get the<b> suspension </font></b>off, pulling up on the mudguard while using my foot to push down on the<b> suspension </font></b>unit seemed to be working until my foot slipped off and my calf was involved in a little abraising and skin removal. At this time I did consider applying some sledgehammer manipulation to the bonnet, roof and doors, but after 5 minutes I considered that perhaps this might be a rather expensive option. Next problem a difficult to access bolt, which I did get loose by giving a bit extra resulting in a slight twist to my back, which took 2 days before I forgot about it. Then I had to get out a pin. Easy you would think, except that I could not get access to it. After 4 hours of making a tool that could get access to the pin and removing the pin, it suddenly dawned on me that if I had have taken it out of gear, I could have manually turned the shaft into a position where I could have knocked the pin out in 30 seconds. Anyway I got the job done in over 2 days (much of which was actually spent sitting drinking coffee pondering moot points) and it feels so much smoother with no metal clunking noises when I drive. The sad thing is that if I had to change them again tomorrow, it would only take me 3 or 4 hours. As I said I fucking hate working on cars.

I bought a pair of Blunstone boots for around $80. I used to wear them a lot in my late teens and early 20's. And I used to like them. Well not any more. After wearing them for a couple of months, one soul cracked and the other has a great fucking tear in it from where I stood on an old piece of corrugated iron. So I've now concluded that Blunstone boots are weak as piss and a total waste of money. As they're still relatively new I've been wearing them anyway and getting wet feet as soon as I go outside. Big mistake as now I have a rose thorn or some type of splinter in the ball of my right foot below the big toe, which I tried to get out but can't and which has now swollen into a red lump and is making me walk with a bit of a limp. Also I now find that I have holes in about 15 pairs of socks. Time to get the Olivers out. They can jam their Blunstones up their arse sideways.

I've been doing a lot of concreting lately. I've broken up a lot of concrete which was not in the position that I wanted it and to save money on screenings I've been sitting down for days on end smashing the lumps of concrete into small pieces with a hammer so I can reuse it instead of screenings in new concrete. Now I find that my elbows are sore. And they fucking ache. And who's the fuckwit that decided that cement should come in 20kg bags. They used to be 40kg bags. Now there's twice as much lifting involved. 20kg bags are too fucking small. You mix a couple of barrow loads of concrete and you have to open another bag of cement. You end up with empty bags all over the fucking place. What the fucks going on? Has the world gone completely fucking nuts?

Well that's just a couple of things that are pissing me off this week. As I've said I've had a bad week or so and I have to take it out on somebody. I can't take it out on the wife 'coz she'll just yell at me. I won't take it out on the 'coz I just won't. My friends live too far away, so that just leaves you people, you arsewipe sons of bitches. Yeah! That's right, you heard correctly you sadsack rejects from Loserville. You pathetic puerile pigdogs from Hell. You morbidly morose and moronic sub monkey like excuses for humans. You can all get well and truly fucked.

By the way, I was reading a blog by an American woman who said that a bit of nasty namecalling turned her on, so ladies if the above paragraph got you all hot and wet, then let me know as I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from. And you never know, perhaps I could teach you how to get fucked properly.




marysia4u 68F
15417 posts
6/3/2010 10:31 pm

Now do you feel better after that?
Think it's time for you to get a job, much safer than working around the home/car.
Shame your friends live so far away. A good night on the town helps you forget your woes, that is till next morning, as you reach for the packet of Panadol. Still worth it tho. Lol


rm_puddinghead4 62M
3132 posts
6/5/2010 8:35 am

    Quoting  :

Thanks for the hug. Actually I'm over the grumps now, although I still have a splinter in my foot.
When your ex mother in law next has a birthday, have you considered farting in a bottle and labelling it with something like 'Heaven Scent' and giving her that?


rm_puddinghead4 62M
3132 posts
6/5/2010 8:39 am

    Quoting marysia4u:
    Now do you feel better after that?
    Think it's time for you to get a job, much safer than working around the home/car.
    Shame your friends live so far away. A good night on the town helps you forget your woes, that is till next morning, as you reach for the packet of Panadol. Still worth it tho. Lol


Yeah! I did feel a bit better after that. Don't like the sound of 'get a job' though, it's far too early for that. Also it's not a bad thing that my friends live too far away, 'coz they're pretty boring these days anyway.


rm_puddinghead4 62M
3132 posts
6/5/2010 8:54 am

    Quoting  :

Hahaha! I don't know if the soul went to Heaven or not, I guess it depends on whether God lives in my rubbish bin. I didn't see St. Peter on the lid so I'm thinking not.
About your preserves, well that is a hard decision as they all sound 'delish'. I'm thinking grape jam (cannot recall ever eating grape jam), but then I do have an affinity with pineapples. And I like pickles. What are they? Tomatoes? Zucchinis?, Onions? Or a bit of a mix? My Mum used to make great tomato pickles and fantastic thinly sliced sweet zucchini pickles. It is a pity we didn't know each other in real life, you could give me a jar of your jam and I could reciprocate by giving you a steaming hot wad of my jam.


rm_puddinghead4 62M
3132 posts
6/5/2010 9:00 am

    Quoting  :

Thanks for all the hugs Charmz. You're right, it would have worked out easier to pay someone else to do it, but unfortunately I wasn't brought into this world with much common sense or logic. Besides, now I know how to do it, and it really wasn't that hard.


rm_puddinghead4 62M
3132 posts
6/5/2010 9:17 am

    Quoting  :

Yeah! I'm over it. And the female blogger in question got turned off when I told her I was into nasal sex and the best part was when I blew.


rm_puddinghead4 62M
3132 posts
6/5/2010 9:21 am

    Quoting  :

Bitch!
Errr...I didn't really mean that. Oh! Who am I kidding? Yes I did. Err...No I didn't. Yes I did. No I didn't. Yes I did. No I didn't. Geez! I'm just so confused.


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