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What will you settle for?
What will you settle for? Someone I know used to tell me that everyone settles for something, that everything is a trade off. Everything comes with a price and everyone will always wonder about the path not taken. There are choices in front of us and the one we take is what we settle for because no one gets everything that they want in life or out of a relationship. People are imperfect and no one person is ever going to fit another's idea of "perfect" completely. Not that you should just jump into anything and hope that it's enough, but I got to thinking about all of the times I've settled, and where it all went wrong. Not wanting to make the same mistakes I've been thinking what it is that I should be looking for so that I might be able to settle into something that would be healthy not only for me, but for the one that decides that settling for me would be a good idea too. I think I have a pretty good list in my head of what I'd be willing to "settle for" but then again I look at me and think that someone would have to "settle for" an awful lot with me too. Not because I'm some psycho stalker bitch or anything like that, but the fact that I have and responsibility for them, a hard to deal with ex, a location that I'm not willing to change until my are old enough to be on their own, and occasional depression to name just a few of my issues. I know that we can't help what is in our hearts, and we fall in love with whom ever it strikes our souls to do so with, but there are some things that people can compromise on, and some we can't. I think some people are looking for that mythical unicorn of a person that is exactly what they're looking for, and so end up disappointed and alone because no one was good enough for them. And others settle for the first person to take an interest in them because they're terrified of being alone. There are the people that stay in a bad relationship because they feel that they must, and the ones that quit at the first sign of any conflict. I'm not perfect, and I certainly don't expect perfection. Sometimes the person I love is not because I see them as perfect, but because I see their imperfections and it endears me to them. It's not that I love them despite their flaws, it's because I love them as a whole person, and accept them the way that they are. Would I like them to change the things that they hurt themselves with? Of course, but do I require or expect it? No. The people I love, I want them to be happy and to grow because they want and need to, not because of my wishes or desires. There are at least a million ways in which people can differ and ways in which they can or can not meet up to our expectations and or desires. Habits, personality traits, character flaws, values, materialistic and superficial things to name a few. Now I'm wondering, how have you settled in the past, and what are you willing to settle for in the future? |
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8/28/2009 12:04 pm |
Well spoken. and I have to agree. I know all the little flaws and imperfections of the people around me, and I accept them. Sarcasm is just one of the services I offer.
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*Disclaimer* I use the word "settle" as just a word. Perhaps not the perfect word, but somewhat accurate to a degree and the first word that I could think of that sort of conveyed what I mean.
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perfections and imperfections well we all have them, sometimes it's human nature to strive for more,but when we find that one person, we will never have 100 percent perfection. what i would settle for is not much, just a bit of happiness and a smile on the faces of my friends wherever they are. Truth,kindness and respect is what i give,and thats all i ask in return How to treat the ladies There39s a right way and a wrong way
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8/28/2009 8:28 pm |
Excellent post, will leave real comment when not so tired. Sentences.....just....not...coming....togethzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzz
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An excellent and thought provoking post! I myself have it on good authority that I am to never, ever settle. Of course this may have something to do with the why I am single.
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Thank you for your well thought out and in depth comment. I guess compromising and settling are similar words with semi different meanings. Euphemisms aside the criteria I NEED to have met can not change, but what I WANT I can settle or compromise on. For example, who isn't looking for someone that is their idea of "perfect"? But say this person is extremely close, but he has something going on that wasn't on your list, for example you don't smoke but he does or vice versa. It seems a small point to me, but not to everyone. So some would settle for that, while others would not. That's all I meant.
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I'm all for communication, compromise, and exhausting all options befoe quitting a relationship. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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I am so happy for you! I agree, looking beneath the surface of someone is essential, and when you match up there, the little stuff doesn't even matter.
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Well spoken. and I have to agree. I know all the little flaws and imperfections of the people around me, and I accept them.
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perfections and imperfections well we all have them, sometimes it's human nature to strive for more,but when we find that one person, we will never have 100 percent perfection. what i would settle for is not much, just a bit of happiness and a smile on the faces of my friends wherever they are.
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Dimples you are an amazing wonderful loving woman. Focusing on the positive is something I strive to do every day, and I also do not give up on something I believe in no matter what. We should all be so lucky to have someone in our lives as dedicated as you are.
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Excellent post, will leave real comment when not so tired. Sentences.....just....not...coming....togethzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzz
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Yep, mistakes, we've all made a few. The trick is to make new ones instead of the same ones.
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9/1/2009 6:32 pm |
Well spoken. and I have to agree. I know all the little flaws and imperfections of the people around me, and I accept them. Sarcasm is just one of the services I offer.
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