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Blogs > peekabooicu2ucme > Musings and mayhem of my mind |
Issues, issues, we all has 'em
Issues, issues, we all has 'em Ever had someone say something that just messed with your mind to no end even though you KNOW that it shouldn't? Rotten Bastard called me up the yesterday to bitch about Pater Familias. PF had gotten angry with Drama Queen for not doing what she was supposed to be doing and let a bad word slip. Drama Queen got interrogated by Rotten Bastard and told him. EH, whatever. I've always told the midgets that there is no reason to keep secrets. So RB gets on the horn with me the telling me how inappropriate PF's language was as well as accusing him of hitting the midgets and wanting to know what I was going to do about it. (Mind you, this is a man who has threatened to break his 's bones if they misbehaved again, called them and myself every name imaginable, thrown massive temper tantrums that have caused me to call the police on him and prompted me to arrange supervised visitation for him when it was needed among other atrocities.) I patiently explain that it obviously wasn't a cool moment and that we'd already discussed it out of earshot of the midgets as I would never call an adult out on bad behavior in front of anyone. I also explained that a tap such as that you'd give on someones arm to get their attention when ignoring your voice isn't "hitting". Anywho, who hasn't lost it a time or two and said something they regretted? That's pretty much what I imparted upon RB and he goes on about what I would do if it continued. I asked him what I did to him because of his behavior. Clearly I wouldn't allow bad things or bad people around the midgets. He tells me he doesn't do those things anymore. I let him in on the fact that his monthly or so visit for a few hours doesn't really stress him to the point of getting angry at anything and that he should cut a little slack for the man helping to raise HIS because he sure isn't. It got ugly from there. He starts in on how I'll never keep a man because as soon as the novelty wears off he'll realize what a bitch I am and fuck around on me like he did. I know it shouldn't bother me, I know I should just see it for what it was, a stab to hurt, not reality, but it did hurt. I don't doubt Pater Familias' love for a second. He truly is my best friend and had been for awhile before we became anything else. We've been living together for 7 months now and I can honestly say that I've never loved anyone more than I love him. He's just a great person. A person with flaws just like anyone else, but a real partner. And I've gotta say that it terrifies me. I've been hurt so badly that I fear feeling. It's not his fault and I try to never take it out on him, but it's there nonetheless. I have nightmares like last nights where I wake up never wanting to sleep again but knowing that I will eventually have to. At any rate, all sorts of garbage from the past came up in my memory and are swirling around like a clogged toilet that just won't flush. It will pass, as it always does, but in the mean time I'm feeling pretty shitty. On a positive note though: I finally got DSL and so caught up on all my blog reading and even commented a little bit! |
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12/21/2010 1:19 pm |
Chin up - dont let small people get you down...
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Seems to me like RB likes dishing the dirt for the slightest thing and doesn't care who he hurts.
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12/23/2010 1:10 pm |
It’s sad there are those that know how to hurt both in word and deed; especially those that should know better. You’re right, this too shall pass but I can see how much it troubles you now, and for that, I'm truly sorry. From our home to yours; Wishing you and yours a Joyous Holiday Season ! H.
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