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Last place in the blowjob contest  

40Deuce 43M
5639 posts
6/8/2018 5:33 pm

Last Read:
6/15/2018 5:50 pm

Last place in the blowjob contest


time I ed in a street hockey "league" back in the days when went outside . And time this dude was talking all kinds of trash so this other dude says to him he says "You're to talk , your team is in last place !" whereupon he was heard to remark "Your momma is in last place in the blowjob contest !"

Which you have to admit is a well crafted insult .

I feel like your average fellow would say something like "Your momma sucks dick !" which is a pretty standard insult . People definitely don't like it but the reality is as much as you don't (and shouldn't) like to think about it the majority of mommas have probably sucked a few dicks .

But this genius not only said that your momma was the type of very promiuous person that would enter into a blowjob contest in the first place but also that she was no good at it .

It works on so many levels .

That's kind of the feeling I've had lately - I'm in last place in the blowjob contest . I'm upset that I'm in last place but the big picture is that I don't even want to be in this contest !

time I banged this chick who was totally hot . I mean she was like so hot . You don't even know . Think about the hottest chick you can think of and then multiple that by a hundred and then you might begin to understand how hot this chick was .

So after I gave it to her we're lying there in bed and she's<b> smoking </font></b>of her Benson & Hedges and I say to her "How was it ?" confidently because I KNEW how it was an it was spectacular .

And she took a long drag and she said "Well , you're not gay that's for sure ."

And I go "With the what now ?" because this was a few back when people said "with the what now" and it was cool as fuck .

And she laughed and said "I can't believe you're not gay !"

"What are you talking about ?" I said in a manly mauline voice .

She went on to explain that every at work thought that I was gay even though Nesbit had asked me if I was gay and I told him that I was not - they all felt that I was hiding my gayness , perhaps even from myself . And that's why she asked me out , she wanted to prove I was gay by trying to fuck me .

I smiled proudly "So now you know , I'm a super-virile straight man ."

She rolled over slightly to stub out her cigarette in my Supreme Gold Trim Porcelain Ashtray giving me a glimpse of her perfect sexy hot ass and she said "Yeah well I definitely know you're not gay , you fuck like a straight man ."

She definitely didn't mean it as a compliment . Which is interesting . Because it implies that she , a woman , has had sex with enough gay guys to make a comparison AND that gay men are betting at pleasing women than straight men .

In conclusion remember that episode of Jake and the Fatman where of Jake's buddies who ed him on a drug bust end up dead and Jake and the Fatman think that a contract killer is after them hired by the drug cartel but then they find out that both guys were cheating on their wives to the wives made a pact whereby they would off the other 's husband ? I do .

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40Deuce 43M
5727 posts
6/8/2018 5:34 pm

Do people not fall into wells anymore or did people just stop caring when they did ? It used to be all the media talked about pretty much .

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


superbjversion2 65F
20319 posts
6/8/2018 5:50 pm

I will never enter a blowjob contest cuz I don't want to be in last place but part of me wants too just to know what place I'd be in! What a conundrum.

Sex is to Fun as Square is to Rectangle


40Deuce replies on 6/10/2018 7:28 am:
I'll work on a VR blowjob contest simulator for you

japaneseass 52F  
49487 posts
6/8/2018 5:53 pm

um....soooooo....

does gay dudes not only fuck girls...but fuck girls better than straight dudes??? what am i missing here??? should i start to send them my messages??? i just always thought they are not interested in the opposite sex...so i have never sent my messages...oh boy...i must have been missing big time???


40Deuce replies on 6/10/2018 7:29 am:
They're not , but you can badger them into it if you're persistent - just like men do to women

partygald 37F
1791 posts
6/9/2018 2:52 am

Good gawd!! Jake and the fatman!!!
Holy egging eighties Batman! That was gone from my memory bank up until now. I don’t even know what the show was about (doubt I ever watched an episode) but I must have seen the promos on tv when I was a wee lass cos I remember the title.
Ha! Jake and the Fatman 🤣


40Deuce replies on 6/10/2018 7:29 am:
It mostly about Jake , and somewhat about the Fatman

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