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There's one thing that's true no matter where in the galaxy you go - sandwiches are good  

40Deuce 42M
4977 posts
9/19/2018 6:42 pm

Last Read:
9/21/2018 5:40 pm

There's one thing that's true no matter where in the galaxy you go - sandwiches are good


A while ago someone at work asked "does it smell like paint thinner in here to you ?" and I explained that I have a very poor sense of smell , which led to me telling the story (such as it is) of my sister shooting a bottle rocket up my nose .

And I realized for the FIRST time that this happened in the summer of '83 - the same year Return of the Jedi came out .

What's the significance there ? Much like Luke hitting the exhaust port on the Death Star to start the chain reaction to destroy it my sister hitting me IN the nose like that was a million to one shot .

Most people probably think that my sister pinned me down and jammed a bottle rocket in my nose and set it off but that's not so . We were running around playing with fireworks , as did in those days - it was a simpler time before rainbow parties and pill swapping - and I said something to her that made her mad (I don't recall what) and she fired said bottle rocket at me from maybe 17 feet away .

Being a sissy boy when I saw that she was firing at me I both ducked and spun away . Now I know what you're thinking , what the hell 40 , were you TRYING to get a bottle rocket up the ass ? First of all I was six you sick bastard and secondly I panicked - obviously the smart thing to do would have been to drop to the ground but it was an instinctual wussy reaction .

The point is the rocket came under my body/torso and right up the nose - which is a highly unlikely turn of events .

But 40 , you're taking about the first Star Wars movie that came out in 77 not Return of the Jedi .

Shut up , there's a connection still !

Did you know that David Cronenberg was one of the original choices to direct Return of the Jedi ? Wrap you mind about that folks . I kind of want to start working on a screenplay of what a Cronenberg Return of the Jedi would have been like . I mean who didn't walk out of Jedi saying "I wish that had been more like Dead Ringers" ? If they did they were time travelers fool because that movie didn't come out for another 5 years !

Anyway , Cronenberg Jedi - think about it .

I had a fairly disturbing dream the other night - an older fellow from work came to live with me as did a mentally challenged person I knew years ago . Oldy had a stoke and his freaked out mentally challenged dude who responded by beating the shit out of him while he was having a stroke . I tried to stop him but he was too strong . So I called 911 and three paramedics showed up , two of them started helping stroke guy and the other one tried to calm down mentally challenged guy but he flipped out again and started strangling her . Again I tried to stop him but couldn't . In the end all 3 paramedics were badly injured and I was trying to call 911 again while hiding from mentally challenged guy .

I suppose if you think dreams mean anything this is a manifestation of my attempts to help people by doing my job and how they're thwarted by the uncaring of others . But dreams don't mean anything .

Many years back I went to a football game with my buddy Floorboard and his GF and my buddy Camelback and his fiancée . As we were getting ready to go Camelback's fiancée says to Floorboard's GF "You look nice" and she said "thanks" and after a beat fiancée said "Usually when a girl tells another girl she looks nice they say it back" and GF said "But you're dressed like a boy" .

Things got real ugly after that .

Is that true ? If you're a woman and compliment one of your peers do you expect them to say it back ?

Have you seen any of the commercials for the new Magnum PI . It looks awful . Wait no , let me change that , it doesn't look very Magnum PI-y , it looks like generic action show # 17 . It actually looks kind of like an A-Team rip off to me more than anything .

Do TV show reboots ever work ? Knightrider sucked , Bionic Woman sucked , V sucked , Dallas sucked , Dynasty sucked , Heroes Reborn SUPER sucked , 90210 suck , Fuller House awful , MacGyver pukatronic , Odd Couple lame , Charlie's Angels garbage , etc.

The X-Files is okay but that's not really a reboot .

Generally there's a reason for this failure , although I have no theory on why the people making these shows can't figure it out .

Good news ! You've acquired the rights to remake that classic show you loved as a . But hold on ; you watch the series again and you realize something. Shockingly , there's No Hugging , No Kissing - not even sexual tension or a gratuitous bikini shot . Well, that will never do , surely people only ever watch TV for the sex , right ? And what'll keep the parents entertained ? There's only one thing for it : you'll have to make it younger and hotter .

Firstly , all female characters get stripperiffic outfits , while all men get one shirtless scene after another . Then add some "Witty Banter" between the lead characters about penis size , some bow-chicka-bow-wow , a "manly" hero and a chaste sidekick who's a stupid and innocent virgin , a Ms. Fanservice with gag boobs and no nudity taboo . Heck , why not go all the way and chuck everyone in bed together and say it's just you making the series more mature ?

Unsurprisingly , fans tend to dislike these remakes for several reasons . Firstly , these are characters that people have cherished since childhood and it can be very disturbing to see them suddenly start making masturbation jokes . Secondly , some people feel awkward about blatant innuendos , especially when they are so blatant that the clean meaning is harder to find than the dirty one . Third it can seem insulting to both the viewers and to the franchise . It seems to be saying both that "Viewers Are Morons—they won't watch a show unless it has sex in it !" and "this show is so terrible that if we don't chuck some cheap titillation in , no one will watch it !" Finally, given that the sex is effectively added as an afterthought , it can often feel badly taped on .

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40Deuce 42M
5727 posts
9/19/2018 6:44 pm

Did you know that JAG , the NCIS shows , Hawaii 5-O reboot , Scorpion and the MacGyver reboot all take place in the same world/continuity . No you didn't because why would anyone care ?

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nekkedcouple 59M/54F  
78 posts
9/19/2018 7:11 pm

I read your whole blog post out loud to my wife and she just wants to say: Dude, you have got some whacky stuff going on in your skull! haha
She also wants you to know she did NOT know about the Magnun P.I. remake


40Deuce replies on 9/21/2018 5:41 pm:
Hopefully said remake won't be around long

Kinkyprofessor73 47M
4 posts
9/19/2018 7:21 pm

Yes!


smartasswoman 62F  
33142 posts
9/19/2018 9:19 pm

So how do you feel about your blog being read aloud to that guy's wife? Do you think they were doing that as foreplay?


40Deuce replies on 9/21/2018 5:42 pm:
Seems unlikely , that would be a pretty unique fetish

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