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Blogs > ThomBombadil > Vs. The World.

I'm just procrastinating.  

ThomBombadil 40M
333 posts
4/15/2014 5:34 pm
I'm just procrastinating.

I sometimes say things like "I don't get that" or "I don't know why I did that". But I usually do get it and I usually do know why I did that. It's just a knee jerk reaction, really. "I don't get why people do blah blah blah." Of course I get why people do blah blah blah. They do blah blah blah because they're stupid. Or lonely. Or mean. Or completely fucking crazy. I know why. I just say that thing so I don't really have to talk about whatever it is that I know or I get or whatever, because that would lead to a conversation and I'm not great at conversations.

I hit the "post" button and I was all about to type "I don't know why I'm back here" or "why I keep coming back here" or whatever stupid shit I was about to type. But I totally know why I'm here. Besides the obvious "I don't feel like doing the homework that sitting a tab away waiting to be done".

I keep coming back here for ________.

I must not be ready to fill in that blank.

Word bank? Sure.

Lions.
Summer camps.
Museums.
Wine.
Vampires.
Travel Guitars.
Bus trips.
Bubbles.

I dunno. They're all fine choices. Whatever floats your boat.
"Everything in moderation, including moderation"
- Oscar Wilde
stormyroses 40F
1620 posts
7/21/2014 8:52 am

 I am back here for hope. I go through hopeful periods where I log onto here, or FL, or OKC, with the hope that I'll find someone I can make a connection with. Mental, physical, spiritual - it doesn't matter. Just someone who can mean something to me. For the last X years, I have not met men who mean anything to me beyond the vague fondness that I feel for all of humanity.

I log on, and I think, "okay, this time I'll really make the effort to find someone."

After hours, or days, or weeks, I am forced to conclude that the problem is not with the people on these sites, it's with me. And I go back to my days of work and reading and exercise and being alone.

Are inevitably-dashed hopes better than no hope at all? I still haven't found the answer to that one.
Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself.

"Be the change you want to see."

HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo


oldhabits88 38F
Ask me for a photo
166 posts
12/13/2018 12:38 am

 I keep coming back here for vampires. You know the emotional kind that drain the life out of you.


ThomBombadil replies on 12/13/2018 7:58 am:
Oh, I know exactly the kind. I’ve been dealing with them for so much of my life.

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