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Each person has their own view on anything, sexual included. Do what feels right and feels good regardless of what others think.
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3/18/2018 1:52 pm |
Like tallnthin said, do what you're comfortable with. In my own experience there needs to be some level of that elusive "chemistry" for the sex to feel like more than just masturbating. I did have one experience here where I met someone with whom I had chatted with the intent of fucking {I got us a room}. It was ... OK. I think if we had met in person before we would have realized that the spark wasn't there. I'm not sure what role "attraction" plays in this, but I believe "attraction" is one of the base layers on which the "chemistry" builds. For me the kind of blase fucking isn't fun.
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nice one
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I think you dodged a rather lethal bullet in a very admirable form in combination with an inherent sensibility and conviction. Did you know what he looked like or was it something about his dogs butt in heat approach and how he canonized the slut title like a regal appointment and the honors that are bestowed upon those chosen that had you making such a wise decision. I've always erred on the side of respect and courteousness. Sadly, it rarely complies as one of the "Stand out" attributes. Great job! Using more than all the road!
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Ah dearie me, the McBaffster has a not dis-similar conversation going on his blog post here: Looking For What It seems to me that everything revolves around respect, which really starts with self-respect. And so it would depend on one's own measure of self-respect. While the idea of running around with a harem of girls, jumping their bones at will and without consequence (damage to one's own self-respect) may seem appealing to some, even superficially to me, I think the reality would be somewhat different.
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For some reason the post link doesn't seem to be working, so: The McBaffster = MyBaffies........
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3/18/2018 3:37 pm |
From reading your question, I'm thinking YOUR thinking sex, means intercourse. Is it satisfying? In some ways, yes. But for me, no. I'd rather be with one person who wants me, and I want her. A vibrator can't touch you! Meaning, being with someone, feeling their hands and body on you; your hands on them! A vibrator can't kiss you. A vibrator doesn't have hands to touch you. It's only meant for one purpose. Men and women are different. Some want to get laid quick. Me, I want the love part of it too. Call me a beta or worse. But I love women, and want all the touch and love, AND the sex. Maybe I'm a bad example, as I want love first, then sex. To also answer your post. # 1 - for some, I guess a hole in a tree will do! Not me! # 2 - an attraction to someone IS mostly enough for me to WANT to have sex, if that's your meaning. # 3 - I'm guessing for that guy, it's more fun. For me, I can't be a slut. There ARE more important things in life! Being curious and asking questions is a good thing!
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I have had one night stands that were great and some that were flat. Most of the time there has been a night of conversation, dancing and some other kinds of fun before the sex fun..while that may not be a great connection; it was a connection. There was a absolute no connection on night. The conversation went like this "Do you want to?" and the answer from both of us was "yes" It was a fun sex filled night.
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I sometimes wish I could just have sex with no emotional attachment and be a slut but unfortunately I am not put together that way. Every woman I have slept with has meant something to me and it always hurt when we parted ways. I often wonder what it must be like to be able to lock those feelings away in a box and just enjoy the physical experience. I am not sure it would be better but it would certainly be different,for me anyway! 
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So what's the appeal of involving someone who is practically a stranger to get off, . . . your hand could achieve the same thing A hand isn't a mouth or pussy, doesn't have boobs and does not interact or react like a person. 1. Is connection wanted for sex or just another breathing human being to rub bits with? Both are doable, the connection provides for a more intimate and satisfying experience. 2. Is being attracted to someone enough of a connection for sex? For some people it can be. 3. Is it really more fun to be a "slut" (as described by the guy I chatted with)? Allow me to perform some experiments on this, strictly for scientific purposes of course  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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I've never had a one night stand as I'm not sure I'm attracted to the experience. Sure it can seem exciting but I think I prefer an emotional connection too after getting to know a partner over however long it takes.
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12FK2 replies on 3/18/2018 6:23 pm: Let me know how your experiment goes, lol. Can't wait to hear the result! I'm "interviewing" potential subjects feel free to apply  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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I'm honestly not sure I buy the whole "slut" . I could probably beat this one to hell and gone, but sticking to simple answers: 1. Is connection wanted for sex or just another breathing human being to rub bits with? I've never drilled down on it like this, but I'm not real comfortable with such a disposable approach to other people. That's also why I don't entirely buy it. That's the definition of a sociopath. Very few people are that vacant, and despite all the talk, I really doubt he's one of them. 2. Is being attracted to someone enough of a connection for sex? Not with such a paper thin definition of "attraction." 3. Is it really more fun to be a "slut" (as described by the guy I chatted with)? I doubt I'll ever feel compelled to find out.
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3/18/2018 6:28 pm |
I think sometimes, yes. depends on the situation.
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12FK2 replies on 3/18/2018 9:34 pm: You make a good point. I don't know if I would go as far as sociopath for those who indulge in one night stands or extremely casual sex. Could be a lot of things that allow them to enjoy/accept little to no connection in order to have sex with someone. Yeah, you're right. To harsh of a word and I knew it as I said it. Looking back at what I wrote, I get why I said it that way and won't clutter up your blog explaining, but I'd have been better just leaving that part out. It's Monday. Fresh start. Have a great week.
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I prefer a connection before having sex, and like to get to know the guy by chatting in person or on the phone - to get to know each other. I've been on this site for almost 20 years (off and on, and now mostly for the blogs), and have discovered that empty sex (just for sex's sake) always left me feeling like i was using the guy and he was using me. I don't need sex badly enough to disrespect myself, or the guy. I'll wait for someone with whom I have a special connection, and if that doesn't happen - I guess I'll just do without. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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I have had slutty phases in my life - where I had no problem having sex with someone a few hours after I met them. Re, the questions you pose, yes, I need to feel a "connection" but I'm one of those people who can develop enough of a connection to feel comfortable having sex, after some email messaging and a couple hours worth of good in depth conversation in person. And anyone who I had sex with, was someone who I had enough interest in to go out with them again. It took me a while to figure out that a lot of men don't have the same scruples and are all too willing to have sex with someone who they have no intention of connecting with again. I had to tamp down my "sluttiness" just because I didn't really want to a long series of one night stands.   
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