Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Forgot password?
Blogs > thislustfulmind > From the corner of my thoughts

The power of saying NO / YES / MAYBE - and the courage it takes...  

thislustfulmind 46M
6 posts
3/20/2014 8:25 pm
The power of saying NO / YES / MAYBE - and the courage it takes...
Ok, so you are not interested. How about just say: "Thanks - but no thanks".

Believe me, it is more elegant to say No Thanks, than to disappear after countless exchanges, or a lame excuse, like "the ate my _ _ _ _ _". We are all adults here (ok, that's a long shot). The fact is that there's power in saying no. Where negativity is an ongoing attitude, No is a moment of clear choice. It announces, however indirectly, something affirmative about you.

The No that is an affirmation of self implicitly acknowledges personal responsibility. It says that while each of us interacts with others, and respects, and values those relationships, we do not and cannot allow ourselves always to be influenced by them. The strength we draw from saying No is that it underscores this hard truth of maturity: The buck stops here.

Whether reasonably required ("I can't see you today because I am leaving town tonight"), tactfully couched ("Yours is the best banana bread ever, but my doctor has me on a special diet") or firmly asserted ("Thank you for asking, but I am already committed this weekend"), the receiver hears No. And feels bad. And that is ok. But make no mistake. You are still delivering a clear and powerful No, and the other person well understands that. This No, sweeter and softer, may go down better.

No is best deployed pleasantly with an air of Zen calm. (Tricky, because you are likely feeling very far from it.) Outward calm helps quiet your inner turmoil. What's more, it will reduce the negative impact of your No on the brain of the receiver. The jolt that No delivers is big enough without a tsunami of anger and invective.

Ok, if we have been communicating you know I expect a YES (or even a maybe) - But instead of disappearing and leaving me on limbo - please take courage in speaking your mind - If you are not interested, save ourselves time and simply say it... NO Thanks. I promise I will do the same. So we can both move on.

No pun intended, there are "plenty of fish" out there for all of us.


Please visit [post 3368605] to learn more about me.
1seeking1 58F
3767 posts
5/13/2014 11:33 am

 Totally agree, it does work both ways.


Become a member to create a blog