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Men and Women Have Different Sexual Fantasies  

sexyldy1000 68F  
10139 posts
9/23/2021 4:04 pm
Men and Women Have Different Sexual Fantasies



Even the most sex-positive folks can find themselves feeling confused and uncertain when reflecting on the arousing, erotic mental images known as sexual fantasies they may have.

Chances are even your most taboo fantasies are normal and healthy. In fact, evidence suggests that those who have sexual fantasies experience less anxiety and a greater sense of self-esteem.

Most adults have them and yes, there are differences in what women and men fantasize about.

A 2017 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior involving Canadian university undergraduates revealed 64% of participants had some interest in multi-partner sex.

Another study published in Personality and Individual Differences involving British adults found that men specifically may fantasize more about multi-partner sex. Male participants of the study were more likely to fantasize about sex with multiple people and with anonymous partners. Meanwhile, women's fantasies were more likely to include same-sex partners and<b> famous </font></b>people.

Some people are aroused by light restraint, others by intense physical pain. Psychological roleplay may also be considered BDSM as it involves an exchange of power.

Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist whose research focuses on sexuality, discovered this fantasy is popular when doing research for his book on the science of sexual desire called Tell Me What You Want. He found 93% of women and 81% of men had fantasized about being sexually dominated. Further, 85% of men and 76% of women had fantasized about being sexually dominant.

Sex in public is another popular fantasy that may fall under exhibitionism. In Lehmiller's same survey, he found 81% of men and 84% of women were aroused by a public sex fantasy.

Brett Kahr, a British psychotherapist and author of Who’s Been Sleeping In Your Head? analyzed the sexual fantasies of British and American adults.

Here are some other interesting findings:
~41% imagine sex with someone else’s partner (75% of people think this one trait makes you more attractive)
~39% think about sex with a work colleague
~25% (particularly men and younger people) fantasize about celebrities
~18% percent of women fantasize about sex with two or more men

Before you start trying out fantasies with your partner there are important aspects of experimentation you should ensure are in place for utmost safety and pleasure.
1. Establish consent
2. Discuss boundaries
3. Use proper protection
4. Treat your partner with respect

Sexual fantasies are nothing to be embarrassed about. Desire is a key part of sexuality and having fantasies is normal, common, and healthy.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/23/2021 4:14 pm

[image]
Do you agree with the experts?

Are you comfortable discussing your fantasies with your partner?


p1947q 77M  
140 posts
9/23/2021 5:05 pm

First, I do like the thought in your opening comment.

And yes I do agree.

My ideal person is someone with whom we have developed a mutual respect and a comfort level that allows us to open a dialog about anything and everything knowing that either partner has veto rights.

and to borrow a line from my previous post - if it feels good do it, if it doesn't, don't


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
9/23/2021 6:33 pm

I'm curious if the experts said anything about how many people do/do not want to make their fantasy a reality?

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


amigoviomx 42M

9/23/2021 6:39 pm

Thanks for you post


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
9/23/2021 7:20 pm

Fantasies are unique to everyone and they're fun to share with your partner. ❗❗😊


boobwhisperer69 61M  
8322 posts
9/23/2021 9:34 pm

Like a finger print..............no two are the same!!!!


exsquid46 64M
640 posts
9/23/2021 11:47 pm

Ms. sexyldy1000,

While every adult does have sexual fantasies, it is rare to find a partner that shares the same fantasies or even one of the fantasies.

While sharing a fantasy with your partner, you do have to look ahead and think about the outcome of sharing. Some partners will be willing to help you live out one or more of your fantasies, while some partners could see a fantasy as perverted and sickening.

There is also the possibility that if you do help your partner live out a fantasy, that that fantasy was better than they expected and they want more of it. This could lead to your partner leaving and chasing that fantasy as a new normal sex life.

This is why some fantasies should be and remain just that, FANTASIES.


G000dbuddy 36M
1676 posts
9/24/2021 3:48 am

there are differences in what women and men fantasize about

goodbuddy781


easyrider4008 67M
2562 posts
9/24/2021 7:09 am

The great thing about a fantasy is that you can have anyone you want, rich or famous or the woman next door. I was told that Margret Thatcher was high on men's fantasy list back in the eighties, not my cup of tea for sure!


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
9/24/2021 10:24 am

This is a great study as I have shared this one before too, it's always a great read. Although I would have to say I don't fantasize I never have. I am wired a bit differently I guess.

I hope you enjoy your Friday and it's a great start to your weekend..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:23 pm

    Quoting p1947q:
    First, I do like the thought in your opening comment.

    And yes I do agree.

    My ideal person is someone with whom we have developed a mutual respect and a comfort level that allows us to open a dialog about anything and everything knowing that either partner has veto rights.

    and to borrow a line from my previous post - if it feels good do it, if it doesn't, don't
Communication and trust are paramount.
And you are right…if it feels good, do it 😊


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:25 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    I'm curious if the experts said anything about how many people do/do not want to make their fantasy a reality?
Transitioning from fantasy to reality varies. Many know they will never be able to do it and that perpetuates the fantasy.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:27 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Fantasies are unique to everyone and they're fun to share with your partner. ❗❗😊
There are commonalities in fantasies; how they are fulfilled can be unique to the participants 😊


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:28 pm

    Quoting boobwhisperer69:
    Like a finger print..............no two are the same!!!!
That is a very appropriate analogy! 😊


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:33 pm

    Quoting exsquid46:
    Ms. sexyldy1000,

    While every adult does have sexual fantasies, it is rare to find a partner that shares the same fantasies or even one of the fantasies.

    While sharing a fantasy with your partner, you do have to look ahead and think about the outcome of sharing. Some partners will be willing to help you live out one or more of your fantasies, while some partners could see a fantasy as perverted and sickening.

    There is also the possibility that if you do help your partner live out a fantasy, that that fantasy was better than they expected and they want more of it. This could lead to your partner leaving and chasing that fantasy as a new normal sex life.

    This is why some fantasies should be and remain just that, FANTASIES.
I disagree with your first statement as that has not been my experience.
You are right, there can be risks associated to revealing a fantasy with a partner.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:34 pm

    Quoting  :

I never haven’t either 😊


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 8:38 pm

    Quoting G000dbuddy:
    there are differences in what women and men fantasize about
Yes there there are.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 9:26 pm

    Quoting easyrider4008:
    The great thing about a fantasy is that you can have anyone you want, rich or famous or the woman next door. I was told that Margret Thatcher was high on men's fantasy list back in the eighties, not my cup of tea for sure!
Yes, that’s so true. Never would have guessed
Margaret Thatcher was a fantasy to many.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/24/2021 9:35 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    This is a great study as I have shared this one before too, it's always a great read. Although I would have to say I don't fantasize I never have. I am wired a bit differently I guess.

    I hope you enjoy your Friday and it's a great start to your weekend..
I am not big on fantasies either. I find it strange when basically a total stranger on here will ask what my fantasies are. Seriously? Enjoy the rest of your Friday!


lusciouslips7369 57M/50F
25 posts
9/25/2021 10:58 am

Yes one of my Fantasy is to be dominated. Pulled around forced to suck dick or pussy or titties. Tied down and fucked till I am exhausted. My pussy quivering cum oozing out of it . My breast red and swollen from all the pulling sucking and licking.. MY arms and legs wet from being licked and suck kissed. My other one is do it to another woman. I want have her tied up pussy spread wide. I want to suck. lick and fuck it hard. I want her cum running down my face onto my Breast. I want to abuse her nipples by sucking on them till they are engorged from it. I want her thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to fuck her with a strap on.
Damn no I am wet and horny again


justskin1 72M
13175 posts
9/25/2021 11:38 am

I have been rereading a book published in the mid-70s by Nancy Friday "My Secret Garden." It explored and published some women's sexual fantasies when many, mostly male, psychologists insisted that normal women did not have sexual fantasies and those who did were deviant. Fifty years makes such a difference!

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/25/2021 5:48 pm

    Quoting lusciouslips7369:
    Yes one of my Fantasy is to be dominated. Pulled around forced to suck dick or pussy or titties. Tied down and fucked till I am exhausted. My pussy quivering cum oozing out of it . My breast red and swollen from all the pulling sucking and licking.. MY arms and legs wet from being licked and suck kissed. My other one is do it to another woman. I want have her tied up pussy spread wide. I want to suck. lick and fuck it hard. I want her cum running down my face onto my Breast. I want to abuse her nipples by sucking on them till they are engorged from it. I want her thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to fuck her with a strap on.
    Damn no I am wet and horny again
Fantasies are as unique as the individuals who have them. People aren't always comfortable sharing theirs with others they do not know. Thanks for being the exception


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
9/25/2021 5:49 pm

    Quoting justskin1:
    I have been rereading a book published in the mid-70s by Nancy Friday "My Secret Garden." It explored and published some women's sexual fantasies when many, mostly male, psychologists insisted that normal women did not have sexual fantasies and those who did were deviant. Fifty years makes such a difference!
Wow! Times certainly have changed...thank goodness!


Hosemonkey669 42M
2 posts
10/4/2021 2:36 pm

Only 18 percent fantasize about sex with more than one man?
To me there’s nothing more incredible than the experience of overwhelming a woman’s senses and letting her feel the undivided attention or 2 men


lusciouslips7369 57M/50F
25 posts
10/7/2021 1:35 am

My fantasy is to be grabbed held tightly while he fucks the shit out of me. Pounding fast and hard. I want to be held so I can't move away from him. Also, I want to be a Dom over several sub females. I want to have them satisfying my every need. I want them to tie me up with soft silk ribbons. I want them both to licking and loving my body/ I also want one of them 2 fuck me with a strap-on. I want it to big balls that hang down so when they are fucking me those balls slap either my clit or asshole. I don't do anal but that pressure and smacking makes me cum more.

Fantasy Just greams for most of us


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
10/14/2021 10:37 am

    Quoting Hosemonkey669:
    Only 18 percent fantasize about sex with more than one man?
    To me there’s nothing more incredible than the experience of overwhelming a woman’s senses and letting her feel the undivided attention or 2 men
With the 'right' men involved, it can be an unforgettable experience. I have been fortunate to have had that pleasure.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
10/14/2021 10:39 am

    Quoting lusciouslips7369:
    My fantasy is to be grabbed held tightly while he fucks the shit out of me. Pounding fast and hard. I want to be held so I can't move away from him. Also, I want to be a Dom over several sub females. I want to have them satisfying my every need. I want them to tie me up with soft silk ribbons. I want them both to licking and loving my body/ I also want one of them 2 fuck me with a strap-on. I want it to big balls that hang down so when they are fucking me those balls slap either my clit or asshole. I don't do anal but that pressure and smacking makes me cum more.

    Fantasy Just greams for most of us
It's great you have very specific ideas about what you want. Hopefully, those fantasies are fulfilled for you someday.


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