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Blogs > spiderj72 > Going to Hell for sure |
Help.
Help. I may have forgotten how to make love. Its like a penis thing right? I think it goes into the lady but I am not sure where? Kissing is just your lips together right? That hasn't changed has it? We don't do it with our ears or anything right? And I seem to recall something about the bum. I seem to distantly recall some obsession I had with it. Anyone willing to help me clear this all up? |
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uncle spider...get a hold of yourself...you know there is no right or wrong in making love...so you know, you can put your penis in my ears...or nibbles my button nose, if you want to...just go at it...have fun...do whatever comes natural to yah...good luck...
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uncle spider...get a hold of yourself...you know there is no right or wrong in making love...so you know, you can put your penis in my ears...or nibbles my button nose, if you want to...just go at it...have fun...do whatever comes natural to yah...good luck...
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Here's what you want to do, in this very specific order. (It hurts really bad if you get the steps out of order!) 1) Place your love interest on her/his back on a relatively flat surface. If you haven't already removed their clothing, imagine I included step 1/2) Remove your love interest's clothing. 2) Place 3 slices of bologna over both nipples and the naval of your love interest. 3) Smear your love interests thighs with jelly. Jam or preserves will work too, but grape jelly has a proven track record. 4) Jog around your love making area 3 times while whistling and throwing Filberts in random directions. This chases away evil spirits and also gets the Filberts out of your mixed nuts. Nobody likes Filberts. 5) Approach your love interest and hover over them while staring deeply into their eyes. Once their eyes start to water from matching your staring, quickly (yet gently) suck the tears from their eyesockets and use it to extinguish 1 of the 7 candles you lit earlier. 1/4) Light 7 candles and place them around your love making area. 6) Eat 1 of the 3 slices of bologna you placed onto your love interest's body. This will supply the exact caloric level needed to perform steps 7 - 9. THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK
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Here's what you want to do, in this very specific order. (It hurts really bad if you get the steps out of order!) 1) Place your love interest on her/his back on a relatively flat surface. If you haven't already removed their clothing, imagine I included step 1/2) Remove your love interest's clothing. 2) Place 3 slices of bologna over both nipples and the naval of your love interest. 3) Smear your love interests thighs with jelly. Jam or preserves will work too, but grape jelly has a proven track record. 4) Jog around your love making area 3 times while whistling and throwing Filberts in random directions. This chases away evil spirits and also gets the Filberts out of your mixed nuts. Nobody likes Filberts. 5) Approach your love interest and hover over them while staring deeply into their eyes. Once their eyes start to water from matching your staring, quickly (yet gently) suck the tears from their eyesockets and use it to extinguish 1 of the 7 candles you lit earlier. 1/4) Light 7 candles and place them around your love making area. 6) Eat 1 of the 3 slices of bologna you placed onto your love interest's body. This will supply the exact caloric level needed to perform steps 7 - 9. THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK
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