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| Blogs > lonelyboybarrie > Not so Sweet Love |
I Need Some Advice
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I Need Some Advice I'm having a lil bit of trouble processing a problem I'm having in my love life. I found the girl of my dreams recently, I just moved across the country and was not looking to fall in love, or even for a girlfriend. I am honestly the happiest I have been in a long time, thanks to my gf. I had been noticing that there wasn't many pictures of us together on her social network pages. This lead me to start thinking that there is someone else in her life, or afraid of some sort of backlash from her community. We are of different races, I'm Caucasian, she is of Asian descent. I was awakened to a text today about something happening to change her mid about our relationship. We have not known each for long(4 weeks), but are as comfortable as long time lovers with each other. There is a bit of an age difference, I'm more than 10 yrs her elder. She is from another country and has no family here, just a couple friends. Some of her friends from home are giving her a hard time about seeing a white man in BC, apparently we are all dogs that will do and say anything to get someone in the sack. I know there are a lot of players out there. There are also a few genuine nice guys around. I'm the latter, and was upset to find out someone had gone to the trouble of filling her mother on the details of our relationship. Her mother and the rest of her family is naturally concerned for her and rightly so. my friend is a little hurt that people thousands of miles away are trying to control her life. I've never been with anyone of a different race and have no experience with this issue' I could use some advice or ideas on how to show her and her family that not all white guys are just out to get some. Im in love for the first time in a long time and will do anything for this woman. I didnt think i wiuld ever feel this way again after discovering the lengths my ex-wife went to to hide her numerous indiscretions. I didnt think trust was possible, thats not even an issue here. I need some feedback on this |
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I could use some advice or ideas on how to show her and her family that not all white guys are just out to get some. To go old school on you, the serenity prayer is popular for a reason: you can only control things from your end and you can't change anyone's mind, they have to do it themselves. The best advice is to be the person you are, unless you are just trying to get some or scratching some itch for something exotic, you should be demonstrating that you are in it or her, not just for what you can get out of it. Either she'll believe in your or she won't. Either her family will come around or they won't. There's nothing you can do to change either. Would you want to be with a woman who is questioning your motives every time you touch her. FWIW, you may have intense feelings after 4 weeks but it isn't love...yet. The first 2-3 months your brain is flooded with chemicals that make you feel good and that facilitate bonding. If she decides this won't work it will suck big time for you but you'll go on and only you can decide if and when you decide to open your heart again.
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4/23/2013 10:27 pm |
People need to stop being so afraid of what can happen. If you know how you feel and you both are feeling the same then you need to run with it. Hopefully you are not feeling just lust for her. You 2 should date for awhile and see where it goes. I'm also Asian and my boyfriend is Caucasian. Don't wait too long though. You will only frustrate yourself if she is uncertain. Best of luck to you.
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You really need to have several conversations with your GF. Here's the thing, you may love her with all your heart, but her family will be with her till the end. Unless you plan on marrying the girl, you actually have no real say. You're going to pull her in two directions. And if she sticks with you, she alienates her family. Can you support her emotionally if her friends and family abandons her? Harsh I know, even in 2013. Even in major metros like San Francisco this happens. "To Be Consumed" Blog : I want to be your drug of painful withdrawals.
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