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Sexual Attraction  

khuXBFXM8u 62M
6040 posts
9/23/2013 10:07 am
Sexual Attraction


Have you ever wondered how sexual attraction works? What makes someone more sexually desirable than others? The more time I spend on AdultFriendFinder, the more fascinated I am with the subject. Most literature suggests its nature’s programming of our brains, the natural order to select and respond to stimuli that cater to our reproductive senses. Some say it is just a matter of visual stimulus, things like facial symmetry, the desired hip to waist ratio, the curve at the bottom of the butt and breasts on a woman, or the shoulder to waist ratio and alethic look of man that does it. Other writings have an entirely different list of factors, not all based on visual attractiveness. Although there isn’t complete agreement on the subject of which stimuli come into play, there does seem to be a consensus that it is a purely visceral reaction. Is it that simple, or is it more complex than that? Over my life, I have had the good fortune to meet several sets of attractive identical twins, and would always have a preference for one over the other immediately. I don’t think I am the only one this has happened to. This phenomenon has certainly been made light of in popular entertainment, like the TV show Friends, where Joey Tribbiani falls for Phoebe’s “evil” twin sister Ursula. If it’s all visceral and based on visual stimuli, shouldn’t the attraction to each of the twins be identical? So why do I, and it seems a lot of other people, have the seemly strange reaction.

I am inclined to believe that sexual attraction is not purely visceral. There are other factors in play, that can enhance or derail, how sexually desirable we find someone.

At university, I had a part time job at one of the<b> campus </font></b>bars. I ran into a co-ed from another school as I was leaving the bathroom. She was very attractive, looked a little sad, but had an undeniable sexual aura about her. I asked her, “what was the matter”? She responded “my lover doesn’t want me anymore”. I am not sure what I responded with, but after the exchange, she had moved in for a kiss, and I was more than happy to oblige. She was sexually aggressive, which I found a welcome change from the heavy lifting one had to do back in the day to get to shake the sheets (no AdultFriendFinder back then, or texting for a hookup). In less than 5 minutes, we had gone from total strangers to making arrangements to consummate our new friendship, when I finished work.

It was a top shelf evening, full of fun and magic for all; she had game. The following morning we decided there would be an encore performance that night, but the performance would be preceded by a date. We would meet back at the same bar. It was a big party weekend (homecoming), so I would get to combine all my favorite things in a great evening; I was so excited. The date was a huge mistake, my sexual partner was one dimensional in her ability to relate to me, and I think men in general, (I ran into her about 14 years later, and she was still complaining of her inability to hold onto a lover). She couldn’t seem to carry a conversation that wasn’t about sex, couldn’t have a good time, and was killing the buzz of a guy “who’s never met a party he didn’t like”. As the night wore on, she got the feeling that I was not enjoying her company in the current social setting, as much as I had enjoyed her company between the sheets, so she started to press, sexually. Over the next few hours, I was whispered graphic details about what I was in for that evening. Her inability to interact with me socially or intellectually and her continued barrage became tiresome, having the opposite effect of what she intended. Instead of turning me on, she was turning me off. Eventually I just wanted to get the hell away from her, and succeeded by the end of the night. So with in a 24 hour span, the sexual attraction I had felt was wiped out, by an inability to connect on other levels.

So if sexual attraction is indeed a visceral reaction to visual stimuli, what happened? None of the visual stimuli had changed in the 24 hour period, but somehow the sexual attraction got short circuited. And no, it wasn’t a hump and dump thing (a few readers may be thinking that), I am a big proponent of once is never enough (3, 4, 5 …10, maybe). We did get together a few weeks later, but the magic was gone.

I would like to get thoughts on what you feel triggers sexual attraction and what kills it.

Find pleasure in giving pleasure


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