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rickyspanish76 44M
7849 posts
10/31/2015 5:58 pm

see mine


keithcancook 63M
18142 posts
10/31/2015 6:58 pm

You have put more than a little thought into this. Very well expressed, too. Sexual intelligence. A related concept I had not considered as yet. I'm certain there is a man out there who can show you that it is so much more than simple physical urge. I hope he finds you.

Great post for you, and for our symposium! Thanks, aflower!

blog on!


mamacita38dd 41F  
48396 posts
10/31/2015 7:04 pm



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FarmGirl6969 57F  
286 posts
10/31/2015 7:10 pm

Wholeheartedly agree


gardenboy321 56M  
41167 posts
10/31/2015 7:27 pm

I feel the same... I don't just want to be a human dildo... I want the woman to be attracted to me as a person.

Thoughts from the Garden...


myelin36 49F  
3615 posts
11/1/2015 4:39 am

Thanks for sharing your insight! I enjoyed reading your perspective.

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spunkycumfun 59M/65F  
36127 posts
11/1/2015 6:34 am

Very well said!


missthee 54F  
4113 posts
11/1/2015 4:22 pm

Sometimes it feels like a catch-22. When my primal side is switched on, my brain is very happy to take a much-needed break. For my primal side to be turned on, though, requires some intelligent effort from the guy's side.


kinkyfem73 47F

11/1/2015 5:08 pm

You captured perfectly what I struggled to write!
Fabulous post!!!

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nightsoul1962 57F
17863 posts
11/2/2015 3:04 am

You made you point, and made it well!! I totally agree!! Congrats for job well done!!!

WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING


BiggLala 48F  
27889 posts
11/2/2015 7:07 am

"Most men are not interested in engaging the brain before body. They seem to consider it 'too much work' "...YES!!!! I marvel at the "too much work" ones, because when you THINK about it, it's really not.

"But I need to find you interesting and engaging, I need to believe that you are in fact enjoying the sex with me, and not just enjoying the sex because "finally someone to jerk me off" kinda feel to it."...OMG YES!!!!!

"I dislike when men think "emotional connection" means full time relationship. To me it just means that my brain needs to be a part of this sex thing or the vag goes dry."...HUGE YES!!!!

I could quote your entire post because this is exactly how I feel many times when trying to meet someone. Excellent post, Miss Flower!!!! Just excellent!

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BiggLala 48F  
27889 posts
11/2/2015 7:48 am

"Penetrate my mind, before engaging my body."

Stealing^^^^^!

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kzoopair 68M/67F
25704 posts
11/2/2015 9:01 am

What kept me on this site was the chance to read what women, especially mature women, past thirty five or forty years old, have to say about their lives and their sexuality. You have said very well what the majority of women on the site have tried to convey- "I am not an emotionless life support system for a vagina."

It's discouraging and depressing that so many men ignore this. It ain't rocket science.

Become a member now and get a free tote bag.


KItkat1415 57F  
19816 posts
11/2/2015 1:34 pm

I happened upon a couple different men in a row that are worthy of saying that they don't mind the connection or the work to get to the connection.

I know I have been lucky. In some ways, my ex-husband became lazy and didn't want to engage me any more and that contributed to our marriage's break-up and his dissatisfaction.

Good post,
Kitkat

The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
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veryfunnycple64 56M/56F  
21783 posts
11/2/2015 6:34 pm

you hit on the proverbial head (cock)! Sexual intelligence is what matters to men...woman want more....pillow talk, foreplay, touching, and bonding, so what men want and what woman want can be different but if the man understands that....being sapiosexual....he can attain sexual nirvana with the woman!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


redrockrascal 61M
21216 posts
11/4/2015 3:09 pm

    Quoting kzoopair:
    What kept me on this site was the chance to read what women, especially mature women, past thirty five or forty years old, have to say about their lives and their sexuality. You have said very well what the majority of women on the site have tried to convey- "I am not an emotionless life support system for a vagina."

    It's discouraging and depressing that so many men ignore this. It ain't rocket science.
What he said ^

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


lordjack1957 62M

11/4/2015 9:05 pm

Nicely done! For me the first attraction is always physical.... but then it's kind of like when I see an interesting cover on a book I will check out the content to see if is as interesting, most of the time they are not. However sometimes you find one that you can't put down.

LJ


lordjack1957 62M

11/5/2015 7:17 am

    Quoting lordjack1957:
    Nicely done! For me the first attraction is always physical.... but then it's kind of like when I see an interesting cover on a book I will check out the content to see if is as interesting, most of the time they are not. However sometimes you find one that you can't put down.
Lol..I can't imagine how much time I would spend in the library if I chose a book by reading the first page or two especially as slow as I like to read.

LJ


author51 57F  
88182 posts
11/5/2015 10:49 am

    Quoting gardenboy321:
    I feel the same... I don't just want to be a human dildo... I want the woman to be attracted to me as a person.
GB is right on the money....I do not sleep around and need that mental stimuli with a potential sex partner before I even consider sex with them... I do not want a relationship either but has to be someone I am compatible with both mind and body......

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


humorlife 115M
5719 posts
11/9/2015 5:11 am

The most disturbing part of your post is your admission (resignation?) that you dumb down profiles and conversations... I realize this may serve to enhance the available pool, but...

are the new fish coming through really worth casting a rod over? (or whatever the female equivalent is: "Casting a rod" strikes me as phallocentric.)

Ah, well, you seem to pull back: As you note, poly people doesn't necessarily need a grand passion: Some, however, want all-body stimulation to get 'em going (others may be quite happy with the occasional mechanical rub, and power to them.).

But... sexual intelligence is more than experience. It's experience combined with self-examination. Seeking that, as you note, is a form of sapiosexuality in and of itself, and it has nothing to do with being able to formulate universal physics theories...

Well done, and a fine contribution to the virtual symposium! One request, if I may... would you offer a link to the list of other contributors? Your readers might enjoy seeing how other bloggers tackle the subject...

Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic


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