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Blogs > a_gothgrrrl > The Train Wreck.

How to approach a woman on a sex site  

a_gothgrrrl 46F  
41 posts
1/20/2015 5:19 pm
How to approach a woman on a sex site

As a female on this site and a cammer I have had my share of offers from people on this site, most of which turn me off. But Goth, you're on a sex site doesn't that mean you're ready to just jump into every offer you receive? Why no, I'm not. Sadly most won't realize what I'm looking for since A.F.F won't allow a person to view a profile that isn't paying for it so a lot of time and energy is wasted and headaches ensue.
People let me start by saying I have accepted offers, I have amazing experiences, ok experiences, bad experiences, new experiences and the kinds you wished you never put yourself into. I have had several fwb and i even ultimately had a long term relationship because of this site and I cherish it all. It's who I am. I love sex and I'm always trying to find that experience that just wows me. In the meantime, I make friends, a lot of really good ones actually, meet people and occasionally even have a good time but let's get to the point of this blog posting.
Most of the women I know from this site actually like to get to know someone so if the icon I have to look at of you is your genitalia I"m probably going to be put off by it. It's hard to take a conversation seriously when I have to look at your dick be it flaccid or hard or somewhere inbetween. Is that how you would introduce yourself to me if we were at a coffee shop. I thought not.
Asking if I'm horny or if you can come over when I haven't even talked to you is an instant goodbye. For me at least. If I want to fuck a stranger I'll approach you. I admit it can be a fantasy to meet somewhere random and someone just grab me and pull me into a corner and show me something hot and heavy and just push all the right buttons to leave me disheveled in a corner when its all over but again it does take a mood to get me into that frame of mind which isn't all the time. Best approach drop the I want to fuck your pussy pick up lines and just say hi.
Sexy is intelligence. It is manners. Sometimes I wonder if some of you guys kiss your mothers with those mouths of yours. Try doing something as simple as talking generally and then if it seems like your clicking take it to another level. I don't find myself interested in telling you everything sexual I'm into within the first minute of you sending me a message. It's a long list and I'd rather show someone who interests me as well.
I'm not bashful I do approach guys here and I do meet them. I also meet with a 0 expectation of anything happening. If it does awesome that means we connected nicely if it doesn't no big loss I met a really cool person where we just didn't mesh. It's all good. I just ask for a little courtesy here because again i truly enjoy sex but there's sex and then there's feeling like a piece of meat and i do have some respect for myself as most of theother women on here seem to as well.
"I could make you all go away, any time I want to"
a_gothgrrrl 46F  
15 posts
1/20/2015 5:37 pm

 I cammed today and was horrified by the comments I received from people given I was just sitting there in my clothes and not even playing with myself. Just wow. It's like manners fly out the windows on here.
"I could make you all go away, any time I want to"


a_gothgrrrl 46F  
15 posts
1/20/2015 5:43 pm

 Gud, I know there are other ladies like you on this site too this is kind of a way for me to allow the guys who try to approach me who don't pay to get a better idea of what I'm looking for. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but I also know there are plenty who don't mind just jumping straight into things. This is totally a means for me to deliver my two cents. and there are plenty who wno't want it
"I could make you all go away, any time I want to"


a_gothgrrrl 46F  
15 posts
1/20/2015 5:45 pm

 What's the phrase..opinions are like assholes...everyone's got one. This post is just my asshole. It's there. It's mine and you don't have to lick, I mean like it
"I could make you all go away, any time I want to"


s2ndegree 65M
9800 posts
1/20/2015 6:45 pm

 It's so hard not to be taken as an virulent piece of shit or as someone that is not pretty enough to message someone.Ya gotta be a desirable undesirable to get any attention it would seem since they are all I read about.
It's better to spare ourselves from the treatment that we had nothing to do with and assume all women like all men are the same here!Sadly!JB
Using more than all the road!


northshoretake2 50M  
1626 posts
1/20/2015 11:10 pm

 a_gothgrrrl wrote:

"Best approach drop the I want to fuck your pussy pick up lines and just say hi."

LMFAO
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


ruwithme66 57M
84 posts
1/21/2015 5:10 pm

 Great post. I feel the same way just because your on a sex site doesn't mean people don't deserve respect.


inbedagain 68M/65F

1/25/2015 9:01 am

 Great posting


MakingUcumCum 50M
Ask me for a photo
8 posts
5/30/2017 1:50 pm

 Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This subject needs to be addressed over and over again on these blogs.

I just would like to add that I don't see this site any different than when meeting people in public.

One doesn't walk up to any folks and just say, "Hi, you've got a wonderful smile, can we fuck?"

There's so much to talk about that isn't sex that I just wonder why some people have such a lousy time on AdultFriendFinder.

Talk about the weather, or anything that may be funny but make sure it's to everyone's level, except politics or religion, unless of course it's funny and not offending, such as "Did you hear what Pope Francis asked Melania Trump about Donald's last meal?" Potizza (a high-caloric desert of Slovenia and of course Melania is Slovenic.


a_gothgrrrl replies on 11/10/2018 8:47 am:
Exactly.

I mean we all know we are perverted in some way or we would have never signed up for this site. I also think there is some expectation that this is easy and all one has to say is hey, I think you're attractive let's get naked. But it just isn't that simple. Humans are complex creatures and unless we are living the simple life without the worries of the world on our back, this approach just will not work.

discreteSteve62 50M
2169 posts
4/27/2020 1:48 am

 I think a big part of it is to tune the approach to match the tone of the profile. And if there's a blog, read the blog, and consider that in tuning the profile.

Profiles like these demand different styles of first-contact messages:

1. "I want to fuck a stranger. The less I know about him, the more thrill of the mystery."

2. "I want to get to know you first. Even if we hit it off on a first date, we're probably not going to get naked. I want us to be friends too, not just there for the benefits. [A thousand more words.] Congratulations if you read all this way."

3. "I look here for love, maybe you also? I need a family-oriented person I can spend my whole life with, responsible and caring man, my support and best friend and love giving partner."

For number 1, best approach is short and to the point.

For number 2, read the thousand more words, and consider what it says before writing. Or else read to the point where something says, "no, not going to happen", and move on to the next profile. With that much material to look at, there's a good chance it will be clear whether there's a point to writing at all.

For number 3 (an actual copy and paste), it probably doesn't matter what one writes, because whoever is behind the fake profile is going to respond, and probably ask for off-site e-mail within two or three messages, and reveal the scam, whatever it is, once the e-mail is off site.

Anyway, I'm still reading your blog and profile, and I'm a bit out of your target age group, and it's kind of a moot point right now anyway because of quarantine.


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