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| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
Tattoo's - all for you . . .
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Tattoo's - all for you . . . The select few who have met me from here know that my skin is not a blank canvas. It's covered in fur, I have freckles, in some places I have scars. To me that's interesting enough - if I want to make a statement I'll buy a t-shirt with a slogan. One thing I'll never do is get a tattoo. Every now and then I come across a woman that says they particularly like a guy who is 'inked' - if you like tats that's fine but really - you'll like someone more just because they have a tattoo, any tattoo? So if someone had a swastika tattooed on one arm and a sick joke about menstrual cramps on the other you'd like him better? Maybe it's a cultural thing - your average inked guy is unlikely to become an accountant, banker or insurance salesman. These John Major types bore me to death too but I don't need to put a picture of Wolverine on my hip to set me apart. The thing is either you'll have a tattoo that is already a cliche - like some wings just above the backside, or a rose on the upper arm. Or perhaps you'll have something that's original, but you can't stop people copying you if they think it's cool. The worst, however, is the tribute tattoo. A few years ago I went to a strip club in San Francisco. A pretty blonde girl had the word Matthew tattooed on her abdomen in inch-high letters in Gothic type. When I told her what my name was she went berzerk. Thereafter a circular conversation ensued: Me: So, why have you really got the name Matthew tattooed on your belly? Stripper: Because I knew you were coming tonight Me: No, really, why have you got that there - is that your or a boyfriend? Stripper: No, it's all for you That went on for about 15 minutes. I only hope it was a nod to the Gospel rather than a guy that fucked her over in the end. |
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I'm not a fan of tattoos, I don't find them attractive. I do, however, find that the women who say they're attracted to men who are inked are up there with the women who say "I love a man in uniform, they're so sexy!". What, even the fat, ugly ones?". Such a silly thing to say, IMO. My ex is a cop, my FB is a cop, both are very good looking guys. So, of course they look sexy in their uniforms, but that doesn't mean everyone does. I'm able to contain myself while chatting with the guy working at the supermarket checkout, despite the fact he's wearing his Asda uniform  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't rule out dating someone with a tattoo. But it would definitely have to be mostly hidden, if not completely. What people are thinking when they get those "sleeve" tattoos is beyond me. I think they're horrible, and I really do fail to see the attraction myself. But, it's personal preference, and that's not one of mine. I have male friends who have tattoos, but mostly on their upper arms. As for the stripper...She reminds me of some of the guys on here that just keep saying the same bs over and over again "Jesus, I just asked a simple question, give me an honest answer already!"  And finally, you really need to see a doctor (or a vet?) about that "fur" issue  Hair, yes, fur? Are you a bit of an animal, Matt  Haha."I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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It's not got to the stage where I need to be locked up like the werewolf priests in Father Ted, but I've got enough hair on large parts of my body to the extent that it would be pointless putting a tattoo there, even if I wanted one. Yes it always makes me laugh when people say 'I love a man in a uniform' - so a gas fitter or a high court judge would turn you on as much as a Royal Marine or fireman. I've seen pics of my dad in his RAF uniform from before I was born. It makes me proud, I know he was a smart guy and worked hard to be a senior officer, despite being shy and not a natural leader of men. I don't think he was a superhero though. Much like you small tattoos don't put me off, I have dated, even slept with women that have discreet ones. If they're big it does put me off, however, I just think 'why ruin a perfectly good bit of clear skin with that?'
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I've never watched Father Ted But I'm sure you don't have to be locked up...I hope! My uncle is a retired RAF sergeant, and looked very smart in his uniform when he was younger Yeah, big, on this occasion, is definitely not better "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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