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| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
Charlie Big Potatoes - what are the most common boasts you hear?
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Charlie Big Potatoes - what are the most common boasts you hear? I'm sure you all already know about this but things are stirring in the world of motorcycles - the most famous prestige British motorbike brand, Brough Superior, has been revived and is about to produce its first bike since World War II. Brough were handmade bikes, the company never made more than 200 a year, and it had an awfully high opinion of itself, calling itself the Rolls-Royce of motorcycles in adverts. Rolls-Royce weren't too thrilled about this and sent a senior manager to their factory, presumably as precursor to slapping some kind of 'cease and desist' order on Brough. He came back to Rolls-Royce HQ and said, 'No, they are the Rolls-Royce of bikes, let them'. Vintage Brough Superiors are now the most expensive motorbikes in history, one set a world record price of £315,000 at auction a few years ago.  The Brough Superior - they talked big and backed it up completely Which brings me in a roundabout way to today's topic - the boasters. It's a regular feature of online that you'll come across people that totally hype themselves up. Sometimes the hype is a slight exaggeration on their actual abilities, sometimes they're a raving fantasist and they are a million miles away from the truth. I thought it would be fun share the most common boasts I hear with you: The skills boast - this almost always focusses on oral. 'I'll give you the best blowjob you've ever had Matt' is a line I hear from someone new every month or so. Good to know you have confidence and pride in your work - though it's not like cracking a safe or making a luxury watch, so I kind of expect you know what to suck and that your mouth doesn't miss the target, and that biting/gnawing hard are bad, not good, yes?  The adult entertainer boast - the online world is a magical place full of gingerbread houses and Willy Wonka factories, and a porn star/swimsuit model/lapdancer lives on every street because they're so common. In science they say that an extraordinary claim needs to be backed up with an extraordinary amount of evidence. Apparently I've talked to many 'porn stars' over the years however only one of them has ever shown themself on cam and talked to me on the phone. Last year she also added me on LinkedIn - that took a bit of explaining to my workmates . . . I've got a bi friend - she could join us - I must stress if we ever talk and I'm keen on you, I'm really keen on YOU and you only - I'm not using you as a stepping stone to your hot friend. So if there is ever talk of a threesome it's initiated by women I talk to who often tell me they have an experienced bi friend who might get on board with us in the future. Sometimes this is spiced up by saying how sexy she is 'She looks just like Angelina Jolie/Posh Spice Matt . . . there's a 19 year old in my office with a great rack I'd love to see you fuck her Matt', or there is wholly implausible, 'I know two bi girls who could join us, if you think you could handle it Matt'. I've probably heard this claim over 50 times, with 100% consistency in the results - i.e. it's happened 0 times. I wonder what other bold and brazen claims are floating around cyberspace never to be backed up . . . |
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Hello Boris, thanks for dropping by! I hear the 'tight pussy' line from time to time, I guess I didn't think to include it because it's a bit of a non-achievement unlike the skills. Having a tight vag is not something you really work on like 6 pack abs, unless you do several thousand kegel exercises after squeezing out a particularly big baby. Oh god this is really going to make me popular 
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