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Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
The long awaited hair blog
The long awaited hair blog A while back one of my female friends online said to me, 'Matt you're my only friend on here, you're hairy and you're funny'. I found the 'only friend' bit to be arresting as she's very popular - but as a good looking woman all she gets are chatroom droolers and people asking 'are those real?' about her breasts (they're not - fair question, but must get old when you've been asked 1000+ times). I'll let others judge if I'm funny or not but I certainly am hairy. I'd rate myself as average in most respects physically, but out of 10 guys I'll probably be the hairiest so you could describe it as a distinguishing feature. When puberty hits you that hard it's a message that your body is in control of you, rather than the other way round. I didn't even want to get hair so when it first started appearing below my belly button I shaved it off. After a few months it started getting so extensive I gave up - I sensed the King Canute quality of the situation and stopped trying to turn back the tide. It sprouted all over and now I have a permanent winter coat. If Sara Jay had a hair fetish . . . another fantasy too good to be true Reactions have always been very polarised - some women really love it, some absolutely hate it. One woman in Leicester told me she loved my hairy chest so much she'd pay to sleep with me . . . I thought, 'Jeez you need to increase your medication' . At other times I've taken my top off only to see women recoil in horror. Obviously I'd hope for a more positive reaction - but I find it hard to understand why women would be quite so repulsed by male body hair when it's a naturally occurring thing. In my head I've dismissed this by thinking 'I guess you can't handle a real man', for body hair is a manifestation of testosterone after all. I do hope women don't see body hair as a sign of aggression or lack of intelligence, they don't come much hairier than Chess Grandmaster Gary Kasparov, for example. Every now and then I get asked if I'd remove my chest hair, my answer to that is 'If you want to pay to have it waxed from now until when I die then be my guest' - once you start removing it, it's a permanent job - I have my back waxed, shave my face, shoulders and man garden - that's enough hair removal from one body in my book. I started getting my back done after a meet from here told me it put her off, in a diplomatic way. It gets itchy in the summer anyway so I thought I'd find out what it was like to be Peter Andre and became part of the waxing scene. The first waxing was pretty brutal and it hasn't become much easier since - I have a lot of respect for women that get waxed extensively. The soothing New Age music they play in the wax room makes no difference, when they rip those wax strips it hurts just the same. The pain doesn't last long, however, and I can prance around on the beach with roughly the right amount of body hair in the eyes of polite society. Anyway thanks for sticking with me - I know this is a particularly self-indulgent blog this time round. I guess the message is that male grooming is major trend and the pressure is on all of us to smooth out our 'rough edges' if we have them. My frontal rug is still intact though! I hope there are still women out there that appreciate the caveman style body and don't want to feminise a man's body until it's hairless all over - I quite like staying warm in Winter . . . |
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Everyone has particular turn on's and offs...you'll always find people equally turned on and off by your individual characteristics... but in the end we all find our equilibrium and our other halves... go out and enjoy your kinks
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Hello fired_up, thanks for dropping by. You're right we all have our preferences - I'm not mad keen on short women - they remind me of my sister too much, or really short hair - why style yourself like a schoolboy? What I'd add to that, however, is that I'm more inclined to take against 'unnatural' forms of appearance - tattoo's, inorganic hair colours - green, blue etc, or loads of piercings - as opposed to the natural - there is no right or wrong natural hair colour, eye colour or skin tone in my book anyway. I don't have any kinks - I'm an Anglican!
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Hi there KtMnDu - I guess it's a question of just how much you follow things, in spite of what you feel is the 'real you'. We all do, to an extent, follow social norms such as washing every day or brushing our teeth. I'd say I'm not a sheep right now as I don't have a trimmed beard, drink strawberry cider and wear skinny jeans
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I've dated hairy guys and smooth as a baby guys, I don't mind either to be honest. I feel for you that you have your back waxed, though, as that has got to hurt, ouch A friend of mine once recoiled in horror when she saw the lovely hairy chest of a guy I was dating at the time. No, no, it wasn't a threesome situation, Matt, get your mind out of the gutter He'd just come out the shower and had his top off. I found her reaction odd - not to mention rude, considering he was in the room at the time! To me it's quite natural and I certainly wouldn't insist on anyone shaving for the sake of 'trends'. I am not a fan of beards, though, and this whole beard phase, wth is that all about? Ugh Stay as you are, I say Minus the hairy back of course "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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I think if you get your back done, as an individual treatment, it's more than anything else - legs, armpits, fanjita . . . it's bigger than all of those so it's a pretty major operation. Yes it does hurt, especially on my left side which is a bit fucked from playing a lot of sport anyway, but the pain only lasts a few seconds. My Grandparents didn't win the War by being crybabies about temporary pain so I just suck it up like I think you should. Ultimately chest hair is a natural thing so women are evolved to be able to deal with it, and NOT be repulsed by it so your friend is entitled to her opinion but she is WRONG With regard to beards - they have made a major comeback fashionwise - you can see my previous blog and what I think of them. I know for a fact a few friends/work colleagues have grown beards to mask weak jawlines. The number 1 reason for growing beards, however, ahead of religious fundamentalism and fashion is LAZINESS. Guys grow beards most of all because they can't be bothered to shave regularly - so if you see a guy with a big long beard, don't think 'oh he's mature' or 'he's spiritual' - no he's a lazy fucker who probably doesn't wash often enough either.
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"... so I just suck it up like I think you should. " Are you insinuating I have a hairy back that needs waxed Or that I should just, in general, suck it up My idiot brother grows a really long and disgusting beard from time to time. Something to do with bulking up... Let's just say I've as much interest in his reasons for looking so hideous as I have in him as a person "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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Perhaps I should've phrased the 'suck it up' bit better - I was referring to myself I know, as a Glaswegian, you're tougher than most on here and are far less likely to complain about life's trivial setbacks, so out of all the people I talk to that kind of advice is not necessary for you I do remember you telling me that your brother is a gym rat from time to time, in marked contrast to his wife who seems to be built for comfort not speed. These 'bulking' comments are flimsy excuses, unless he's taking steroids - it's known that steroids affect the shape of the jawline and your teeth if you take them longterm - it's something track & field fans look for in suspected cheats. I do hope he's not trying to be a beefcake so hard he's pumping himself full of gear!
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