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Blogs > bipolybabe69 > "..yes I said yes I will Yes."

That sucks, Sam!  

bipolybabe69 62F
404 posts
8/12/2016 9:22 am
That sucks, Sam!

That sucks, Sam!

And not in a good way.

Apparently, I need to keep working on the same lessons.

I started this blog in January to vent my ire and disappointment, spew a little bile in the process about severing my attachment to The Unavailable Guy (TUG). One of the things I learned with TUG was about the importance of leave-taking and re-connecting. When one is not<b> monogamous </font></b>(and maybe even for<b> monogamous </font></b>couples), it matters how you take your leave from one another and reconnect when you've been apart.

Now eight months later, I scored well on the reconnecting, poorly yesterday on the leave-taking but top marks on the pop quiz about "What do you do, Babe, when you encounter a man who is 'just not ready'?"

BINGO.

Back away slowly and you won't get hurt.

After I dropped Sam (the star of my June and July visits to Bend, OR, as detailed in BendOverIn My Storage Unit 2, BendOverIn My Storage Unit, Part 1 quotBendOver I39ll drivequot, Bring heels Part 2 BendOver I39ll drive, Part 3 BendOver I'll drive, Part 4 BendOver I39ll drive, Part 5 BendOver I39ll drive , Part 6 Finally the Sex BendOver I39ll drive) in a parking lot out in the wilds of Simi Valley, where he went to visit his father, and watched his back slowly retreat, I wished I'd been able to figure out a way to more gracefully take our leave of one another. I assume we may see one another again, despite the distance between Bend, Oregon, and Santa Barbara, CA, but we've decided it makes more sense to have our visits be infrequent and shorter to avoid activating my desire for deeper attachment. (I met him in June and spent two delirious days, returned to see him in Bend in July for three nights and he visited me in SB for five nights.)

Funny example of my attachment vice: After waking him for sex at 4 am a couple days ago, I had the 1978 Walter Egan tune, "Magnet and Steel" earwormed into my brain. I found it on the tube and played it for him, terribly embarrassed at how schmaltzy is my personal musical soundtrack. For me, the song was not so much about love but how sex makes me want to be stuck to a man.

Anyway, now it's "adios" to the idea of a road trip together to Baja. That sounded like fun...as did the one to a Canadian ski village. Off limits for me. The memory still burns brightly about how spending time with a man who has declared that he's emotionally unavailable simply turns into torture for me.

But when you take leave without any time for tenderness or even one last quick fuck, it sucks! And not in a good way.

Sign me peeved,

BiPolyBabe69

Notaname99 64M  
568 posts
8/12/2016 11:05 am

 anticipation is one hell of an aphrodisiac. perhaps this one is only for once a year. the anticipation will make it even better when you do get the time to meet.
a half full glass person would see that you get to see him sometimes. a half empty would say there is probably something critically wrong anyway so i should not see him and ruin it. live somewhere in between. do not look for the flaws (if they exist they will show up) and rejoice in what you do get. it sounds like you found someone to hold onto for a while, when you can.


bipolybabe69 replies on 8/12/2016 11:18 am:
Yeah, that's kinda what he said. He thinks we can be good long-term friends. We like one another. Our bodies fit and work well together.

I imagine I will recover from my disappointment that it's not all I want RIGHT NOW.

The distance and effort to get together will make it less likely that I'll fall on his cock too often by accident, which is what happened despite my best intentions with the last unavailable guy.

wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
8/15/2016 11:14 am

 flip the record

try being emotionally unavailable for them
You cannot conceive the many without the one.


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