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| Blogs > Red_Elf > Rewriting My Life |
Requirements & Goals
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Requirements & Goals Soooo...i'm definitely single...way more so than at any other time in my adult life since I was 19...and, being so very much older, I know myself far better. Having transitioned to the guy I was with last while still married, I was able to go from a very unhealthy situation to one that was quite healthy, and I recovered much of what had been damaged because I was able to experience that.. Even though, in the end, we realized the fact that we wanted different things was pulling us apart, and I fell apart for a bit after we broke up, I am a much more whole person today because I was with him. I also learned more about what I like and I don't like. And I've learned more about what I like and don't like even since. So now I have both requirements and goals--in no particular order. Requirements: 1. Endurance: if you think anything less than 2 hours is plenty of sex, never mind. Once I get going, I'm in it for the long haul. I've been happy with less, but I am really not happy with less right now. 2. Sorry guys, but length matters for me. The Goldilocks zone is between 6 and 9.5 inches. Anything less, and it's just not going to deliver and anything more and I will definitely give it my best effort, but it's definitely challenging. 3. Regularity: Don't bother me unless you are really looking for a regular connection. I am not interested in fly by nights, although, depending, the first time may not be right enough for a repeat. 4. Attraction matters, but physical attraction just needs to meet a specific bar...the rest of attraction is intelligence and personal chemistry 5. Over the age of 32. Sorry, young guys. Usually all I get from you is inconsistency and flakiness. At the top end of that, I require 50 and under also. The problem isn't your body...it's your mind. Most of you don't vibe on the same level and it doesn't work for me. The way you treat women does NOT work for me. 6. You have to actually like feminists and strong willed, intelligent women and be ok with someone who has a healthy bullshit detector. 7. I'm great with dominance, as I am most certainly sexually submissive, but do NOT want an actual dom. 8. I like the guys who are kind to everyone, generous to a fault, are the first to jump in and help when someone is in need, and know how to be a team player without always thinking they are in charge. 9. Flexible, creative mindsets are all the rage and I like 'em. 10. No dedicated FWB or NSA men, please. If a relationship develops, I'm not interested in checking out your butt as you run away as fast as you can because you are incapable of authentic human connection. Tall order, I know...but that's how I work. Goals: 1. Regular sex with people I have fun with. 2. A relationship where I am a priority to someone I want to have as a priority in my life, too--I'm busy, though. I don't require being the center of anyone's existence. If they expect that, themselves, they will realize it's not what I am about. I like periphery. Periphery is excellent. 3. Levity 4. Camaderie 5. Mutual admiration 6. Hot, hot chemistry 7. Tolerance 8. Thoughtfulness 9. Respect What about you?   MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=} |
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Thank you for sharing. My requirements? I'm trapped. A relationship with me would be like a relationship with a condemned man who will never leave prison. I'm happy if I can find a pen pal who needs intelligent conversation.  My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.
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Awww...maybe you should read more of Dan Savage's advice on the topic.MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life . Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=}
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My sympathies about your new single-ness. It seems like that would be a real drag for someone who loves sex as much as you do, but prefers that it be with some degree of continuity. Question about the endurance requirement: fun as it is to have the occasional multi-hour sex session, is it realistic to say that it needs to be two hours for it to work for you, given that there still needs to be time in the day for sleep, work, non-sex entertainment, food, and so forth? Or do you mean that you'd rather have two or more hours per session, even if that means fewer sessions per week? When my wife and I were first together, we were at it for two or three sessions a day, and although sometimes we got it on for more than two hours, we'd need a full-time household servant if we wanted time for even two hours a day on a sustained basis. Or is the requirement more flexible than the wording suggests, so that you go two or more hours on days when you have the time, but you can make do with a one-hour quickie when that's all the time you have free in the day?
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My sympathies about your new single-ness. It seems like that would be a real drag for someone who loves sex as much as you do, but prefers that it be with some degree of continuity. Question about the endurance requirement: fun as it is to have the occasional multi-hour sex session, is it realistic to say that it needs to be two hours for it to work for you, given that there still needs to be time in the day for sleep, work, non-sex entertainment, food, and so forth? Or do you mean that you'd rather have two or more hours per session, even if that means fewer sessions per week? When my wife and I were first together, we were at it for two or three sessions a day, and although sometimes we got it on for more than two hours, we'd need a full-time household servant if we wanted time for even two hours a day on a sustained basis. Or is the requirement more flexible than the wording suggests, so that you go two or more hours on days when you have the time, but you can make do with a one-hour quickie when that's all the time you have free in the day? Most of the time it wasn't like that with the long term guy between my ex and Mr. Sweet Thing. I was okay with that. But now I realize that it really wasn't enough for me, that there was a degree of me wanting to feel wanted that was not there after a bit, and part of that was because I really did want more sex, and that I wanted him to be into doing it longer. His interest in sex was generally just lower than mine. We talked about it, but I didn't make a big deal about it, because it was a small thing at the time in the whole scheme of everything else that was right for me. He was actually a great lover when he had the energy and was ready for sex, and I would have stayed with him forever and been fine with what we had if he hadn't done what he did. It's just that now that I have to go back to the drawing board again, knowing what I know now, I want more. MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=}
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Your goals are reasonable. You're being clear and you do have a better chance at finding what you want when you articulate it. Good luck. Ted
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Sans the details about sex, what you wrote is what I hope for my daughters. They're headstrong, intelligent...everything that you are! More power to you!
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