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| Blogs > Red_Elf > Rewriting My Life |
Empirically Validated!
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Empirically Validated! So, I have been saying that my number one most important goal is to solve my inconsistent sex crisis. Ideally, that would be in a relationship with someone that is meaningful on a multitude of data points...that's the ideal. But the bottom line, folks, is solving the crisis--which is a lack of consistent sex. I've been trying to articulate why this is important to me. I realized after a few months of not having regular sex, that when I finally did get out and have a decent round of it...not the best, mind you, but something worthwhile enough to "make it all better," that I felt "myself" again. I have been having a bit of a hard time figuring out how to explain this. The best explanation I finally came up with was that I feel more grounded when I have sex regularly. It's not that I'm going crazy. It's not that I'm unbalanced without it. I just have a very strong feeling of being grounded, which is how I'm used to feeling, and I decided I had to solve this matter one way or another, because I like feeling grounded. Well, my naughty friends, I just got empirically validated! Yessiree! A researcher friend of mine posted an article from Psychology Today about the impact of having regular sex. Here's the best part: "For 21 consecutive days, adults reported on whether they had sex, the quality of their sex (intimacy, pleasure), and positive emotions, negative emotions, and sense of meaning in life. We found that having sex boosted people’s sense of well-being the next day... First, the findings were the same for men and women. Sometimes gender and sex do not matter. (A surprisingly controversial point.) Second, the findings were the same regardless of whether you were having sex with a close, intimate romantic relationship partner or a romantic relationship partner that you can barely tolerate." It's important to note that there is a point where more sex doesn't create an even greater sense of well-being. Basically, it will get you to a certain point. If you are having sex once a week, that's what gets you to this place. The one thing that didn't come into play that I would have liked to see addressed is how individuals define sex. I mean...is it sex if you hook up and he turns out to be a minute man, doesn't do anything to take care of you, and you don't really get anything out of it? How does masturbation fit in the whole scheme of things (I do it--it doesn't do the same thing for me)? Regardless, I appreciate the timing with which this bit of information found its way to me.   MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=} |
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How cool to discover this about yourself. I know that towards the end of my marriage, I was so out of touch with my body, that I wasn't even interested in masturbating. Although we were still having sex 5-6 times a week, I was not orgasming, and the fact that I was not masturbating makes me think I needed what I was suggesting, an open relationship/marriage. Instead, he said, "no, that's weird" and then went out and cheated on me. Now, I am much happier and sexually fulfilled. kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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That's a fascinating article. I'm going to find it ASAP. I bet the data they collected about "the quality of their sex" would answer your final question. Personally, I find that sex with a partner definitely boosts my sense of well-being. It does not even matter if I experience an orgasm. Masturbation may provide an orgasm which relieves some stress, but it doesn't give me that warm, fuzzy feeling of sex with a partner. My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.
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My wife and I have certainly observed this. We're almost always in a better mood the day of sex and the day after. We both start to get cranky on the uncommon occasions when we don't get a chance for five days or so. I don't have experience to test the question of whether regular sex outside the context of a relationship works similarly; when I haven't been in a relationship, sex has been just a matter of infrequent hook-ups or flings between long dry spells.
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