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Blogs > VenusRedux2 > Conversing with the Divine

The Golden Rule Fallacy  

VenusRedux2 49F
Ask me for a photo
276 posts
1/6/2018 9:26 am
The Golden Rule Fallacy



Treat others the way they want to be treated, not the way you would want to be treated.




I deserve dignity.

I deserve respect.

I deserve truth and honesty.

I deserve to be treated like an adult.

And you know something, so do you! Therefore, I have to apply the Golden Rule. "Do Unto Others..." and all that.

Women on this site are always crying about this. They keep rhetorically asking guys "How would you like to be treated like this?" To these women, I say: Wake up! Guys here ARE treating you the way they’d like to be treated. The crude IM’s and emails they’re sending… men would LOVE to hear women say that stuff to them. That’s why they’re sending them.

Hence the Golden Rule is a fallacy.

So what is man to do about this?

Guys, women aren’t here for the same reasons you are

Guys are here to get laid. I don’t say that to shame you. In fact, let’s face the reality, this is a hookup site. You’re using it for its intended purpose. So if men are here to get laid, what are women here for? More than anything else, we come here to be entertained.

So nonstop offers of sex just doesn’t do anything for us. In fact, even nonstop sex chat can only last for so long. That works for you guys, but I just can’t stay in that level of arousal for hours at a time. It gets positively exhausting. Why do you think I’m here on the blogs now instead of engaging in a steamy chat session?

Men would love to be judged on their looks (assuming the judgment is favorable)

I’m pretty sure this is why all you guys have dick pics, because to guys, being judged on their penis isn’t so bad. Men don’t find this objectifying. Hell, I’m not even sure men know what being objectified feels like. Sure, they know the definition of the term, but they don’t know the feeling associated with it.

Yes, we women invest a ton of time into our looks. And as much as we may want to be appreciated for that investment, it is a bit superficial don’t you think? This is not the best thing to try to make conversation out of.

Even for women who have sleazy pussy pics (if that sounds a little judge-y, it is meant to be), playing into her game of salivating all over her pics just makes you just one more of the idiots doing the same thing day after day. She’s set herself up as the Queen of a Thousand Subjects. Do you want to present yourself as yet another peon who will grovel at her feet? Or are you the King she desires?

I don’t want to be put on a pedestal

Women want respect, not worship. This whole idea that I am a glorious creature worthy of special praise and honor for simultaneously being alive and a woman is Disney fantasy crap.

Don't call me "Beautiful" if you haven't seen my pics. I haven't earned that title. Nor do you sound sophisticated when you insist on how you feel all women are beautiful no matter what. That's worship and I don't need it.

In fact, don't call me "sweetie" either, or "honey," or any other pet name. It sends the wrong message.

The only women that are attracted to this suffer from self-esteem issues significant enough to place them in medication level mental disorder. No sex – no matter how good – is worth the level of crazy she’ll introduce to your life. And if it is a legitimate mental disorder, this isn’t the solution to it. You are not the hero here. This will only make things worse for her.

Keep this in mind as well, women aren’t above trying to see how much crap we can spoon feed you before you say something. You might be failing a shit-test by pretending everything I do is great and wonderful.

In conclusion, instead of treating others the way you want to be treated, treat others they way they want to be treated.



Banana_Canyon 46F

5/25/2018 12:25 pm

 I find this blog bittersweet. Some things I can agree upon, others I cannot. The "I don’t want to be put on a pedestal" part is spot on accurate! I'm not a Goddess, nor do I want to be treated as such. I'm not beautiful if you have never seen my face...it's all Disney fantasy crap! What I find is that women merely want to be treated with kindness and respect. Just because we sprinkle in some aspects of sex / nudity here on the site is no reason that our heads should be blowing up and losing all stability and loss of control in the behavior that we're dealing with. We're all adults here, men and women alike, act like such.

"Women on this site are always crying about this. They keep rhetorically asking guys "How would you like to be treated like this?" To these women, I say: Wake up! Guys here ARE treating you the way they’d like to be treated. The crude IM’s and emails they’re sending… men would LOVE to hear women say that stuff to them. That’s why they’re sending them."

Sure, men love to hear this stuff because the odds are that they find this site to be porn, NOT a personals site / adult social media outlet. By that logic, when most men write to us, chances are that they are horny and stroking their cocks before they even contact us. Most women don't want to hear that stuff or want to engage in masturbation. Why? Because this site isn't porn. We're here to converse on a general level and we're goal oriented here to find what we're seeking, NOT here to senselessly waste time engaging in meaningless cyber chat with someone hundreds or thousands of miles away who contacts us. Our goal never gets met that way and in turn, all of these irrelevant emails/IM's waste us away, fogging our goals and gets us nowhere but frustrated. So yeah, that's why they're sending the perverted messages, to get their jollies off...on the other hand, women could care less about men being horny, what their sexual urges are, how good of a lover they claim to be and how big of a dick they have. That's the problem. It's apples and oranges when it comes to men and women here, generally speaking.


VenusRedux2 replies on 6/5/2018 8:08 am:
Sorry, only just noticed this here now, wasn't ignoring you.

You make a good point about men already stroking themselves before they've contacted us. I've written about that in the past (years ago), and have considered revisiting the subject.

Women can FEEL it when guys are doing this. It always manifests itself the same way, the conversation isn't organic, it isn't progressing in a natural and comfortable way ... it is unnaturally getting forced back into graphic sex chat.

This is probably a heavier topic for the audience of this site, but I seriously question society in general on this issue. Boys aren't being taught how to talk to girls. Sure, they know how to nominally be polite (say "please" and "thank you"), but verbal platitudes alone do not a gentleman make. Beyond that, the extent of their social education tends to be in the form of negatives ("don't do this" and "don't do that"). So they know what not to do, but not what they should be doing. Those socially stunted boys grow up to be socially stunted men.

I lament that we live in a society where men don't know how to be men, what it means to be a man.

I'm not talking simply about topics of conversation, but general demeanor and attitude. What does a respectful tone mean and look like? We now have at least two distinct generations of men who simply don't know (the ones that grew up in this digital age). If they get overly respectful, the conversation is bland and goes nowhere. If they get too pushy, women shut the conversation down. This is the social education boys are supposed to figure out on playgrounds. But there are no more playgrounds. There is no actual face-to-face interaction anymore. The digital world has made everyone more isolated, and social skills don't get learned.

Though ultimately everyone has to take responsibility for their own lives, men didn't arrive in their state by themselves. I can point some fingers, there's plenty of blame to go around.

Wow, that was a heck of a rant wasn't it? Probably belongs as its own post.

Banana_Canyon 46F

5/25/2018 12:07 pm
    Quoting  :
BiggLala said it perfectly here when she said that women just want respect here, not worship. I don't want to be put on a pedestal and made out to be this larger than life Godly figure, I simply want to be treated as an ordinary human being of society and to be on the same level with someone. This is what the problem is here...men make up this fairy tale fantasy scene in their own little minds that isn't realistic, and then when I respectfully bring that person down to reality in a polite manner, they get mad at me, end up completely ignoring/blocking me or retaliate childishly with the attempt of table-turning tactics that don't work....all because I am an average everyday human being who doesn't live up to their imaginary glorified porn star or painted mental picture that they dream up which never comes true because it's not realistic, nor is it what we ever describe it to be on profiles. We deal with various factors, social ignorance being the number one factor which is killing us here.

BiggLala, you nailed it with this comment! Spot on accurate!


RONiboy1 70M

3/5/2018 8:28 am

 You hit the nail right on the head. I try to stay away from the "vulgarity" lines. But using the casual conversation doesn't seem to be working, either. I try to be a gentleman. But just getting a response to an IM is quite difficult no matter how I approach it. But as I am a true believer that miracles do happen, I keep plugging a way. Maybe something good will come of it. Maybe not.


VenusRedux2 replies on 3/9/2018 2:38 pm:
The balance between vulgarity and blandness is to try to make her laugh. Aim for being witty. Doesn't have to be laugh out loud funny, but a clever turn of phrase every once in a while will progress the conversation to where you want it to go.

notsure1949 75M
10657 posts
1/6/2018 4:46 pm

 golden rule should always be observed


VenusRedux2 replies on 1/8/2018 5:08 am:
I guess you read the title and nothing else. Thanks for stopping by.

VenusRedux2 49F
Ask me for a photo
557 posts
1/6/2018 9:34 am

 Strangely enough, I don't know who should read this more ... men who need some help here, or women who keep whining and complaining.


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