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Mileage varies. Every person is different. There are as many ways of conducting a healthy relationship as there are healthy relationships. That said, I'm in an open marriage, and I generally steer clear of polyvangelizing open marriage types. As a rule, I've found them amongst the least self-aware and most selfish people I've ever met, often peddling their philosophy as a rationalization to keep things shallow, and if you don't agree with them, it's because you're not sufficiently "evolved." Mileage varies. Every person is different. There are as many ways of conducting a healthy relationship as there are healthy relationships. I also balk at any talk of "rules" or "boundaries." and the need to label and dissect relationships - "she's my nesting partner, you're my secondary. I also have play partners and a constellation of tertiaries." To me, it all reads too much as controlling and categorizing and pigeonholing, and none of that leaves much room for allowing things to happen naturally and accepting a situation as it is. The minute you start drawing borders around what you're allowed to feel, you're avoiding reality and trying to control things that can't be controlled. That's symptomatic of something very unhealthy, IMO. My story is all over my blog, but the nutshell version is this: I married my best friend, and we don't have much chemistry. He let all of that be my problem, until he found out I was considering stepping out. I'd fallen So! Hard! for the guy I intended to cheat with, and my husband knew that. He loved me enough to recognize that honestly (he srsly shows me how this is done). He encouraged me to pursue that guy - but only after we'd had enough time to process everything. It took a year before I was willing to date - until we were ready to approach an open marriage as a collaboration and not as a collection of rules. The only "rules" we have are to we play safe, and to be honest with each other about how we feel about our partners/relationships. Because of the trust we share, family/kids ALWAYs come first: security is a byproduct of our trust, and not the other way around. Mileage varies. Every person is different. There are as many ways of conducting a healthy relationship as there are healthy relationships.
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I should also add that the only thing that matters, as far as you're concerned, is whether or not you can find happiness in all of this. I don't like dating single guys because the connection I seek ends up mindfucking the guys who also want that connection but can't deal with limitations. That's not fair to them, so I simply don't put anyone through it anymore. But it's different when the goals are different. Are you OK with being a "play partner" / having a "play partner?" Great! Enjoy the ride! But don't think for one minute that you're engaging in something that has the possibility to evolve any farther than it already has. And if it doesn't evolve, enjoy the hell out of what you've already experienced 
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