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japaneseass 56F  
50231 posts
7/8/2021 6:02 pm

i don't know...from my experience, in my honest opinion, i don't think it's a race thing...i had the similar experiences, with all kind of race, not just White/Caucasian. It's men in general...oh wait...that ain't right to label "Men" like that...so let me go deeper, i think it depends of the individuals...some just ghost and never be bothered...just sayin...


Brownie202 67F  
2680 posts
7/8/2021 6:21 pm

I am sure there is some white men who don't want you because of being a fetish to them. Not to take it off their bucket list or whatever. As far as getting called awful names I get what you mean. Has happened to me for various reasons. Not wanting younger men is one reason. Another is because I am not meeting anybody at this time. Loosers they are. Real men don't need to resort to calling women names. A few even without being turned down called me names. They read my profile and saw I don't want younger. Boys not men do that. It's like they think having a dick makes them a man.

Humans are the most dangerous animals on earth.

If only animals had the ability to know when to keep away from us humans they would be better off.


Micmur16 29M
11 posts
7/8/2021 7:45 pm

I know what you mean. Some "men" are complete assholes and it makes me sad that they are often the only ones that women have encounters with. Weather it has to do with race or not, only boys act like that


nsnguystill 71M
428 posts
7/8/2021 7:53 pm

a man will never belittle a woman for refusing him. if he really wants you, he will find a way to win you.
a child will throw a tantrum, and curse you out till his head implodes.
a confident man will measure his relationships by quality. a spineless wimp, will measure his worth by quantity
a confident man will make you feel good about you. a worthless man will make you feel empty.
all the above men come in all shapes, colors, and sizes.
but yes i do understand what you mean. after all if one keeps banging their hear on brick walls... eventually they develop a fear of bricks.

there is a world of difference between insane and stupid


bdsmDOMdaddy 61M
212 posts
7/8/2021 7:54 pm

w any race there are those that trophy seek & those that seek for something meaningful
those who are selfish close minded & those who are genuine sincere open minded
those who are uneducated lazy loafer freeloaders & those who are educated accountable responsible
those who use abuse & those who nurture protect
those w many baby mommas & those w only 1 baby momma
those that lie cheat deceitful & those who are truthful honest loyal
those who won’t be around in the morning & those who will be there every morning
color of skin doesn’t determine faults but their character content & actions do
w any race there are both dirty dog losers & good loving men
I’m into ebony & ivory but there are cultural difficulties along w race biased troubles from both sides strangers friends & family to cross which make it difficult to handle & succeed!


NapTownDave 68M  
155 posts
7/8/2021 8:10 pm

Sounds like you have run into a lot of shallow guys, which is a shame. I've had white and black girlfriends and it's all about what's inside that matters. I personally get a lot of pleasure from simply pleasing my partner- and you get as good as you give with the right person. I can't imagine it any other way- and it's sad to hear so many men are that way.


popeye101978 45M  
14 posts
7/8/2021 8:22 pm

Two reframes:
1) Name-calling is sometimes a "cover" for insecurities
2) Of the guys that have ghosted you, is there any pattern to their actions and/or how they have answered a certain question? Is it normally they approaching you? (rhetorical questions)


jajo696 113F
4287 posts
7/8/2021 8:44 pm

I havent even read your entry but my answer is YES ! Most def yes. For some...they want the experience of.....not the experience with. They think that having a diff skin color..ethnicity....or heritage ..makes the entire event different...and they just gotta try it.
Its just like those that advertise that they have or they want a bbc. Id like to know whats the diff....a big cock is a big cock, i would think. Ugh @ it all.
Try being a bbw and with brown skin...oh Lord...they come outta the woodwork...no crawl out they do...creepy crawlies...lol.
Its such a chore trying to unpack it all. Now..i will read....lol. Just had to rant/vent !! Thanks


partygald 41F
1963 posts
7/8/2021 9:48 pm

As much as I hate to admit it, douchebags are douchebags. White, black, Asian, Latino, and everything in between. Same way as nice guys, will be nice guys. Sometimes I think it’s about timing too. When you’re catching them in their lives. Douchebags can go through life being douchebags, or some of them turn out being nice after awhile. Not this, is coming from and Asian girl. Nothing says link more than interracial dating like dating an Asian girl so…😝. It’s tiring having to go through so many douches. Maybe try looking in a different pool? Sorry. That’s the best I got. But please be careful, and I really wish you luck 😊


DiscreteSlowRide 53M
384 posts
7/9/2021 7:53 am

You know...I think most guys in general basically suck. However, that's what makes the good ones worth holding on to.

Being a white male who has had a few experiences with women of different nationalities, personally I never looked at a black woman I had interest in as a conquest. Granted the first black woman, or the first Asian woman was new territory for me but they were not items I checked off my bucket list or anything like that. Granted there was "newness" to the first experience but that's about as far as I would go. Our skin colors never ever came up in conversation. I didn't feel the need to bring it up and nor did she. At the end of the day we were just a man and a woman who liked each other.

I think also what you are experiencing with asshole men who happen to be white men, is the same thing most women experience with men as far as not calling after you sleep with them or they do the "circle back" 6 months later. Do Black or Latino men always call the next morning??

As for the inappropriate way white males approach you. I blame that on a lack of manners and lack of proper socializing by their parents. Their parents raised "their best friends", not kids they wanted to raise properly or teach right and wrong to. Anyway...that's another discussion.


didntsowoats 61M
124 posts
7/9/2021 9:56 am

I think its a slippery slope to paint any group of people with a broad brush. Some good some dicks. Wish I had a Twizzler now to contemplate.


DiscreteSlowRide 53M
384 posts
7/9/2021 10:24 pm

Has there been a oarticular type of white guy that you have been drawn to?


DiscreteSlowRide 53M
384 posts
7/11/2021 10:37 am

In response to LALA...
My responses start where I inserted ...(DISCRETE)...

(LALA)
At the end of the day we were just a man and a woman who liked each other.
-I want to jump in on the discussion after reading this portion, as you related it to this, "...there was "newness" to the first experience." I'm curious to what do you think led to the feeling of "newness"? What prohibited you from just being a man and a woman who liked each other at the beginning of the day? I'm going to guess you didn't feel that same sense "newness" the first time you were with a white woman. Yes?
 
(DISCRETE)
Wrong. Very wrong.
We are getting too literal if we are talking about the beginning of the day, the end of the day...However you want to look at it, we were two people who liked each other. Her skin color didn't cause me to hesitate, apparently my color did not cause her to hesitate. We just connected, we liked each other and it went from there.

(LALA)
I'm going to guess you didn't feel that same sense "newness" the first time you were with a white woman. Yes?
(DISCRETE)
Wrong! The first time I was with a white woman I was a 16 years old virgin. It does not get much newer than that.
I felt newness the first time I was with every partner I have ever been with. White, black, Asian... All felt new the first time I got close to them and became intimate.

The other part I mentioned about newness is this and it should not be overlooked.........Granted there was "newness" to the first experience but that's about as far as I would go. Our skin colors never ever came up in conversation. I didn't feel the need to bring it up and nor did she. At the end of the day we were just a man and a woman who liked each other.

I can't speak for other men but speaking only for myself, there is newness, the first time with any woman, I don't care what her color or nationality is. The first kiss is new, the first time the two of you are in a private setting, is new. The first time you both step in close to hold each other is new. it doesn't matter how many dozens or hundreds of people one has been with, those "firsts" are all new with that individual.

(LALA)
Based on my own personal experiences, I think what you said is what Miss TBC refers to, and what many black women experience when dating white men. The majority of the time (especially online, like on this site) white men approach me with "do you like white men?", "I've never been with a black woman, but always wanted to be", or "maybe you can teach me a few things" (that last one was what a guy actually said). Yes, we all feel a "newness" when with a new PERSON, and I think that is THE point...approach black women as a PERSON. Black women aren't mythical creatures with innate sexual knowledge. Just like every person on the planet, we gain our sexual knowledge from experiences we have. So, yes, it seems we become sexual fetishes to most white men, rather than just women in whom they're interested.

(LALA)
As you quoted, TBC's point... "TBC refers to, and what many black women experience when dating white men. The majority of the time (especially online, like on this site) white men approach me with "do you like white men?", "I've never been with a black woman, but always wanted to be", or "maybe you can teach me a few things"I never said anything remotely close to this.

(DISCRETE)
I never asked her to teach me anything and I even said the follow in my post... skin color never ever came up in conversation between her and myself.

(LALA)
Plus, as Miss Jajo said, add being a larger woman (or some other non-"normal" category) to that and you're doubly (or more) fetishized.

(DISCRETE)
Isn't being attracted to larger women just simply an attraction?? Why is it a fetish if some men are very attracted to larger women? It seems it is just a preference.


DiscreteSlowRide 53M
384 posts
7/15/2021 9:26 am

In response to LALA...
...Secondly, you said in your first comment, "Granted the first black woman, or the first Asian woman was new territory for me but they were not items I checked off my bucket list or anything like that," and you went on to mention that feeling of "newness". Remember, I acknowledged that everyone feels a "newness" when with a NEW person. Thus, given that you noted that your first experiences with a black and Asian woman was new territory for you, I wondered why that was. That is all.

(DISCRETE)
My mistake. I misread your tone which is so easily lost in text/email when two people are not that familiar with each other. My apologies.

To answer your question...
I think so much is new when you are 17 years old. I guess with the Asian woman, I was just adjusting to sex and everything that comes with exploration and becoming familiar with a woman in general.
I met the black woman when I was ...maybe 25 and there was hesitation because I was her boss. So, I tried to resist crossing the employee/boss line. The newness in general was between both woman, I noticed when I touched them their skin texture felt different. Not in a negative way it was just something I noticed.
I still notice to this day, no two woman have the same skin texture. But an Asian woman's skin feel different than a black woman's who feels different than a white woman's skin texture.
It's all good things, it's just subtle differences.


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
8/9/2021 9:45 am

Excellent post McToke! I read it a while back but didn't get the chance to respond back then, which is perhaps just as well, because I had a veritable tome lined up.......

I find this kind of casual racism as bad as the more direct racially motivated attacks that are occasionally splashed across the various media. As a privileged white male, I can only imagine what it must be like to be in your position, and I can only apologise on behalf of those fuck-witted idiots who make you feel the need to stay in your own lane. That's just fucking sad!


Timleo3 47M

8/21/2021 2:33 pm

A lot of ppl say the same about me. That it was a a phase. That was 29 years ago. My daughter will not date a black man because being biracial she finds white men are less about themselves as individuals and more about themselves as a couple. She wants to feel like a woman.. I will not date white women. A man wants to feel like a man. A white woman. Disclaimer I can only speak from my experience, will manipulate there is always a agenda 1 2 & 3. They have even used sex like the carrot and stick. They get what they want you get sex. In my experience a real woman builds life with her man side by side with shared goals, grit and integrity, romance and passion. A real woman could be mad as hell at him and still be his lover. Barring infidelity.


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