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| Blogs > SilyconBond > I'm a dumpster fire |
I became a drug dealer and scammed a little old lady today.
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I became a drug dealer and scammed a little old lady today. Yes, I expect any moment the police come knocking on my door. After all, what I did was pretty much illegal. The backstory, after my fiasco this morning. I had a headache. So I went to my local pharmacy to get some aspirin. school here, it works for me and is $4 a bottle. I have this little lady that lives on my street, we will her Nancy…because it's her name. She was there also, wearing her mask, and arguing with the pharmacist that she needed 30 pills of the Claritin D 24 hour, not the 18 they are allowed her. Being the crazy man that I am. I stepped up top the counter and told her I would buy another 18 for her, and we could exchange cash and drugs outside, away from cameras. Keep in mind I know this woman and have for years. She is a very sweet lady, that walks her around the neighborhood every night. She doesn’t have a job, and who would at 88. Unlike her…I’m pretty evil. So I bought the drugs, and went outside…. She was waiting next to her car. I didn’t suspect an ambush, but I was checking the area. I hid the drugs under my T-shirt, just in case. “Show me the , and I’ll show you the merch,” I said in my best drug dealing tone. She laughed at me and got out three crisp ten-dollar bills. “That all you got? This is good stuff. First cut.” I said. She looked worried oi I changed tact.. “If that’s all you got, I guess I’ll have to give you some change back, but I’ll take my cut off the top.” “What’s that mean?” She asked. “You got change for a five?” I asked and pulled out my wallet. I had about thirty dollars myself in fives and ones. Unbeknownst to her, I had worked as a cashier in my teens and later as a bank teller. I had a lot of experience with short change artists. I picked up a few tricks. The first mistake, she dug in her purse. Distraction, I took the from her hand, and while she is digging, I’m replacing tens with ones, and fives and she gets more confused the more I exchange with her. Then, I used the drugs themselves hinder her. Placing them on her other hand, the one without the purse. In the end, I was left with just three one-dollar bills in my wallet, but she had thought she had exchanged her tens when all I did was stack them on the return I gave her, I eventually shoved all the cash into her purse because her hands were full. Then make a big show of keeping it on the down-low. I know…it was stupid..the whole act. In the end, she was $27 richer and had her drugs. I was out $53, or was I? It made me feel good, giving a little charity to her. She called me later… I lied to her about having the $30 she gave me. Not my first lie for the greater good. She shouldn’t have to suffer for these stupid restrictions, and they are stupid. |
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Yes, I expect any moment the police to come knocking on my door. After all, what I did was pretty much illegal. The backstory, after my fiasco this morning. I had a headache. So I went to my local pharmacy to get some aspirin. Old school here, it works for me and is $4 a bottle. I have this little old lady that lives on my street, we will call her Nancy…because it's her name. She was there also, wearing her mask, and arguing with the pharmacist that she needed 30 pills of the Claritin D 24 hour, not the 18 they are allowed to sell her. Being the crazy man that I am. I stepped up top the counter and told her I would buy another 18 for her, and we could exchange cash and drugs outside, away from cameras. Keep in mind I know this woman and have for years. She is a very sweet lady, that walks her dog around the neighborhood every night. She doesn’t have a job, and who would at 88. Unlike her…I’m pretty evil. So I bought the drugs, and went outside…. She was waiting next to her car. I didn’t suspect an ambush, but I was checking the area. I hid the drugs under my T-shirt, just in case. “Show me the money, and I’ll show you the merch,” I said in my best drug dealing tone. She laughed at me and got out three crisp ten-dollar bills. “That all you got? This is good stuff. First cut.” I said. She looked worried oi I changed tact.. “If that’s all you got, I guess I’ll have to give you some change back, but I’ll take my cut off the top.” “What’s that mean?” She asked. “You got change for a five?” I asked and pulled out my wallet. I had about thirty dollars myself in fives and ones. Unbeknownst to her, I had worked as a cashier in my teens and later as a bank teller. I had a lot of experience with short change artists. I picked up a few tricks. The first mistake, she dug in her purse. Distraction, I took the money from her hand, and while she is digging, I’m replacing tens with ones, and fives and she gets more confused the more I exchange money with her. Then, I used the drugs themselves to hinder her. Placing them on her other hand, the one without the purse. In the end, I was left with just three one-dollar bills in my wallet, but she had thought she had exchanged her tens when all I did was stack them on the return money I gave her, I eventually shoved all the cash into her purse because her hands were full. Then make a big show of keeping it on the down-low. I know…it was stupid..the whole act. In the end, she was $27 richer and had her drugs. I was out $53, or was I? It made me feel good, giving a little charity to her. She called me later… I lied to her about having the $30 she gave me. Not my first lie for the greater good. She shouldn’t have to suffer for these stupid restrictions, and they are stupid.
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Sooooo... I didn't know you are a self employed drug dealer and con artist...perfect...  but hey...you are obviously good at it...good to hear you helped the old lady...she probably needed that... 
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Now THAT was a con to be proud of! If you get caught, I'll start a blog fund for bail for ya. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Good for you for dealing drugs and scamming a little old lady! Wait....that sounds wrong....  Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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7/18/2020 7:57 pm |
Thank you for being the Good Samaritan!
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7/18/2020 9:08 pm |
YEP, I hear the black helicopters now, u go'in down bud........ Pay it forward, never look back..... Great!
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I dont see anything wrong here ! hmmm
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7/19/2020 1:31 am |
drug dealers an scammers with morals! just what the world needs more off. p.s feel good stories always ,make me smile there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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I once helped an old lady to cross the road - she didn't want to go, but it made me feel good.
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I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too......
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