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| Blogs > SilyconBond > I'm a dumpster fire |
Eye Contact and Hello.
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Eye Contact and Hello. I love my engineers, but some of them are so Beta type it annoys me. The biggest problem I had with them today is upon the first contact is EYE CONTACT followed by a “Hello.” My guys have the worst social skills. A few of them get better, and a few of them believe they are so valuable they don’t need the training. I honestly believe social skills are more important than all the technical training my guys have had. My company has lost millions from engineers not having good social skills and that is just from the region I work in. I’m sure it is worse at busier sites. In a meeting today, and one of my guys has to give an explanation and…he stared at the wall instead of the attendees as he talked…then didn’t look up from his laptop…and worse, turned his whole body away from the rest of the group as he talked. Ugh, I just wanted to throw my cell at him. I’ve coached about forty or so about their meeting skills. When my customer looks at me and points to my “guy”, I am fully aware of what I have to do later. I hate being the “teacher” when big money is on the line. It's the same when meeting someone new, those same guys will freeze up when I introduce them to other people around us. I just don’t get it. The same guy, an hour later, just nods his head as I introduce him and scrunches his shoulders like he is being beaten. Some of the guys I have been with for years look to be in a panic when I introduce someone new. Doesn’t matter the gender I am introducing them to. This brings me to what I did right that Saturday night a couple weeks ago and caused me several weeks of drama. I was dragged from a garage by an Amazonian security guard and witnessed a woman in a bathrobe giving a reprimand to another security guard in the entryway of the mansion. Her temper was a little on the high side, and inwardly I recognized the same level from my own work interactions. I don’t know how everyone else does it, but me, I operate from my own frame of reference. The need to find the underwater issues is hard and can wait until feelings are cooled. I matched her temperament, but not her words with my own “escort”. “Why didn’t you tell me I was getting into a car with this charming woman? I would have run here. Jeeze!” I said louder than her, not remembering what she said to the other guard. First, she was older than me, but not by much that I could tell. A few inches shorter, black hair. I took a step towards her and pulled her pointing finger down into both my hands. “Hello,” I said, and I smiled. My fucking mask hid the smile, but I put my whole face into the effort. I let go of her hand after a second or two as I looked into her eyes. I didn’t say it, but I thought, “You’re beautiful.”, and really, she was. I could see her face relax, and I waited. Nothing else. The guards were talking to each other and the robed clad woman then motioned me to the waiting car with a driver that was wearing blue jeans and a white T-shirt, opening the back door nearest us. I was hoping for a limousine or Rolls, after being in a garage that had both and several other exotic cars. Instead, we got into an ’80s or 90’s Cadillac. It was very roomy in the back seat though. I found out later it was her favorite car. I was confused about the driver not having a uniform, but Amazon that got into the front passenger seat was wearing a black suit. (More about her later…she was as intimidating as fuck, this coming from a guy who was surrounded by intimidating people when I was in the military. I would have wagered my paycheck she could have taken any one of the guys in my entire company.) Anyway, we got in the car. I was confused about going in the car in the first place since I was told we would be taking a shuttle bus from the house to the marina. Unlike my car, there were ten buttons/switches on my handrest. No pictures of what they were for…so I tried each one. One switch raised a darkened thick glass between us and the front seat. Four did the music. An intercom, etc. The very last one actually raised and lowered my window. “So, you’re a mechanic?” She asked after she heard me laugh as I raised and lowered the glass window. “Engineer. I build stuff.” I said absently, turned towards her and her boob was hanging out of her robe. She watched my face, and I tried not to look at the boob specifically, but I’m freaking male. Her smile got wider and wider with lots of teeth. I looked directly into her eyes with every fiber of my being. “You can take off your silly mask. I don’t require one around me.” She said almost as if demanding I take it off. “I don’t think I have ever seen a man wearing a rainbow jaguar mask before.” She said. “It’s a rainbow leopard. At least the package said that but it was made in China, so you are probably right. They misspell a lot of English words.” I said. “Why on earth are you wearing such a gaudy childish thing?” She asked. “My date wouldn’t let me wear my Bugs Bunny tie to this party, so this was a compromise. Black tie affair and all that. You are not quite dressed as I expected.” I said playfully. “My fucking party, besides both of us are probably overdressed at this point.” She said laughing. “I am?” I asked confused. She raised the dark glass between us and the front seat. “Oh yes…” She purred, then she giggled. “Are we going swimming or…something?” I asked. She undid her robe, letting it fall off her shoulders. I had just met this sexy woman a few minutes ago. It would take pages to describe what she did to me next for the rest of the time in the car. It happened. So to get back to my original point. After a week on the water, I asked her “Why she did what she did in the car?” Her response, “You had me at hello, and then didn’t<b> fuck </font></b>it up.” |
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Eye Contact and Hello. I love my engineers, but some of them are so Beta type it annoys me. The biggest problem I had with them today is upon the first contact is EYE CONTACT followed by a “Hello.” My guys have the worst social skills. A few of them get better, and a few of them believe they are so valuable they don’t need the training. I honestly believe social skills are more important than all the technical training my guys have had. My company has lost millions from engineers not having good social skills and that is just from the region I work in. I’m sure it is worse at busier sites. In a meeting today, and one of my guys has to give an explanation and…he stared at the wall instead of the attendees as he talked…then didn’t look up from his laptop…and worse, turned his whole body away from the rest of the group as he talked. Ugh, I just wanted to throw my cell at him. I’ve coached about forty or so about their meeting skills. When my customer looks at me and points to my “guy”, I am fully aware of what I have to do later. I hate being the “teacher” when big money is on the line. It's the same when meeting someone new, those same guys will freeze up when I introduce them to other people around us. I just don’t get it. The same guy, an hour later, just nods his head as I introduce him and scrunches his shoulders like he is being beaten. Some of the guys I have been with for years look to be in a panic when I introduce someone new. Doesn’t matter the gender I am introducing them to. This brings me to what I did right that Saturday night a couple weeks ago and caused me several weeks of drama. I was dragged from a garage by an Amazonian security guard and witnessed a woman in a bathrobe giving a reprimand to another security guard in the entryway of the mansion. Her temper was a little on the high side, and inwardly I recognized the same level from my own work interactions. I don’t know how everyone else does it, but me, I operate from my own frame of reference. The need to find the underwater issues is hard and can wait until feelings are cooled. I matched her temperament, but not her words with my own “escort”. “Why didn’t you tell me I was getting into a car with this charming woman? I would have run here. Jeeze!” I said louder than her, not remembering what she said to the other guard. First, she was older than me, but not by much that I could tell. A few inches shorter, black hair. I took a step towards her and pulled her pointing finger down into both my hands. “Hello,” I said, and I smiled. My fucking mask hid the smile, but I put my whole face into the effort. I let go of her hand after a second or two as I looked into her eyes. I didn’t say it, but I thought, “You’re beautiful.”, and really, she was. I could see her face relax, and I waited. Nothing else. The guards were talking to each other and the robed clad woman then motioned me to the waiting car with a driver that was wearing blue jeans and a white T-shirt, opening the back door nearest us. I was hoping for a limousine or Rolls, after being in a garage that had both and several other exotic cars. Instead, we got into an ’80s or 90’s Cadillac. It was very roomy in the back seat though. I found out later it was her favorite car. I was confused about the driver not having a uniform, but Amazon that got into the front passenger seat was wearing a black suit. (More about her later…she was as intimidating as fuck, this coming from a guy who was surrounded by intimidating people when I was in the military. I would have wagered my paycheck she could have taken any one of the guys in my entire company.) Anyway, we got in the car. I was confused about going in the car in the first place since I was told we would be taking a shuttle bus from the house to the marina. Unlike my car, there were ten buttons/switches on my handrest. No pictures of what they were for…so I tried each one. One switch raised a darkened thick glass between us and the front seat. Four did the music. An intercom, etc. The very last one actually raised and lowered my window. “So, you’re a mechanic?” She asked after she heard me laugh as I raised and lowered the glass window. “Engineer. I build stuff.” I said absently, turned towards her and her boob was hanging out of her robe. She watched my face, and I tried not to look at the boob specifically, but I’m freaking male. Her smile got wider and wider with lots of teeth. I looked directly into her eyes with every fiber of my being. “You can take off your silly mask. I don’t require one around me.” She said almost as if demanding I take it off. “I don’t think I have ever seen a man wearing a rainbow jaguar mask before.” She said. “It’s a rainbow leopard. At least the package said that but it was made in China, so you are probably right. They misspell a lot of English words.” I said. “Why on earth are you wearing such a gaudy childish thing?” She asked. “My date wouldn’t let me wear my Bugs Bunny tie to this party, so this was a compromise. Black tie affair and all that. You are not quite dressed as I expected.” I said playfully. “My fucking party, besides both of us are probably overdressed at this point.” She said laughing. “I am?” I asked confused. She raised the dark glass between us and the front seat. “Oh yes…” She purred, then she giggled. “Are we going swimming or…something?” I asked. She undid her robe, letting it fall off her shoulders. I had just met this sexy woman a few minutes ago. It would take pages to describe what she did to me next for the rest of the time in the car. It happened. So to get back to my original point. After a week on the water, I asked her “Why she did what she did in the car?” Her response, “You had me at hello, and then didn’t fuck it up.”
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In my experience, most tech people have an uncomfortable relationship with presenting themselves........I personally have struggled with, but overcome successfully, performance anxiety throughout my working life. It is what it is.
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