Getting to a happy medium
|
Posted:Jan 7, 2014 9:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2015 5:26 am
8369 Views
|
I saw Doogie today; first time since November. I thought I was wasting time seeing him as I really didn't think I had much to say. Apparently I was very wrong. I started talking before I sat down and didn't stop until he told me it was ten after the hour. I have an appointment in two weeks. Only reason it's not next week is because I am traveling for work. I hadn't realized how stressed and unhappy I really am. I cried. Really cried. Not the sobbing kind of cry but cried. I rarely cry. I am now at the fake it till you make it stage. It has worked for me in the past. If I act like everything is okay and pretend life is fantastic and that I don't want to scream or punch everyone I come in contact with then it will be the norm for me. I am looking forward to my travel time just to have some alone time. I have not had much with M moving back home. The house is constant chaos. I don't like chaos.
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Odd place
|
Posted:Jan 5, 2014 2:39 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2014 11:24 pm
8265 Views
|
Not sure if it is new year blues or what but I can't shake this odd feeling I have. I have not been very excited about much of anything. My motivation is about zero. Yesterday I had to force myself to go do the things I needed to get done and not break the plans I had. Maybe it is the winter time blues; January in Alaska tends to do that. Maybe going to Juneau next week will help although that is still in Alaska just not as dark.
M is now sick, so heartbroken and sick. Quite the combo. Apparently the bf decided he did not want to live in the big city of Anchorage. They are still a couple just living 150 some odd miles apart as they have for the last couple of years.
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
My heart hurts for her
|
Posted:Jan 2, 2014 9:46 pm
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2014 1:58 pm
8323 Views
|
My M was set to sign a lease and move in with her boyfriend TODAY. I wasn't thrilled about this move. She's 19-too young to live with a boyfriend. He took care of that for me today; he told her he did not want to move to Anchorage. Nothing like last minute. Very last minute. She is devastated. She is not speaking at the moment, I don't know what to do. She does not talk about feelings, she does not hug, she does not cry. Being the mother of a girl is rough, being the mother of an autistic girl is really rough, being a mother of an autistic girl with a broken heart is heart breaking.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Happy Post
|
Posted:Dec 31, 2013 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2014 5:36 am
8707 Views
|
I spend a lot of time on here bitching about the things that annoy me. Today I will write about the things in my life that are actually good. My nephew is home on leave and called me today while I was working to see if I wanted to grab coffee. He is 23, I see him twice a year, I put what I was doing aside and met him for coffee. We later had a couple of beers but the awesome part was we talked. I have an amazing . I don't really need to go into it but she is pretty cool. I make great money; I do not live pay check to pay check and I am pretty sure I won't need to work until I die. Not bad for a mom. I have this that makes me laugh on a daily basis. While I did contemplate beating him a couple of times this weekend over eaten socks, I do adore this dog. I have met and dated amazing people! I tend to write about the odd and bad dates. I should write more about the good ones. It happens that I am still single because I have not found the perfect one for me not because there are not awesome people out there.
I am not making resolutions for 2014 because I don't stick with them something about commitment. Instead I will wake up tomorrow thankful for the new day and the added seconds of sunlight we are getting. Happy New Year!
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Lurking and lying
|
Posted:Dec 29, 2013 2:03 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 10:46 pm
8200 Views
|
I asked someone a few weeks ago about a handle name on here I was sure was them. He said no, why would I be on there? Was adamant it was not him to the point of saying I can tell you don't believe me. At the time I actually felt bad that I questioned it; I was starting to think I was getting so jaded I didn't believe anything. Turns out I was right. I know my instincts. They have never let me down. I have not listened and payed the price. In this case I am not angry just annoyed because I don't see why it would have been a big deal. Why not just say it was him? In the meantime he has been following my blog faithfully. He has commented on it when he feels justified to do so. I know I follow blogs of people and don't often comment on them unless there is something that touches a chord, the biggest difference is I don't know these people intimately. I only know them through their writings and I actually follow the blog. This person visits my profile and views my blog. I am not sure why I am giving it much thought other than at this minute I am thinking of it.
I had a second date this morning! While I am in no way ready to reveal the person I would like to say there has been no sex. They have been actual normal dates. He is a decent guy. No red flags, very polite, educated and articulate. He is nice to other people, sarcastic when it is appropriate, seems to get that I am a little quirky. I like the pace we are going, it's nice to not rush.
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
I am Karma's bitch
|
Posted:Dec 28, 2013 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2013 2:27 pm
8319 Views
|
I posted a picture on the FB page of the new hair color I did today and one of my friends just sent me a message asking what I was doing. I was reading the news because I'm boring like that. Now lets keep in mind this is a friend I keep in touch with on that page mainly and through shared business contacts. We don't work in the same field but had at one time thought of going into business together. Apparently he is horny tonight. My picture must be good. After a few text I had to ask why only limit it to sex; do you feel I have only that to offer? His response was he is just not at that point. Yes, Karma, I hear you.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
why yes, yes I am
|
Posted:Dec 28, 2013 6:21 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2013 7:12 pm
8601 Views
|
I went to my usual place for a drink last night and one of my friends met up with me a couple of hours after I got there. It is interesting to me that if a women is out and a male friend meets her that others will assume the two are intimate. When my friend went to the restroom the other people that are there regularly were making comments about how someone was getting lucky that night. I was actually irritated because this friend and I have been friends since high school and really are just friends. Is it not possible for a male and female to just meet for a few drinks? Anyway my friend and I were talking about my last date and how the guy said I appear to be very uptight. The friend agreed I do come off that way but it's just because he doesn't know me. Then I realized I am uptight about stuff. I am okay with people having that perception of me. I don't want everyone to know what I am really like. They would never take me serious.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Hungover
|
Posted:Dec 26, 2013 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2013 10:59 am
8138 Views
|
Not of the drinking kind but of the family kind. Too much of it. I had a pleasant time at my sister's house and it was very nice to have all the in one room. They spent time picking on each other and watching videos of when they were babies. Working today was interesting. The building was quiet as it appeared many people took the day off. I am not sure what I will do to bring in the new year. Possibly what I do every year which go to sleep by ten. It is not exciting but it is a plan.
What are your new year plans?
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Here we go
|
Posted:Dec 24, 2013 9:06 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 10:46 pm
7989 Views
|
In my family plans change by the minute. I think that must be how I can so easily go from one thing to the other. Sunday it was decided we would have a family dinner at my sister's house. We have never done that. This may possibly be the last time we have all the cousins together in one place. It is so bittersweet actually. M decided to stay so she can see her cousins, my nephew came home on leave and of course we still have my niece. So what went from no plans for Christmas will now be a big family get together. I am having a glass of wine now watching my do the cooking. She is such a great cook!
I hope that each of you have a wonderful holiday.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
The reason I love her
|
Posted:Dec 23, 2013 10:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2013 5:20 am
7754 Views
|
This was written by my last night: About 10 minutes ago my mom and I were walking out of the 5th avenue mall when a young man walked up to us and said "can you help me". We stumbled over our words but said no,sorry. He walked away very quickly and asked the same thing to the next group of people, they too said the same thing. As we got in the car we looked at each other and said we need to find that guy, he needs help. We found him a bit farther down the road and you know what? He was hungry, all he wanted was to eat. He hadn't had a single meal. My mom bought him a gift card to a restaurant which will be able to pay for multiple meals. If we hadn't of stopped this guy might not have gotten a meal. It makes me sad that we are so quick to give people our most polite but abrupt "no" when they approach us on the street. Without even thinking we throw up a barrier.
Tonight I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and a fridge full of food and I am constantly surrounded by loving family and friends. My heart breaks for those who do not have any of these things. Do not take anything for granted.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Teenagers
|
Posted:Dec 22, 2013 10:46 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 10:46 pm
7593 Views
|
I went from having a very quiet house to having 2 teenage girls living with me. One has drama on a daily basis. OMG! Her drama seems to happen between the hours of 2-4 am. I really need sleep, a full night sleep. With no teenage drama. I think she may be going to see her parents for Christmas so I just may get it on Tuesday. Having my home has been a blessing and a curse. She is lovely but also does not think she needs to rinse a bowl. Ever. I know I taught her how. There is something wrong that I am looking forward to Monday and going back to work so I can be away from the teenagers.
I never made it out to finish my shopping yesterday. I think the nephews and whomever else I need to get gifts for will be receiving gift cards. Impersonal but it'll do.
My bed is finally getting delivered today! Yay!! Now I need to buy living room furniture. I am trying to decide if I want to stay in the house I am in or move so I have been putting off buying furniture. If I stay I need small scale since my living room is small. If I move I want a bigger place. Chances are I will stay because I hate moving and I have done it 5 times in five years. Plus my current landlord is a friend and has literally told me I can do whatever I want to the place. I think I'll paint. I just hate the actual act of painting.
I am supposed to be making dinner tonight for some friends and I really have no idea what to make or how I was nominated as the person to make dinner. I don't cook. They know this. It's not that I don't know how. I just don't. I think they want proof I know how. I really want to suggest meeting somewhere because in order for me to cook I will need to go to the grocery store. I don't want to go to the grocery the weekend before Christmas. Really someone needs to start a delivery business for groceries!! I have teenagers! I will send the one that is not at work...now to decide what to make.
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Thinking
|
Posted:Dec 21, 2013 7:25 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2013 12:26 am
6948 Views
|
I am feeling a bit sad tonight as I am thinking of friends I have lost touch with. One in particular I would love to talk to and spend some time with but I know it is best to leave it as it is. There are not that many people I could just be silly with. He was one of them; he was kind of on the serious side but laughed when I was being goofy. He was also someone I could talk to about my stuff. I could be honest about my crazy which also part of why we could never be together and why the friendship ultimately had to end. So SLC I hope you have a merry Christmas. I miss you.
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
5 hours 28 minutes
|
Posted:Dec 21, 2013 11:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2013 7:43 pm
6879 Views
|
That is how much daylight we will have today in south central Alaska. The good news? We start gaining it tomorrow. I can feel my mood getting better as I type this. Not to say we don't have 4 more months of winter to look forward to but it is still nice to know we will have light.
Soooo...Last night was interesting for me. I had a first date. It started off horrible. He works on the slope and had just come off a hitch out there. Apparently there is some drinking that happens on the plane and then a couple of drinks at the airport; so by the time he met me, he was feeling pretty good. I was not impressed and told him. Actually I was pissed off. I am pretty sure I did not lash out as I normally would I just stated my feelings and was about to go my own way and he seemed genuinely sorry. We decided to have dinner where the conversation was better. He is a little different from what I am used to dating, not as educated but not a dumbass either. He is not what I am physically attracted to and we did discuss that. He did make me laugh though. He has a great sense of humor and seems to get along with everyone. He treated everyone we encountered with such warmth. That is a huge thing for me. It was not a fake thing for him. Anyway- it ended up being a good time and he did turn out to be a really good guy.
My faith in the kindness of people was restored today. When I went to get my coffee this morning the woman in front of me paid for mine! I paid for the person behind me as a thank you. Gave me warm and fuzzies.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (AK_Snowflake) use [blog AK_Snowflake] in your messages.
|
|
Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
91
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
161
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|