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Thoughts on Gender Identity  

AimeeLeeTS 58T  
38 posts
6/13/2020 2:36 am
Thoughts on Gender Identity

Sub Title: She’s so………wait for it……….Heavy (Abbey Road ring a bell?)
Okay. I want state from the very beginning that the following opinions are mine alone….and they very well may be as flawed as I am in general. So please If whatever I end writing here really sets you off or you have a better way of looking at the matter….please let know….I am by no means an<b> expert </font></b>the topic, nor even my own place within the spectrum of gender identity… this is just trying figure my thing out. And it already begins…..”what spectrum, what the hell … either you’re a man or a woman!” “or an attack helicopter!” always funny………………………………..I’m screwed.
First, a little comment about the state of mental health care and how much it’s really needed…..I tried talk about some of these things with a therapist, but I was only able meet with her once a month, because that’s what my insurance would allow…..so we probably spent a third of our counseling session trying figure out what privately sponsored or publicly funded support group I could join. 45 minutes once per month might not be enough for my overwhelming drive figure out why I was having a fundamental shift in how I perceived myself…not a big deal…”are you sure we can’t convince you that you might benefit from medication”…ease that pain…it’ll be fine…Sorry, I tried self-medicate when of this started….it’s the main reason I sought help initially because I was having a real tough time with it…But fortunately I’ve been able to clear myself from that exit strategy.. So, since I haven’t found the right support group yet, this is now my therapy…writing my own self-help book…..all footnotes provided by knowledgeable readers are welcome…I’ll even include the best in my book.
And to just tie this into current events…”defund the police” does not mean get rid of the police…..it means take some of the enormous amounts of money being used to staff and militarize the police and have it go towards professional support services geared towards effectively and humanely resolving complex social problems….including mental health, drug addiction, domestic violence, and yes poverty, that war is still far from over. The list goes on and on related to the issues that would be better served by a different type of intervention…It makes so much f’ing sense to me. But I’m a crazy person. Will I end up in a cell because I wasn’t able to self-help my way out of drug abuse, roughed up by cops because they’re so fed up with dealing with another junkie, or in a treatment program that actually helps me overcome my struggles at the source, not at the end of a needle.
Now for the lighter side…because I find the current state of affairs regarding Gender Identity to often be strangely humorous, and also very sad at the same time. Come on, please...can we stop taking ourselves so seriously…..what do I care that some fellas like to dress up as dames, even when they themselves admit they can sometimes look a little ridiculous. That some feel that they’re a different sex then the one assigned them at birth…or like myself who believe that each human being may have personality/gender traits that have varying degrees of both classic male and female attributes….that prefer the more expressive styles and looks that woman get to with over the monotone presentation of the straight male…who can have a high level of emotional intelligence but are also very adept at figuring out spatial relationships,,,,,, not a big deal people…let’s stop repressing who we are and what we might want to be and let it flow for a while….it’s messy now because I believe we’re pretty much ruled by certain tenants that give many people comfort and helping them to know their place in the world. Great, Wonderful, or to quote Napoleon Dynamite, “Lucky” No one’s out to take that away….we have way more people on the planet then it can easily support….why not celebrate the difference within the non-breeder population. How can we be god’s if how we choose present in the world is seen as less than human….the world will not end because my mascara or yours is running…there will still be plenty of new life brought into the world….nature won’t be stopped because I end falling in love with another Tgirl….and after you’re done telling us how we are going hell….you have admit, we’re hella cute!
Okay, I went off the rails here and rambled …I still have more things say this. But this gets be too long. no one will read it. Closing down for now.
Parting Thought “ even if you’re in the “all lives matter” camp…try take a little time give people of color some time feel supported in this moment….when we can finally end racism the point where people of color feel equally safe, equally heard, equally respected.. support them in this moment….and as I said earlier….keep in mind that the list is long, mental health, drug abuse, poverty, income inequities, trans rights……focus on the moment and save your strength because we need work of it….
Departing soap box

Hawkfan533333 31M  
688 posts
6/13/2020 12:32 pm

One thing I wanted to point out that you mentioned, was only being able to go to therapy once a month. I tried therapy as well, as we all should probably should be doing some kind of therapy, but like you, I was only able to go once a month. It's a complete joke, hell the therapist would spend half the time, reading notes from a month ago. It's much easier to prescribe some pills to improve your mood, or anxiety, and never actually fix the problem. I know many people have a pre genetic disposition, and need meds, but our mental health problem in this country would greatly benefit from more routine therapy. Therapy is a long process, and it takes a long time to get were there trying to help you get, and once a month is not cutting it. Srry for the rant, I just needed to say that.

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AnewWoman 62F  
189 posts
6/13/2020 2:47 pm

I get where you are coming from. I transitioned over a decade ago. I did go through seeing a psychologist for a couple years and living full-time as well for a couple years before my surgery. Insurance covered my therapist and prescriptions minus copays. Surgery was 100% paid by me. I didn't do it for you. I didn't do it for society or politicians. I did it for me.
Realize I have consistently said "I" above. Nobody owes you anything, and that in itself is one of the biggest problems trans, lgbt, and those of various races face. Too many seek help from others to do what they perceive they need rather than taking it upon themselves to accomplish, no matter what it takes. Not saying you or others are bad by any means. But no one ever promised you everything you ever wanted. You set your priorities as others set their own priorites.

Cum_Happy 107M
2756 posts
6/13/2020 4:07 pm

Congratulations on freeing yourself from your self fix drug of choice! " . . .exit strategy . . ." is a good way to term it.
Writing your own self-help book is probably more meaningful and effective than seeing a therapist once a month - that's almost doomed to fail. But of course, if it helps you at all, then take advantage of having it. Actually, I'm not convinced that more therapy sessions is the answer either. Inevitably, the answer must come to us from us, within us. That's one reason why writing seems like such a good idea. The other end of that spectrum of course, is reading, which can be immensely helpful and therapeutic.
When the dust settles, what everything boils down to are a few verses in Desiderata that say enough to fix a broken heart, mend the bent mind, and soothe a weary soul, they are: “Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.” And, “You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.” And finally . . .
“Strive to be happy.”

Best Wishes to you!

Click: Quote or Respond Tell me what you think of my comment. I will see reply in “Where I’m Quoted

AimeeLeeTS 58T  
5 posts
6/13/2020 4:26 pm

AnewWoman - I respectfully agree to disagree...politicians and the powerful people that own them are the ones that set our societies priorities, we could easily implement universal health care and a long list of actions that could better out society...but the diminished profits and loss of control are unacceptable to those that have become all too comfortable at the expense of others....I really appreciate that you took the time to respond and i respect that you see this differently....i applaud what you've accomplished on your own, but don't assume that others are just too lazy or unmotivated to help themselves. Some of us need the help sometimes that we literally can't afford.. I wish it had been easier for you....this is not an easy path to go down for any of us...with love and respect, Aimée

IsabellaCD8 42T  
100 posts
6/14/2020 8:54 am

We are not bodies that have a soul... We are souls that have a body.
The soul is not male or female
The body and soul coexist until the body dies.
The Mind is a part of the body, separate from the soul. It has thoughts and tries to make sense of things. It can run you whole life.
You have a choice. You can choose who runs your life.. The body or the Soul.
If you do not choose, the body runs it The body lives in fear.. Fear that it will die.Fear that it will not have enough. Fear that material things will be lost.
Basically fear that it will not get what it wants or fear that it will lose what it has.
Its an illusion.
In 100 years we will all be dust, just like everyone who lived before us.
In this sense we are all equal.
Nurture your soul, be still and listen. Observe the chatter in your mind.
You are the one observing, the chatter is from the physical mind.
Set yourself free.

AimeeLeeTS 58T  
5 posts
6/14/2020 8:39 pm

I wanted to thank everyone who have taken the time to read my blog. And i'm sorry that i have not responded to each one individually...i never want to only respond to comments that might test me and my opinions....and i think it shows my already obvious insecurities by showing my priority in defending myself. plus i do enjoy a thoughtful and respectful debate, it helps me so much to think about others ideas that don't align with my own..The support and heartfelt comments are amazing to me....thank you so, so much for sharing your personal experiences and the helping me to feel heard and suppoted...BTW, AnewWoman, you have influenced me in one really special way, you inspired me to write "with love and respect", it is now what i will forever use with people i've just met and especially to those that feel like i maybe have a lot to learn. That really works for me, because it sincerely represents how i feel,..so to everyone here, whether new friends or old.....with love and respect, Aimée


annelye 46T  
1140 posts
6/15/2020 2:21 am

… C'est vraiment très touchant de voir à quel point tu te livres.

luvtofuk1965 54M
138 posts
6/15/2020 4:54 am

Really like your blog so far. Almost wish I hadn't left the east bay area.
Looking forward to the next installment.

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