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Thoughts on Gender Identity = Part 3  

AimeeLeeTS 58T  
38 posts
6/28/2020 2:08 pm
Thoughts on Gender Identity = Part 3

Who gets call themselves trans, and who gets decide? – Wikipedia Definition: Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their sex assigned at birth Some transgender people who desire medical assistance transition from one sex another identify as transsexual. Transgender, often shortened as trans, is also an umbrella term. In addition including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may include people who are not exclusively masculine or feminine (people who are non-binary or genderqueer, including bigender, pangender, genderfluid, or agender). Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. The term transgender may be defined very broadly include cross-dressers.
So, there you have it. At least according the -powerful, -knowing, holy grail of facts. Either it’s an umbrella term for a broad range of gender identities or it’s a more restrictive definition depending on who you talk . My opinion, it’s what you think that matters. I don’t like labels in general, and I definitely don’t like it when someone else throws one on me. Once again I avoid controversy by kind of saying, “whatever.” the more important aspect of this is about acceptance. Acceptance of ourselves and somewhat less importantly, being accepted by others, even if they find us confusing. Of course, legally it’s incredibly important. At the very least, whatever your gender identity, you need be seen as equal in the eyes of the law. And that also applies whom you choose love and if you’re really crazy, marry. And I guess having some sort of gender marker might help in the dating scene, but that’s a whole other topic that warrants a separate conversation. No one has the luxury of being fully realized by everyone, and we really don’t need to be. Acceptance, mutual respect and compassion are so much more important. Side Note: since one of the current sore spots for misidentifying gender is focused on pronouns I want to just say a few words on the subject. My opinion, I really don’t feel it’s that important. I suppose if I adopted the new lexicon, I would be a they/them...which I find incredibly awkward and frankly unnecessary, for me. If you call me him or her, it doesn’t really matter to me. I know who I am, and that’s good enough. (again, for me) If it’s important to you, that’s fine. It still falls into my general philosophy of acceptance, respect and compassion. I’ll be happy to address you how you like, but show compassion if I or others fail you.
Cross Dressing (sexual fetish or a form of personal growth) The joke goes, what’s the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual? Punch Line: about 2 years.
I do want to spend some time on the subject of Cross Dressing, primarily because it has a close relation to my own story and I think that it’s too often seen as a one-dimensional activity. And remember this is my story, I can’t and won’t address things that I have not been a part of my own personal experience. I only started cross-dressing a little over two years ago. It started almost by accident, I was in a sexual relationship, and the person I was seeing asked if I had ever tried cross dressing, he had other experiences with transwomen and cross dressers and he thought I would look really nice if I dressed and wore makeup. I was open to it for some reason, I guess because we had already established some trust between us. My first attempts were a disaster. It took me quite a while to find clothes that fit and watching a ridiculous amount of make-up tutorials, which I have now decided I can’t watch anymore, because……well watch a few and you’ll understand. Anyway, I don’t know why, but I was driven to get better at it, because I saw the potential. And as I got better at it, my confidence grew and I became someone that I actually liked better than what came before. It was very transformative, but I was starting to become really worried about what it meant. There was definitely a sexual aspect to it originally. And it also changed my relationship to sex. I actually felt feminine, as in softer, more giving, more sensual, just a lot of different physical and emotional changes to how I related. And not just sexually. It seemed to carry beyond my experience with my partner. I was beginning to feel more whole in other parts of my life. Like I had tapped into something that was always there, and somehow dressing unlocked that door. And as I mentioned in my first post, it also created so much anxiety that I started using drugs to dull and not deal with how I was feeling…Well as everyone knows, that’s a really good choice. So, I quickly enter therapy and try to understand this before I go over the edge and down the crystal rabbit hole. All because I happened into a lifestyle(?) that made me feel better about myself, but scared the hell out of me at the same time. I know that it’s different for different people. Some seem to be perfectly fine compartmentalizing the activity, do it in secret, some might be ashamed of it, some might not be. For me it seemed to go way beyond the sexual aspects. I really felt like it was forcing me to get in touch with a part of me that had been ignored and denied for most of my life. The best that I have been able to come up with so far is that I have always been mostly androgynous, but never felt comfortable exploring the feminine side of my personality. As I’ve said before, I’m still trying to figure it out, but the closest I can come to define my transgender identity would be that if you placed me on a scale (the spectrum) of 1 to 10, with 1 being primarily feminine, and 10 being primarily masculine, I would place myself at a 3...which really doesn’t tell you much. It’s a very broad, subjective scale, and it’s also possible that I may go back and forth. Am I Gender Fluid, Gender Queer, Androgynous? I really don’t care what I might be called. All I know is that I’m changing from what I was, to something I feel is more whole.
With love and Respect.
Work in progress

AimeeLeeTS 58T  
5 posts
6/28/2020 2:51 pm

pics are when i first started to see potential and a few months later, probably wearing too much make up...

rusty20055 65M
578 posts
6/28/2020 3:15 pm


ukgoal 50M
1 post
6/28/2020 3:21 pm

Aimee,you are dam sexy!!!!!

lindoboy100 57M
22299 posts
6/28/2020 3:35 pm

Really interesting read m'dear. Clearly written from the heart, all three parts. And very brave of you to put yourself out here for all to see. Thank you.

In your third part you give the impression that you're resolved to your sexuality and to it's growing and changing personality, you seem comfortable with it. I do hope that's the case. It seems to me that the best we can ask for from life is a happy state of equilibrium.

All the very best of scottish luck to you McMee (though maybe the luck of the irish would be more profitable). Please do keep us posted.

Hope you're well otherwise.


Pull ma finger.........

benard69 63M/63F  
5334 posts
6/28/2020 3:47 pm

And a Wonderful work in progress you are!

VALady62 57T  
342 posts
6/28/2020 4:06 pm

Very thoughtful Hon. I gave up a long time back on labels as they may serve an initial purpose but ultimately they are limiting. It's a journey for us that many don't understand. This is my third time transitioning and so far it's been the charm. I wish and hope all works out for you.....

[Everything changed when I went from Why to Why Not!

Luv2bottom4u2 63M  
1569 posts
6/28/2020 4:44 pm

You can call yourself anything you like. But fact is your either and X or Y . That's lets you know who and what you are !

joewantssub 49M
29 posts
6/28/2020 5:47 pm

There are men and women,that's it.Then there are those who have psychiatric problems.

scorp6926 58M
76 posts
6/28/2020 6:27 pm


20form 50T  
86 posts
6/28/2020 6:36 pm

Your makeup is perfect, your beautiful.


skuden2 58M
1040 posts
6/28/2020 8:25 pm

Hot 🥰

annelye 46T  
1090 posts
6/29/2020 10:59 pm

Hey Aimée ... you wrote "that it’s different for different people" and yes it is i discovered my fem part very late too i recognize myself in some lines you wrote, but it's different for me now, you know i am in the "compartmentalizing the activity" section lol ... thank you so much for putting words (even english words, not really easy to follow but it's worth it) where many of us can't or don't know houw to express. {=}

luvtofuk1965 54M
138 posts
6/30/2020 7:19 pm

I've enjoyed following your blog.insightful and honest.

GrpFun2020 59M

7/6/2020 6:58 am

This is very thoughtful stuff.
I see a photo - it's a static image and I draw conclusions or make assumptions. But transition is different. And, perhaps, some or all of us are in transitions of some kind. You look so fully formed, so solidly on the female end of the spectrum, that it seems unreal that this has happened in just the last two years. But then, there you are.
I appreciate you. I also think you're very hot. I mean... I clicked on a photo originally. But I appreciate you also.

Gina_L07 64T
371 posts
7/8/2020 7:14 am

Never be ashamed of who you really are and pity those who will never understand. So live the life you want and not the one others want you to live. Just saying. Be safe. Ciao.


IsabellaCD8 42T  
98 posts
7/12/2020 3:36 pm

Hi Aimée, Thank you for your story.

hardCock4w 63M  
1 post
9/6/2020 11:50 am

Aimee, you are a very thoughtful person with many deep inner thoughts... enjoy this time in your life and welcome the path you are taking now.... I think as one gets older, can have level of satisfaction of path one has taken..... be who you are... Mark

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