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day one...  

Andrew_truck 52M
0 posts
10/1/2021 6:53 am
day one...

This is not a blog telling the sordid tales of my escapades...at least not yet. I am hoping that that changes at some point, but I'm not here to ask someone to put out by 4pm...

When you are a widower things get radically different. Especially when the relationship you lost was one out of a million...her and I had chemistry like I didn't think was possible outside of a movie, and an understanding of each other that up to this day surprises me. Experiencing the loss of something that quite literally changed me, changed my life and showed me that the real thing is out there is something you can not put into words.
It messes you up though...me, I lost direction for a LONG time. Just kind of going through the motions, and hoping that pain, and feeling of emptiness would eventually lessen and get to a point where it becomes bearable.

To that point, about two years ago, I started dating someone. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I won't go into details, but it made things worse by a long shot.
Now I am kind of stuc

I can't say I am over the<b> pain. </font></b>I have resigned myself to the fact that that will never completely go away...and that's fine.

LOL...I am not even certain why I am putting this in writing. I finally started to try and take control of things. I am back on medication to treat depression, and am in the process of starting some therapy sessions to get my head on a straighter than it is at the moment.
Guess I just to get some of this crap out of my system.
Guess I am also for someone who could be willing to listen...understand what I am dealing with, maybe have a pointer or two.
Ultimately I suppose I am kinf od reaching out to see if I can make friends. Something I currently have very of...we all need someone.

Friend with benefits? bthat would be great, but I am not holding my breath. A relationship between a man and a woman doesn't always have to end up in bed...but I am not going to lie and say that is not what I wuoldn't be open to...because I would be open to just that.

I don't think I am ready to get into something long term...friends, please...sex, hopefully...romance, to a point...long term, probably not until I get my head out of where it's at at the moment.

So for now I am just going to post some thoughts here...in the hopes that getting some if it out may help with everything.

Feel free to post thoughts if that is possible...please don't be mean...

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