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How long to wait for chat response?  

AnewWoman 63F
286 posts
3/16/2021 6:46 pm
How long to wait for chat response?

often multitasking when on this site and don't always see requests when they are first sent. Sometimes the sender is offline by the time I can reply, other times it appears they are online but just don't respond to my reply.
So how long should you wait? I often see some go offline immediate after sending a request to . Do you wait all, or do you have a limit?
Expect immediate reply
Wait 30 seconds
Wait 1 minute
Wait 2-3 minutes
Wait up to 5 minutes
Wait up to 10 minutes
Wait more than 10 minutes

12624 posts
3/16/2021 10:11 pm


Humanity peaked during the 20th century.
We can't even make a decent starter solenoid any longer.

jajo696 66F
3958 posts
3/17/2021 1:43 am

The site is so quirky. I check back n forth for notifications. Most times they have waited for me to respond....so i wait a couple of minutes....still back n forth. The other thing is , the site shows people as online for a lonnngggg time, when actually they have signed off. This new IM system tho....no longer lets us type when the person is offline Like i said....quirkiness abounds~

justskin1 69M
12686 posts
3/17/2021 4:09 am

I do not IM but do go on cam most mornings and chat with those that want to. When on cam it covers the IM notice so I miss any that show up. When on cam I also am checking bogs, like now, or perving pics. I try to check the cam for chat every couple of minutes but many want an instant response.
Sending you a big naked hug and wishes for a great day.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.

Enjoyurtoy 52M
16 posts
3/17/2021 4:28 am

I have found the site to be generally good but sometimes long delays occur when instant messaging

Massass1963 58M

3/17/2021 5:17 am

I wait for several minutes...up to 10 if I am going to be online anyway. If I send a response, I always wait at least 5. I wouldn't draw conclusions about the flashing online and offline. I see this with frequently among all kinds of people I've IM'd. I think that is the site.
The other thing is a lot of people show online day and night. I likely do since I don't properly logoff when I am done. I probably should, but I think it tends to run on my phone even when I have gone to do other things. Still, you can't wait forever! LOL

Massass1963 58M

3/17/2021 5:19 am

Now if I am in the middle of a communication and it takes 5 minutes to hear a reply every other exchange, I probably get upset without justification, but I assume the other person is juggling conversations. I avoid that myself as it comes across as rude. But, it also might just be the delivery of the site--I don't know.

Granny872 69F  
4012 posts
3/17/2021 5:57 am

I don't intentionally wait more than 2-3 minutes. If the other person doesn't respond in that amount of time, I delete the convo and move on. Could be a lot of reasons for the delays, but I no longer speculate. If people aren't talking, there's no point in leaving that door open, so to speak.

dontcumtoofast 35M
144 posts
3/19/2021 7:45 am

If you can't figure out how to reply quickly I'm not intrested. The people who wait forever to respond are the same people who stand you up. Why else would they ask a question like that? They are just playing games

Fuklikedogs 50M
2945 posts
3/19/2021 7:34 pm

I’ve been waiting two and a half now

gDfranc 73M
41 posts
3/20/2021 12:39 pm

this site is SSOOOO slow

WilmingtonFun137 40M
281 posts
3/22/2021 11:47 am

If I'm going to initiate a chat, I'll do so fairly early on when I am starting on the site. Then just let it sit and wait. Though I'm not a gold member, so perhaps my points are a little more valuable to me. ha ha

You see light dappling on the water and forget the deep, cold dark beneath.

YourGoodLukCharm 62M
79 posts
3/22/2021 10:41 pm

As I'm no longer a Gold member and have paid for points all I can say is the IM is a waste of time as people no longer seem to have the patience or the etiquette like a phone call to actually chat. I should also state that a chat is an actual conversation between one or more persons including yourself. So I would like to know why I am paying 17points to have a one way conversation with myself!? Delivered but not Read is not a chat! Period! They should be made free again or at least free members should have access to several per day like we used to have. Also I would suggest in this day in age to speed things up on the exchange, there should be by now talk to text. Frankly since the new ownership has tried to monetize every aspect of this site, it out and out sucks and the whole dynamic and psychology of the users has changed. We've lost so much in the process as well. Points!...As I may point out have ruined this site in my opinion as have over priced buzzmode toys and the same ole cam girls on all the time trying to make a living. Remember when people just cammed for fun? Remember when on some weeknights and Fridays and Saturday nights there were 3-4 full pages of just gals camming and many more of other persuasions as well. Now it's barely over a page with less per page and more advertising. So sad. IMHO., if a free member with a lot of work can't score and things work as poorly as they do, why would they want to upgrade? There are inherent bugs here that haven't been fixed in years. Just today the IM has erased all the people I have chatted with or have tried to chat with. Gone! Null and void. Why? People keep sending me flirts which I can no longer see. Why? Can no longer connect to/ or access my photos on my computer as I don't post any because of the sensitive job I hold. Do you think I'm going to give AdultFriendFinder any!? You should Google your handle and see how many other sites it appears on; often with a different or altered profile.! Wow! Didn't know that did you?...What a way to increase your user numbers eh? I could go on having been about for almost 20yrs now. Remember when you could search by zip code if you were getting ready to take a trip. That was convenient. So many of the things that made this site function as a dating and hookup site are gone and it's truly sad; for at one time the concept and premise of this site was focused on us. Now it's all about sending money to someone's penthouse and that persons greed has ruined this place in a few short years IMHO. So many of the great people who used to be a part of the membership and fun have left. I think I should too. Not sure where they've gone, but I'd sure like to know as I miss the actual conversations we used to have in the pre; and early cell phone days. All for now. Thanks for giving me some air.

01eyedmonster 45M
24 posts
3/24/2021 5:16 am

Well said yourgoodlukcharm, after coming back after a long break it’s not the same, used to have a lot more fun and the community is less

GEL4e 49F
91 posts
3/24/2021 2:01 pm

When I was Gold, once I was logged in and going about my routine of checking things, the site dashboard was never in view until I was ready to logout, I never see what is happening on the Dashboard.. The few times I remember, I'd open IM window, have it off to side and forget to turn the alert volume on. If I responded or initiated a chat, I'd forget to turn the alert volume on as always. And just check back when I was ready to log out. Most often, hours would pass because I got pulled away from the computer or site. I never give it give my undivided attention until I was actually in a chat. I haven't come across chatters that don't have several chats happening at once.
Then there were the time that AdultFriendFinder site staff would just turn my chat status on or off despite what my settings were. That happened just as much or more than anything else, because I mostly kept it in busy mode.

AnewWoman replies on 3/26/2021 4:44 am:
You said it just as I would. Not like we login to the site and sit waiting for a chat alert to pop up. Like you, if I'm doing something else or simply just forgotten, I don't always have the notification sound switched on. And for all I know there is no sound on the mobile version of the site.

GEL4e 49F
91 posts
3/26/2021 4:03 pm

off topic - I love your profile photo and my favorite color is beautiful on your great ass.

. Shut Me Down Not Sexy Members. It did not take me long to discover that maybe 0.01% of local members hook-up. Despite my profile being quite explicit that I only hook-up, member chatters, voyeurs, and exhibitors still try to chat, sext, or get photos not displayed here. That level of density is no doubt why many of us are members looking for ... like minded!
Though likely done in vain, today I politely put in the beginning of my profile page that I do not social distance sex. I suspect few will read it and fewer still will comprehend all that is encompassed in that statement, but shame on me if I do not address it.

Apollo602021 60M  
3235 posts
4/12/2021 1:52 pm

On this site basically forever!

Please become an Apollo602021 blog follower!

Eviloutlaw1 59M
4563 posts
6/23/2021 9:47 am


Avonsenior 67M
1277 posts
10/14/2021 9:03 pm

I have heard from some members that the IM system does not appear to work for them.
I feel that it is not unusual for the girls to be busy and they may not be available to chat on a moments notice. I have logged in some times and found a message but could not retrieve it from the person without buying a Gold membership. (Poor action for this site)

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