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First encounter in the Dungeon with the Divine Ladies  

AngelicaTemptres 44F
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6/19/2020 4:12 pm
First encounter in the Dungeon with the Divine Ladies

Okay, so here I am writing a journal entry. Should I start "Dear Diary"? I'm writing up about yesterday, from start to finish I guess. I don't know how to do this but no doubt I'll be corrected if wrong... {smiling}.

I woke up about 6:20am yesterday, and was immediately filled with energy to do anything. I was looking forward to my trip to see Ladysweets and Lady Angelica off the bat. I don't go to lengths typically to do anything that requires planning unless I want it "enough". I'm typically pretty easy-come-easy-go around anything and normally not bothered if I can't all of a sudden hang out with a mate (for example). I understand "shit happens", and because of this, planning anything is normally deemed too much hastle next to the inevetable disappointment when it's either not what it ought to be, or doens't even get off the ground.

However, on this occasion it really was something I felt compelled to chase down as if it was my last meal or something. I knew that I wanted this to happen enough for it to be atleast good enough, and oddly, I wasn't even the slightest bit nervous about meeting my ladies.

After initial getting up rituals; coffee, breakfast, dressing, I found myself lost in my own home. It was my day off work and for the next nearly ten hours I had F%$£ all to do! While I did eventually fill the time with a number of menial pre-occupations, ever present was a loathing for not having the ability to speed time up just to get on with what I wanted to do at the time. Every so often I'd look at the nearest clock and curse to myself about how tme isn't bending to my will. Silly, but I know we've all had that desire. Why? Because I had something more than just an idle fancy to "try something new"... I had something to prove. Horribly macho I know, it doesn't manifest often in me but this was a thing I needed to prove to myself, that BDSM was in my DNA. To finally know a missing piece of myself, the only logical answer to so many questions raised over the last few months. I won't list the specifics, that's not required, but there are many MANY questions.

So simply put, I was on a mission, and yes, I do get very impatient when in this objective mindset.

Fast-forward to about 2pm and the anguish is nearly over because now I am busying about getting shaved, and other small "going out" prep. I start to feel less tense and by the time a half hour later I'm dropping milk off to my mum's I realise I must have been chilled about my forcast adventure because I have never been able to Bullshit my own mother. She asks all the small stuff; "How are you?" "What are you doing today?" and I calmly reply that "I'm ok, and just going out of town to Cambridge". She accepts it as readily as the weather and I say my goodbyes and take cares. Normally, I'd have the spanish inquisition up my ass from her just at the thought of getting on a bus!

I go from Mum's house to the bus station not really thinking about much more than hoping that the bus will be on time, listening to my music. Honestly, I can't do anything in silence! If I'm not in a roudy room, I have music in my ears. Silence drives me crackers. I get to the bus station and already I was faced with some intense last-minute alteration to my plan! It soured me a bit in a flash but fortunatly I found an answer that fit perfectly.

A cabbie sat at the rank was free to take me to the train station. We were really early because I had allowed for the hour and 20minute bus travel and it only takes a motorist half an hour to do the same trip.

I was so early I was very pleased to learn that my train ticket was valid for any train on that line all day so I got on an earlier train to Harlow Town.
It wasn't until I was sat on the train that I really started to anticipate anything from my session. I was already so focused on simply getting there I had blocked everything else out. I was watching the Gmaps app track my travel. It entertained me so far as helping me undertand physically where it was I was in relation to where I had been.

On the way I found myself in a Whatsapp chat with a friend of mine who considers herself submissive, I'll refer to her here as Kitty – a personal joke between the two of us. I told Kitty a while ago of my aspirations to explore my BDSM side and that I'd like to find a Domme to own me. Kitty has remained hesitant and she knows me pretty bloddy well too. I couldn't figure if she doubted my commitment to my desires or that if she doubted my identity as Sub. Now I do genuinly identify as Submissive based on how much pleasure I get from pleasing people. I do also have a very strong lust for knowledge, to understand hows and whys in particular. This makes me incredibly inquisitive.
So this is where I admit a curiosity that I plan to resolve one way or another: Am I (like Kitty suggests) a Switch?
As I said, Kitty does know me better than most people. We have history. It didn't work, but I let her in and I'm not one to change who I am. I only learn more about myself as I have time to explore. Kitty knows that I like to control things. She knows that I have a strong personality. She was drawn to me for reasons that I still can not fully understand. When I first confided in her about BDSM research she instantly jumped to the conclusion that I'd be a Dom myself and was surprised when I said that I couldn't relate.

This came up again while chatting to her on the train and the thought that I could be both Sub and Dom had just been a laugh between us until I really asked myself right then. My own answer: "Maybe?" I mean, Kitty's right about my attitudes and tendancies. My habits... She asked me a question that at the time had little relevence to right now:
"Could you hurt someone for your pleasure?"
I'll come back here to this in a while, but sat on the train my answer was genuine: No.

No, because at the time I still had a mental block. One that insisted that inflicting pain on another only came from either anger or neglect – both bad places, so to inflict pain was to abuse another. Emphasis on the past tense.
After I put Kitty down and got off of the train I continued to think about what I wanted to experience, while all the time reminding myself that I shouldn't expect anything! I't not a slave's place to have preconceptions. I swiftly resolved that I wanted only one thing – two if we're counting the active avoidance of the other side of this coin. I wanted to please my ladies! I didn't want to disappoint!
Disappointment – it's like my own perosnal Kryptonite! Looking at the typed word right now bums me out just there! I hate it! I can't disappoint! I often don't know what standards people have of me for anything, but that is why I try as hard as I do at anything, why I won't back down! To be told with conviction that I am a disappointment... well it's only happened once before but it was like I had died. I can't be that again!
...and then, I nearly was! This was after I got bored of waiting at the station and after I got a text message from Ladysweets (although now with hindsight applied I suspect that it was Lady Angelica sending me the related message) telling me that I wasn't allowed to be late OR early! I started wondering around like a stray looking for the next mildly interesting anything. Then, dread decended upon my mind! Of all the things that we had talked about, the one thing I needed to get right hadn't been covered. I had no clue on "how" to pay tribute! I text Ladysweets' number with the question right away asking for instruction, but I got no immedeate response. I wasn't about to wait for a reply after I realised that I could prepare tribute the right way without prompting, all I needed was an ATM. Again, I turned to Gmaps to guide me to a machine and I ended up after a 20minute walk at Sainsbury's in Harlow... atleast, the wrong side of a roundabout looking at the petrol station sign, but close enough. I still had plenty of time on my hands and as a Sainbury's collegue myself I figured I would go in a snoop about the local floor to see what these guys are doing that we aren't at home. I was also a little peckish and in need of a pit-stop so all of a sudden this was a whole heap more useful than initially intended. It felt good to have all of my needs sorted at the same time just by chance. I took it for a good omen.
I stopped by the restroom, bought a Ginsters pasty and scotch egg, used the ATM outside and sat and ordered a taxi for 6:45 from there. This allowed me ten minutes to enjoy my snack and breath in the foreign air.
I remembered then in that moment that this was the first time I had left my normal borders in 13 years. The last time I got on a train south was to go through London to Leatherhead for college. Since then, I hadn't hardly left Haverhill at all. It was a bittersweet thought. I was elated to find that I still had it in me just to wonder off in pursuit of my desires and that life is just a basket of oppotunity if you are strong enough to take one. I was also mildly depressed to realise that I had spent so long buried in one place not exploring the delights of the world beyond my borders.
It wasn't long before the taxi arrived, a silver Ford Galaxy of all bloody things. Really, as cars go there are only so few things worse than a Galaxy! I was amused by way of cosmic irony – there I was enjoying my own successes so far, and then the universe gives me a Galaxy to complete the final leg in. Proof, I thought, that if there is a God, he's got a twisted sense of humor just like me.
This cabbie had me sit in the back behind a blast-shield designed to repel Corvid-19 attacks. I hadn't seen anything like it until then and that itself amused me. I get the social distancing, as much as I hate it. I get the need to wash hands frequently, as inconvienient as that's become at work. I even appreciate when people are courtious enough when you don't know them to give you a wide birth, just incase. But beyond these... the whole Coronavirus thing has caused more grief with mishandling of the pandemic to me than anything else I have experienced in my life. I am DONE with Corvid-19 and all it's drama!
I may have done futhrer thinking in the taxi to the farm if the trip was longer, but really all I was thinking was "I'm really doing this! It's happening!" and finally, an odd one, a thought that is really hard to explain at all. "What is their energy going to feel like?"
I'm not superficially shallow, but this does que me to have "standards"... and I do have standards. Just not obvious standards.
To try to explain (no promises here!), I consider myself a spiritual individual. Not religious! I am drawn to individuals in a crowd by their "energy". I "feel" connections with people I want to know before I even speak with them. While everyone has an energy to feel, I'm not interested in just anyone! There must be something strong, alluring, exciting about their being. Something to discover, something that they already own themselves... something I want.
To show how often this happens in my workplace: I am part of a 160 strong online team in Sainsbury's, Haverhill. Of these many collegues, only 3 (previously strangers) have piqued my interest to want to get to know them as friends. These figures may become a little more relevent in a second.
My point is, I am sensitive to an individual's energy and it's rare for me to be more interested in another beyond basic good manners.
My senses were snapped however upon first contact with (I hope so much that I recall accuratly!) Molly, my Lady's Sub attendant.
 I'm really sorry if it's not Molly and I did mis-hear! It's simply I do have a hard time with names and my head was at the time drowning taking in everything around me, let alone the flood of energy that I'm getting to.
Molly is unique for a really bizzare reason. Despite her outward physical presence which really is something, her energy felt small, smaller than it should for anyone at all. Practically walled up, but not from fear or concern. Her energy felt refined, measured... deliberatly subdued. Where I'm used to picking up on outward signals from someone, Molly's energy was like a vacume or a void pulling my attention. I needed no cue to know that it was Molly walking down the path to come and guide me to my Lady's chamber.
So far as vocal interactions were concerned between myself and Molly, things were "fair weather". Polite ofcourse. I was greeted pleasantly when asked if I was here to see Lady Angel. I was stumped a moment because realisticly, right then, I had no clue what the establishment looked like. Add to that, if I was due to be entertaining simply more than one Domme, to my mind (for the short walk) I had to ask myself how many Dommes were around? I knew of two: Ladysweets and Lady Angelica. I braved an educated guess, but expected to be corrected. "Lady Angelica?" I asked and Molly confirmed that yes we were on the same page. It was amusingly calm walking to the door.
I found myself with a horde of questions about Molly, a mix of personal and topical questions for her to answer – questions I suspect won't be answered either because they are too personal or just not permitted. I'd stress my intrest is strictly academic, and for innocent, personal satisfaction alone! But I'm not as keen on knowing everything now as I was before last night. I don't mind enigma, secrets can be fun. A very new concept for my acceptance.
Molly stood politely and showed me the door. I remember looking back to her as if to ask "What is going to happen to me?", and then kicking myself to relocate my balls and just go in – stop looking like a poor movie scene!
As I opened the door I felt... so much! It was simple, fitting. I'd use basic and practical if they weren't cold and insulting adjectives. I'd be very wrong to use basic, but I'd make that mistake because when I scale that sentiment back, it's nearly exactly how I'd design the facilities as they stood. I may have gone another colour for the ambient lighting only because the dark blue really did impare my ability to see things in detail. I was really glad that it wasn't red though. Red, off-limits for chiché sake!
I entered the lounge area where I met first Ladysweets. Ladysweets is genuinly a calming energy on first contact. Pretty and charming despite the choice of black attire. I could have honsetly sat opposite her as we were at a bar with glasses of wine and chatted for ages about anything. She sounded soft and "home-grown" but without being branded "essex bird". Ladysweets was indeed quite sweet and alluring... and that threw my guard up.
No-one dresses like that, with an obvious intent for such ascetic perfection, and doesn't mean to be everything she's showing! The cordial charm that I was being enthralled by had to be akin to a siren's song. I was being baited, and I knew it. I also know the reputation sirens have and what the lessons to take from the mariner tales are. However, I like Ladysweets. As another human like myself she's really approachable and likable. She's really genuine too. I'd end up massaging her feet, and even without a foot fetish myself to put behind it for enthusiasm, I really didn't mind sitting rubbing her feet and that surprised me. When me and Kitty were together, I don't think I once rubbed hers just because I didn't want to. And it wasn't because I was my Lady's slave either. I wanted to rub her feet because... maybe in a way, by doing this for her I could show her that she made me feel safe enough to just be human as well as a slave. I was grateful for this surreal security and I would ignore my own preferences entirely for her to atleast try to perfom a decent foot massage just for her.
I'm getting ahead of myself, back to the lounge!
So after introductions with Ladysweets and attempting to absorb as much of everything around me as humanly possible, I then paid tribute. A small but important matter that it's my preference to graze over except to mention that because of my personal feelings on the whole thing, I will safely assume that I handled it as smoothly as a three-legged camel racing at Ascot. So bad!
After a short while I met Lady Angelica, who came forth from a small room off to the right of me – I assumed a changing room/bathroom.
Lady Angelica is a chalk to Ladysweet's cheese. A terrible analogy, I know but the point is that they are both perfectly opposite one-another. Where Ladysweets is calm, collected and deceptive, Lady Angelica is wild, energtic and relentless. I think the thing I liked about Lady Angelica the most was that she was as frankly spoken as she was with her actions. This is a Lady that doesn't make you guess anything about herself. If she likes you, your gonna get spanked... and if she likes spanking you, you get spanked again before being told that you please her. It's then for you to decide, do you like being spanked? Her wild red heair certainly compliments and advertises her play style and I'm left ever amused that she's taken Angelica as her Domme name, I'm betting that it's deliberatly ironic on her part which tells me that we could get along really well in other settings too.
To listen to Lady Angelica's voice, I have already mentioned her frank way with her words, which some might interpret as "common". I won't use that myself because my Lady Angelica is anything but common! I beleive her to quite the opposite where by my research I have read that most Dominants keep their BDSM life totally seperate from their regular lives. I do wonder if this is true with Lady Angelica? Her wild exuberence and lusty impatience suggest that she would at very least struggle to contain herself outside of her dungeon. I do trust her to keep my privacy sacred, but an individual with such a passionate enjoyment from what she does must surely want to talk to trusted friends using basic ambiguity. I personally, would consider myself honoured to learn that I was topic of conversation between my Lady Angelica and her closest circle because I do feel that it would be another level of enjoyment at least for her to be able to use verbal communication as another outlet for her passions exerienced. Lady Angelica's energy felt like a whole sherbert fountain stuffed into a 2litre of cherryade, and then of course, I was the one that she was focused on.
I feel that I should mention that I do indeed like cherryade!
Immediatly I clocked Lady Angelica as the busy and impatient type, a kindred spirit to myself especially considering the earlier hours of my day. I figured that if Ladysweet was the "good cop", of which I feel she is, then Lady Angelica had to be the "bad cop". I lingered a while deliberatly not rushing forward despite my impulses pulling at me. I can't recall Ladysweets' question now but she asked me something and my replay, tentative as it was, was received loud and clear to the delights and surprise of my Dommes. "Bring it on!" I said out loud, and that was the start of quite the frenzy. Lady Angelica seemed to be very excited by it. Maybe I should have been nervous at that point with thoughts of "What the F have I just done?", but truthfully, the smile on my face really was the same smile I was wearing on the inside. I didn't know or care what came next because of my comment, all I cared about was how pleased my two Dommes were with it and I was lapping up their excitment like an overly spoiled cat at a cream bowl.
I took my jacket off, my headphones, checked my phone was in the right pocket... and followed Ladysweets though toward the playroom. She informed me of the first rule: "You head must always be below ours!" I paused and looked at her. I got to thinking "I'm six feet..." and my Lady finished the thought for me. "You're pretty tall, you may want to consider kneeling." I figured that it was as good an idea as any but I wasn't quick enough clearly as I was put on my knees after two steps into the playroom. I think it was Ladysweets that dropped me... I could be mistaken, but I guess it must have been because as I was looking up and coming to grips with the intense blue hue that clung to everything I saw two figures sat on chairs infront of me. I recognised Lady Angelica sat to the left, but I didn't know this other figure, this... power sat infront of me. I heard a voice impatiently telling me to go towards... I don't know. I still can't recall! I shuffled over towards the new figure and every inch closer I got made my soul shudder. My senses were all barely together, sight impaired by the blue lights (but that's deliberate and I like it so it doesn't really count.) Hearing impaired temporarily with my troublesome right canal. Smell was overcomensating and it was hard trying to ignore everything I was smelling just to get a reading on what my ears were telling me. Touch was behaving, atleast that was one. Taste was oddly being influenced by smells I were getting, it was as if I could taste the inscence in the room. Then, my "other" sense...
I felt Madame before I even laid eyes on her. Right back there, pushed to the floor, I felt her in the room ahead of me and it was intense right then! I'd like to think that if I was allowed a minute to collect myself before being presented to her I'd have been better than I was for first impressions. However, after spending time with her I know that there wasn't a hope for me being better presented at all. This is a woman who commands a real power over men (and probably other women too). She smiled in approval at my outward show of fear, and afraid I was! Not at what she would do to me, but I was accutly afraid of being unworthy of her! I cannot better describe it, and she is the first and only person I have felt like that towards!
I have read a few articles about how a good Dom/Sub relationship is supposed to feel, and I have read so many more articles saying that you don't always get that sense of utter... well submission in a Dominant's presence. In turn, I wasn't disappointed when I didn't feel "domintated" by Ladysweets in the lounge or even intimidated by Lady Angelica's enthusiasm at my clumsy comments. I was still going to have fun with them and I still wanted to please them and I hope that I did do that for them... I'd submit to them both again in a flash if requested because I enjoyed their attentions too and we would all be in the room to have fun in a way that they wanted.
Because they enjoy me, I enjoy myself feeding off of their pleasures from playing with me. This is how I learned that I enjoy BDSM time myself. I had theorised, and I was right. It's like my own personal kink to kinky.
I wasn't ready for nor warned (also deliberate, I'm guessing) of Madame Devious. I tried to answer some questions while kneeling at her feet and I can still remember an echo in my head "please don't move." I didn't want to move away once close, I didn't want her to move... I hadn't even looked at her fully only sort of waist-high, but right there in her shadow, engulfed in her majesty... it wasn't even a safe feeling, no way was it "safe" – and I'm bored with safe in my life, but it was so perfectly overwhelming, I... belonged.
Madame Devious is... strong and seductive. Razor sharp with her observations and quick to express herself without reservation. She is fair without being leanient, and I don't doubt that she could mercilessly tear me apart if I angered her (not that I would resist). Madame is also shamelessly playful too, full of devilish spontinaity. Every time I caught her eyes there was always a playful glint to suggest she was deciding what to do to me next.
Listening to Madame's voice was like drowning my eardrums in the sweetest irish whiskey, and just like when you discover a new favoured poison, I find myself addicted.
As so far as describing her energy, I have tried so hard to match it to words and every time I come up unsatisfied with my own conclusions. The best I can offer might be "deliciously evil". I can only hope that this is received as endearing as it's meant to be. Madame Devious is so far from "good" as you can get and by her, I want, long for, lust to be corrupted!
It was perfect for but a moment, and then I had to open my dumb-ass mouth to answer some questions...
OMG, I just zoned back to that moment like dejavu! What the acutal fuck was that!?
Madame Devious – Holy shit! I mean if the name doesn't suggest enough... but then, what is a name? Her energy was so off the chart I felt so savaged as if my very survival required me to submit to her power, and it's exactly what I did. On a level that I keep to myself, for myself... I was hers without even trying.
I'm not saying at all that my Ladies Sweets and Angelica aren't everything that I'd hoped, because they both were and I'd gladly serve both time and again without ever being disapointed! But I can't compute what happened to me when I was put infront on Madame Devious, only that I... what liked it? YES – but that's hardly a credit to the experience.
Honestly, I think the only way to describe even close to what I felt was to say that if my Ladies were to cross a line on my limits, I'd ofcourse consider my safe words like expected.
If Madame were to cross the same line, I'd want to keep going just because it pleases her. Madame Devious has a power to re-write my limits to her own design... and I guess my only real safty measure is trust that she won't, alteast without asking me about it first.
Is this what it is to be dominated? Did I submit out of choice or force? I know that Madame didn't exert herself over me! She didn't do a thing... but then, she didn't have to.
Questions... right! So, yes, they were pretty "un-sexy" medical questions but I understand their neccesity. I appreciated Madame's intial judgment about not doing breath play with me based on my sleep apnoea, almost as much as I appreciate her reconsidering trying some at my personal request simply because I want to try it. I made a critical mistake by calling Madame "Mistress", atleast twice! After she explained her objection and let me off for a first offence, that was enough to certainly not want to do it again, but it fell out a second time and a third... I think that has to be the fasted lesson I have ever learned! "A mistress is another man's !" A description that certainly does not fit Madame – AT ALL! I was duely disciplined for repeat transgressions of course.
While on the topic of transgressions, Here I shall mention how I broke another rule – atleast I think I did, assuming it was/is a rule. I think it was. I wasn't supposed to make eye contact with my Ladies or Madame. If I'm wrong then great. Next time will be much more enjoyable for me if I can hold eye contact.
I broke this rule a couple of times with all of my Ladies atleast once. I got caned for it with Lady Angelica... or caned by Lady Angelica for looking at... I don't know, but I kinda heard "eyes!" and then my ass hurt again.
I felt like I was being deliberatly "allowed" for the shortest of moments by Madame Devious when I was bound to the cross being paddled and whipped. Why? I dont know.
I mention it because right there – looking into Madame's eyes I learned something so very valuable that I want to express supreme gratitude to her for allowing me.
Madame would never have had to say aloud that she was a Sadist by the way she was enjoying my torture. Every strike, I'd buck, grit and groan with pain... and my pain was genuine. Every strike, I could see Madame was absorbing my pain for her pleasure. Sure as hell, I was feeding from her pleasure to fuel my own, but about that epiphony:
I learned in that moment that I didn't have to "understand" how the pain of others brings one pleasure. Just that if it would, it's okay to take that pleasure because there are those willing to give it by receiving pain for you.
I will gladly lay my ass on the line for Madame's pleasure if she desires it, and by the same measure, (I'm returning to the chat I had with Kitty on the train) I can now say with certainty that I will gladly take pleasure from inflicting pain on another if that's what they desire!
Could I dominate another? Not only "could" I, I would if I found someone I wanted to dominate and I would do to them anything they wanted me to.
I'll get back on track again – Sorry my Ladies, Madame.
I was instructed to remove my clothes and place them neatly folded on a chair. I thought I'd have more a problem with this because I have never been proud of my sack of flesh, but again I surprised myself. I took it off and knelt starkers on the floor so very un-phased. I did find a fleeting gratitude to my mother's drilling me at a young age on how to fold my clothes. It would have been so embarresing to show ineptitute here.
So, after the questions, and the accidental insults... effectivly learning my place and how to fit in it. I was guided infront of a mirror for inspection. I did hope to impress, but as I already stated, I never held myself with any esteem... until then. I was still strugling to articulate anything though nerves but when I was fitted with a<b> collar </font></b>and cuffs, I felt taller, on the inside. I was worthy. Accepted. I was putty in their hands and I would have done anything.
As I was guided over to the cross I was told that I was allowed my head above my Ladie's and Madame's. I'm glad because that cross wasn't letting anything else. I was spread, but not stretched out. It was unexpectedly comfortable, which still doesn't make sense! I did enjoy being bound to the cross, even after I broke my bonds and had to be re-attached. I don't know the full list of toys used on me during my time on the cross, but I suspect a few. I liked the knotted flogger a lot. The paddles were intense. I think there was a riding crop too. Gloved hands, and Madame's spiked glove I'm sure went across my rump. The flogger to my knackers was a sharp surprise that I wasn't ready for at all... but if I had to pick out a favorite toy – definatly Madame's vampire gloves! The sensations I got from feeling them tear my skin apart... I'm still reveling in it now a day later, and if the feeling dulls anywhere, all I have to do is apply a slight pressure down my claw marks and I'm feeling Madame raking me all over again. So good!
I recall tring to play a couple of games: a counting game that I was terrible at... but I suspect that was the point. Having to count how many times I get whipped, after I was whipped... I was screwed from the outset. I was too preoccupied absorbing all of the sexual excitement in the room. It was genuinly high on my Dommes, and the worse I did, the more they reveled and the more I took in.
Another game we played was guess who's whipping me. I did a little better at this one, but I suspect that was because I was applying a degree of logic based on where voices were coming from behind me next to the direction of the strike on my flesh. I wasn't great, but I got better than nothing.
After the last game I was taken down from the cross and told to massage Ladysweets' feet. This, I think, was a "reward"? Well, if it was, it was a "reward" for my Lady... except, she had me doing it. Talk about a consolation prize. I already said above how surprise I was with myself really not minding giving a foot rub to my Lady, but I did feel from her that I was lackluster. My Lady was nice enough to help with advice on improvement and it made me want to try harder, but really I simply wan't good enough for her pleasure in this.
I kinda recall a voice calling me to lick my Lady's foot while I held it. This was admittedly ignored for two reasons. I didn't hear Ladysweets ask me to lick her foot... and it was her foot in question. And I'm not even sure that the voice wasn't... was real. I'm not saying that I regret not licking my Lady's foot... but just licking? That and I wasn't aware that we were doing skin/skin action. I was blown away that I had my hands on her bare feet to begin with!
I'll be candid here. Just thinking about licking her feet felt like a half measure. Ladysweets does have really pretty feet, so far as feet go and although I might be clumsy with my hands my Lady may be surprised at this: I'd have no problem sucking her toes if that would ever be on the cards. If Ladysweets would get pleasure from this, all she needs do is ask – or tell... demand. Whatever.
It's as I said, I don't consider what I want from my Ladies and Madame. I'm already getting what I want without anyone realising. I'm there to please them.
So far as I can gather from a first session:
Ladysweets likes to be worshipped, predominantly foot worship?
Lady Angelica clearly likes to physically dominate with whipping and spanking. I'd also stretch to a guess at humiliation as well because she enjoyed it when I failed counting.
Madame Devious, true to name, enjoys punishing, torturing... breaking and remaking her subs. I hope she doesn't tired of trying to break me.
Now, while writting this is my homework due in tomorrow, I am also undertaking some "extra curricular" homework of my own to improve my foot massage technique. I just hope it works next time.
I have another surprise for them. I was measured as a writer because of my lengthy e-mails. Ha, if they even knew! But that's the point of the surprise. I know it's not even close to complete, but... I can't think of a better judging panel for what I've got.
I know that I'm not "conventional" by any measure. I don't think that it makes me dangerous, assuming anyone reading this has that concern... it makes my uniquly adaptable. I'm not about to jump to dominating anyone right away, I'm definatly going to enjoy submitting to my Ladies and Madame for the forseeable.

It's now Saturday and I need to send this very soon, but I wanted to summerise a few later observations: My marks are something else! I really fill with pride and pleasures when I look at them in my mirror. I have had to deal with pleasurable shudders that overtake me while working as my uniform polo shirt lightly grazes the torn skin because everytime I am taken back to your playroom being raked all over again. So far as my now quite bruised rump, I am still very careful when sitting down. It hurts for sure, but my brain keeps hitting me with dopamine reminding me that THIS pain is just so good! If I sit down too fast, I do yelp a little but it's accompanied with a deep seated satisfaction and a grin on my face.
This is all so much to keep feeling this long afterwards. I have no doubt that BDSM is better than anything vanilla I have had before now. It's for me! I am so grateful for all of your time and definatly want to return for more, assuming my Ladies and Madame would have me.
I do have but one question though, because I was so nervous and ovewhelmed and baring in mind, I do want to own BDSM for my own - I have decided that.
How much should your slave display his pleasure?
I will admit to biting my tongue so-to-speak, and not letting go entirely because I didn't know if I'd offend my Ladies and Madame. I didn't want to be seen enjoying myself more than you were, even if I might have been. In my mind, I am there for you and your pleasures... I hope I'm making sense.


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