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How long to wait?  

BendMeOver278 29F  
1582 posts
1/28/2019 5:52 am
How long to wait?

Last poll about second chances after being blown off makes me wonder...

How long do you wait for someone to show up to a first meet?
You go to meet for dinner, coffe, whatever and get don't see the other person.

No text
Just sitting and waiting.
0-5 minutes
5-10 minutes
10-20 minutes
20-30 minutes
30-45 minutes
45-60 minutes
1-2 hours
2+ hours

BendMeOver278 29F  
2757 posts
1/28/2019 5:53 am

I think twenty minutes is fair.

CleavageFan4U 63M  
62010 posts
1/28/2019 6:01 am

I voted 10 to 20 ( indicative of my impatient nature perhaps ) but also because in the airline world +/-15 minutes is considered "on-time", at which point SOME news should be given.

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BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 6:04 am:
That's that I voted and have waited before. Seems like a very decent time period with no text.

japaneseass 52F  
49427 posts
1/28/2019 6:04 am

i have a lot of car trouble, so i know things happens, so i would give the person an hour...but that's it...if he doesn't show up, and not letting me know what is going on by the end of the hour, he is out....i won't give him any more chances...and i won't contact him either...that's done...sorry....

BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 6:29 am:
That seems like a very generous time line. I'd like to think that is plenty of time to text about possible issues.

2Saltie2 26F

1/28/2019 6:06 am

Have to consider things such as weather traffic etc. If coming from work the person might of had to stay late. Not everybody can get off at exactly the time suppose to.

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BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 6:32 am:
That's very true. I do hope for some sort of text if they'll be late though.

Stevenztaylor 45M
19 posts
1/28/2019 6:15 am

20 mins max

BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 6:32 am:
That's what I voted as well.

RavenGB 59M
1100 posts
1/28/2019 6:19 am

If they can text or call you, 20 minutes almost certainly means "no show" - and nobloody manners either!

BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 7:04 am:
I do agree that twenty minutes has been my limit before. I assume the person won't make it if theyre unable to show or text that far in.

Blueyedguy823 53M  
483 posts
1/28/2019 6:31 am

I'm thinking if they are running late and they don't call after 10 minutes its a blow off... that is if you have each other's contact info. If you're waiting 20 after an online arrangement, then you might as well look somewhere else.

BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 7:05 am:
I suppose this also assumes both parties have a way to contact one another.

RobK2006 53M
5570 posts
1/28/2019 6:38 am

That happened to me awhile back. Just meeting a friend for lunch. I left after about twenty minutes or so. Figured they would have texted/messaged/called me if they were held up. I just assumed she had forgotten.

BendMeOver278 replies on 1/28/2019 7:06 am:
Twenty minutes seems good. That's a shame. Hope it didn't mess up your whole schedule.

Ienjoythetaste 71M
2570 posts
1/28/2019 6:42 am

If I haven't heard within 20 mins, then sod them.

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chocolates52 68F

1/28/2019 7:02 am

I have no problem waiting 15-20 min with no notice by 30 min late and no text or call it's over for good No 3 strikes you're out here Once is plenty for me People should show some manners

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CowboyandaGeek 38M/35F

1/28/2019 7:29 am

It's 2019 - we have the technology! If someone chooses to be late meeting either of us, for a lifestyle-related meet, without contacting us and letting us know, then clearly we made the first mistake in agreeing to meet in the first place. It may be a little different if we have prior relations with said meet, but if any first-time meet plans or hopes to be intimate with either of us, it is certainly not happening if they do not respect our time and our feelings. No one should have time for that.

VenusRedux2 45F
553 posts
1/28/2019 7:42 am

This really shouldn't be happening much. Everyone texts. Everyone. There should be regular contact leading into the meet starting long before the actual meet time. There should be texts to the effect of "Just left now, should be there in a few." If there's a stuck-in-traffic situation, that will be communicated immediately, not long afterwards by way of a semi-apology.

If the guy is incommunicado a half hour prior to the meet, he's not showing.

Cum_Happy 107M
2754 posts
1/28/2019 7:48 am

You shouldn't have to wait a minute. If the person is late to meet you, he's obviously crazy!

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SingleItalianGy2 48M  
950 posts
1/28/2019 8:43 am

Everyone deserves a 2nd chance....as for waiting. 30 minutes is my standard...after that if no contact (call or text) I am out the door. Respect is huge in my world...We all deserve the respect of a call or text at a minimum.

papis_baby_girl 41F
5296 posts
1/28/2019 8:46 am

15-20 minutes max and I'm using the time to find a backup.

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rick315875 62M
10346 posts
1/28/2019 8:57 am

I'd give it 10 minutes, then texted or call him. Are you running late?

chestman579 52M
24 posts
1/28/2019 11:32 am

might as well go and chat up someone else in the bar....

bowdrie5 69M
379 posts
1/28/2019 12:00 pm

Since I am always a t least a few minutes early, the length of time I will wait it determined by the quality of the coffee available.

citizen4722 62M  
67404 posts
1/28/2019 12:54 pm

I'd still wait an hour even if I don't hear anything via phone/text. After that, it's over!

NewName62 57M
11930 posts
1/28/2019 1:17 pm

Wait...forgive me if I missed the backstory, but were these polls prompted by someone no-showing YOU!?

Aaaaand...I just got hard.

FresnoWoman 49F
792 posts
1/28/2019 3:28 pm

Even in 2019, not everyone has a smart phone. I don't, and my regular cell phone doesn't have a text plan. However, I agree it's good to hop onto AdultFriendFinder an hour or half hour before the meet and see if there's a message or have a conversation about any last-minute rescheduling. I went to one meet 15 minutes later than the original time because he told me he needed a little more time due to work keeping him a little later than expected that evening.

I voted for the 10-20 minutes option. I usually wait 10 to 15 minutes, then leave. Traffic isn't that much of a problem here most of the time and if car troubles had come up, those usually take more time to resolve than I'm willing to wait.

Shots30 44M  
2299 posts
1/28/2019 6:29 pm

My rule is about 15 minutes. All of our time is valuable. If they had reached out it would be different. But given no contact, I think that is fair enough.

Superman4695 35M
156 posts
1/28/2019 11:22 pm

20 minutes tops I will wait awhile if they told me they will be delayed. No call/txt is pretty inexcusable like you or your time doesn't matter to them. Best have a legit reason like being pulled over for speeding that can take over 20 minutes lol

smilybob2214 36M
72 posts
1/29/2019 4:41 am

I would say up to 30 mins no more xx

DoctorBooty 39M  
6331 posts
1/29/2019 6:17 am

With no contact letting me know something, about 15-20 minutes.

With some contact and letting me know she'll be late, then I'd wait an hour. i have before when I met someone new from here.

smartasswoman 62F  
33142 posts
1/29/2019 6:48 am

It depends on where I’m waiting! If it’s a pleasant place I might as well linger a bit with my coffee or cocktail - I could wait up to 30-45 minutes (but probably would assume I’ve been stood up after 20).

Maybe I’m a weirdo but I don’t always give out my phone number before I’ve met someone in person. They could contact me through the app or whatever, bu t that isn’t so easy to do if someone is driving and stuck in traffic.

fun2bhadsoon 52M  
21 posts
1/29/2019 7:52 am

if no text or call, 20 mins max.

NudeDon69 50M  
1439 posts
1/29/2019 6:12 pm

I say about 30-60 minutes. Sometimes, life has other plans for your day.

One time at band camp; no wait, different story.

I have been late, due to a flat tire, a half flat spare, I not having my phone. Sometimes, shit happens.

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125 posts
1/29/2019 6:44 pm

i will wait 20 to 30 mins and anything longer i will leave.

thejashman 35M
72 posts
1/30/2019 6:57 am

i think 30 mns are fair enough to wait

zeke53028 61M  
1101 posts
1/30/2019 5:45 pm

10 minutes max. And a man should ALWAYS be early.

1980hwl 49M
90 posts
1/31/2019 1:16 pm

Depends on why you meeting up.

Better late then never

rubymn 99F  
363 posts
2/1/2019 9:35 pm

I'm in favour of the 30 minute mark. Shit happens, phone/charged/car/work/life/kid/other shit happens.

Additionally, I'd be insisting on meeting at one of my fave brew pubs or great happy-hour places, so I could maybe even go 60. Have a drink, grab cheap happy-hour-app dinner, or maybe even a good fave band or something. If they show, they show and that's cool, if not, I'm still having a fun time out doing my fave stuff. Fuck them if they don't show, I don't *need* them, and their loss. I don't ever put myself in a situation where I fully lose.

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PeterFills 45M
4 posts
2/3/2019 9:30 am

All depends on where I'm at. If I'm happy with the ambiance, I'll always wait longer. But typically 20 minutes is my max with no word for a first time meet. After the first 10 minutes, I start looking around for a pretty lady to share my sob story with

12713 posts
2/3/2019 2:40 pm



822231478 35M
42 posts
2/4/2019 8:51 am

5-10 mins is reasonable..
the military mentality of 15 mins early is late is probably my basis for that!!

That being said you should know long before you are actually late, that you are going to be late, and with the amount of technology we have being more than 5 mins late without a warning is inexcusable.

Now if there is a 'hey i'm running late" text then that's a completely different story

maleswallower69 47M

2/4/2019 11:00 am

I tell people flat out that I will wait 20 mins after the agreed upon time. If they cant make it and text me, then they are out of luck.

forgotforgetting 53M
7139 posts
2/5/2019 9:52 am

Think college rules: after 15 mins, class is cancelled.

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coffeeaddiction7 39M
13 posts
2/6/2019 8:17 pm

10-20 is an acceptable amount of time. If you both agreed on a time and place then any number of things could have happened. Traffic issues, running behind leaving the house, late getting ready. These things happen. But if there's no call or text or any sort of notification after 20, sorry. Time to move on.

Chapter22018 53M
11 posts
2/7/2019 2:48 pm

A text or a call is all that is needed. then hopefully the cell phones disappear for the rest of the night

CuriousCpl6774 52M/46F  
156 posts
2/9/2019 8:14 am

Being a couple, we have a luxury that single men and women do not have. We’ve been stood up, so many times, we lost count. It didn’t take us long to alter our approach. Now, we have a plan A and a plan B. Plan A, of course, is to meet with the beautiful woman with whom we agreed to meet. Plan B is that we make alternate plans for a date-night, for just the two of us, if she doesn’t show.

We’ve never, not once, stood anyone up. We’re sorry if you’ve been experiencing that lately.

nostalgic68 60M
366 posts
2/10/2019 6:12 pm

I honestly don't understand no shows. Not that I haven't experienced them but later I came to find out they were fake profiles. Who knows who they really are. Kids? But its happened enough times that I realize it for what it is when it occurs.

Dust the sand off your sandals, square your hat, chin up, move on. NEXT!

nostalgic68 60M
366 posts
2/10/2019 6:14 pm

japaneseass:i have a lot of car trouble, so i know things happens,

If they aren't respectful enough to text you, then who needs them?

Buckandbull 54M
43 posts
2/14/2019 1:52 pm

I am a patient person. I would wait up to 45, just to be sure nothing happened to them.

Justfun1125 36M

2/27/2019 9:26 pm

20-30 mins. They should call or text if they are running late. If they do then I would wait longer.

69ereatwetpussy 58M
3252 posts
3/17/2019 8:22 pm

Just my opinion If you have a set time and places and you are they on time and the other party is late ten minutes ok. If you have not herd from that party either at the time of the meet or ten minutes after depends where I'm at I'm heading out. If I'm in a bar I'll be looking for a fund lady buy her a drink if the other party walks in oh well her lose to late or hope the lady I'm talking two want to do a three some lololol.

Eagerforit61 59M  
68 posts
6/6/2019 12:34 am

My personal experience, ending in complete and utter frustration, was attempting TWO meets with a lady in downtown Chicago. I'm in the SW burbs and allowed ample time, allowing for normal heavy, slow traffic to arrive only to find huge delays due to accidents on I-55. This lady refused to share her phone number so there was no way to text or call. I guess it was just not meant to be.
I voted for 1 hour since that would have allowed for our meet to have consummated.

TheJoeKerr 39M
34 posts
7/12/2019 4:35 pm

20 min leeway. 30 minutes only if she shows up with a legitimate excuse.

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