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Jobhunters : Make a note
Posted:Oct 12, 2010 4:10 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 10:46 pm
3231 Views

Applying to McDonald's

It may be an Urban Legend, but this is supposedly an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida. Legend says they hired him because he was so honest and funny, maybe like Ronald.

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.
0 Comments
Love Stinks
Posted:Oct 11, 2010 3:27 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 10:46 pm
3146 Views

You love her
but she loves him
And he loves somebody else
you just can't win
And so it goes
till the day you die
This thing they call love
it's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
the reds and the pinks
One thing's for sure
(Love stinks)

(chorus)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

Two by two
and side by side
Love's gonna find you
yes it is
you just can't hide
You'll hear it call
your heart will fall
Then love will fly
it's gonna soar
I don't care for
any Casanova thing
All I can say is
(Love stinks)

(chorus)

I've been through diamonds
I've been through minks
I've been through it all
(Love stinks)


~J.Geils Band~
0 Comments
Nothing to be done
Posted:Oct 7, 2010 7:12 am
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2010 9:42 pm
3367 Views

Why are we here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come.

~Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett~
1 comment
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces
Posted:Oct 6, 2010 11:32 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2010 12:19 am
3320 Views

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop
Corollary: It will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the others

Damn that Murphy guy...
0 Comments
`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
Posted:Oct 5, 2010 11:43 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2010 4:24 pm
3238 Views

"`Cheshire Puss,' [Alice] began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.
`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
`--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'"
"`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you know that you're mad?'
`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant that?'
`I suppose so,' said Alice.
`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'"

~Alice in Wonderland~
0 Comments
People are People
Posted:Oct 3, 2010 5:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 10:46 pm
3083 Views

People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get
Along so awfully
People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get
Along so awfully

So we're different colours
And we're different creeds
And different people have different needs
It's obvious you hate me
Though I've done nothing wrong
I've never ever met you so what could I have done

I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

People are people...

Help me understand
Help me understand

Now you're punching
And you're kicking
And you're shouting at me
I'm relying on your common decency
So far it hasn't surfaced
But I'm sure it exists
It just takes a while to travel
From your head to your fists

I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

~Depeche Mode~
0 Comments
Moondance
Posted:Oct 1, 2010 9:07 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 10:46 pm
3075 Views

Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies

And all the leaves on the trees are fallin'
To the sound of the breezes that blow
An' I'm trying to please to the callin'
Of your heart strings that play soft and low

And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush
Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?
Can I just make some more romance with you, my love?

Well, I wanna make love to you tonight
I can't wait 'til the morning has come
And I know now the time is just right
And straight in to my arms you will run

And when you come, my heart will be waiting
To make sure that you're never alone
There and then, all my dreams will come true, dear
There and then, I will make you my own

And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside
And I know how much you want me that you can't hide
Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?
Can I just make some more romance with you, my love?

Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies

And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart strings that play soft and low

And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush
Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?
Can I just make some more romance with you, my love?

One more moon dance with you
In the moon light, on a magic night
All the moon light, on a magic night
Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?

~Van Morrison~
0 Comments
Brandy { You're a Fine Girl }
Posted:Oct 1, 2010 6:52 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2010 6:30 pm
2943 Views

There's a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes

And there's a girl in this harbor town
And she works layin' whiskey down
They say "Brandy, fetch another round"
She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say "Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
"What a good wife you would be" (such a fine girl)
"Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea"

Brandy wears a braided chain
Made of finest silver from the North of Spain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Brandy loves

He came on a summer's day
Bringin' gifts from far away
But he made it clear he couldn't stay
No harbor was his home

The sailor said " Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
"What a good wife you would be" (such a fine girl)
"But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea"

Yeah, Brandy used to watch his eyes
When he told his sailor stories
She could feel the ocean foam rise
She saw its ragin' glory

But he had always told the truth, lord, he was an honest man
And Brandy does her best to understand

At night when the bars close down
Brandy walks through a silent town
And loves a man who's not around
She still can hear him say

She hears him say " Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
"What a good wife you would be" (such a fine girl)
"But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea"

"Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)

"What a good wife you would be" (such a fine girl)
"But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea"

~Looking Glass~
0 Comments
Spanish Caravan
Posted:Sep 30, 2010 10:45 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2010 1:49 pm
3077 Views

Carry me Caravan take me away
Take me to Portugal, take me to Spain
Andalusia with fields full of grain
I have to see you again and again
Take me, Spanish Caravan
Yes, I know you can

Trade winds find Galleons lost in the sea
I know where treasure is waiting for me
Silver and gold in the mountains of Spain
I have to see you again and again
Take me, Spanish Caravan
Yes, I know you can

~The Doors~
2 Comments
Hotel California
Posted:Sep 28, 2010 5:16 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2010 7:37 pm
3067 Views

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

There she stood in the doorway, I heard the mission bell
Then I was thinking to myself this could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor I thought I heard them say

"Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year
(Any time of year)
You can find it here"

Her mind is Tiffany twisted, she got the Mercedes Bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the captain, "Please bring me my wine"
He said, "We haven't had that spirit here since 1969"
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night just to hear them say

"Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They're living it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise
(What a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis"

Mirrors on the ceiling, the pink champagne on ice
And she said, "We are all just prisoners here of our own device"
And in the master's chambers they gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
"Relax," said the night man, "We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like but you can never leave"

~Eagles~
1 comment
Silent Lucidity
Posted:Sep 28, 2010 12:58 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2010 6:53 am
3030 Views

Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?

There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax , you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension

I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity

-spoken during solo-
[Visualize your dream]
[Record it in the present tense]
[Put it into a permanent form]
[If you persist in your efforts]
[You can achieve dream control]
[Dream control]
[How's that then, better?]
[Dream control]
[Dream control]
[Dream control]
[Dream control]
[Help me]

If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...

I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....

~Queensryche~
1 comment
More Pearls, without the Oysters...
Posted:Sep 27, 2010 4:20 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 10:46 pm
2925 Views

*taps the screen* ok hello? you still here? wow... I'm partially
impressed. I'm guessing y'all need a breather and a new decoder
ring by now.

I won't go into the it's me-it's not you spiel , if you missed it
go back to a few previous posts.


Cliff Notes


Time in a Bottle

As I replied to the posting made to this song... I've always
thought this was a very sweet, romantic wanting sort of tune.
Live your life now... speak your heart... be thankful, kind and
loving to the person that will put up with yer azz. Because if
you won't...someone else will...

Shower the People

Ahhh James Taylor.. such a warm and fuzzy writer. I had the happy
occurance of getting to hear JT as well as Carol King in concert
this summer with a best friend of mine. It was like a hippie
spiritual happy service... we all sang. A whole stadium sang.
Ever been a part of that? That is a collective buzz and hum of
Life. And no...we were not drunk or stoned... can't speak for
everyone, though... *LOL*

Banana Boat Song

I dare you not to think of Beetleguise when you hear this song
play.

"I've seen the Exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!"

Time Passages

Hey, wanna hear something reeeeally scary.. somewhere along the
way I became an adult. No, really... my 25th HS reunion is in
November. I have grey hair... I yell at on my lawn...
Yanno, I just turned around and...

I'm a Bitch, I'm a Lover

No, I'm not a bitch... unless you are trying to push my buttons.
What I am is something very complex and yet very simple. Know
anything about Taoism? I am everything and I am nothing. I am
everyone and I am noone... Don't overthink...


Waiting for the End


Heard this the day I posted it. If you have not found it yet-
do so... it will be a pleasant earworm.

This is not the end
This is not the beginning

Kyrie

Remember this one? I had this on tape {that is preCD/ipodish for
you youngins} that was what my best friend from college would
play reeeeally loud when we drove out in W. PA. My old Honda
Accord...Bright sunny days hiking... frozen fuzzy navel beverages
in my room on Thursday nights while watching the Cosby show...
Ahhhh... long ago.. in a place far, far away...

Repo Man

Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues
And you know it don't come easy

All Star

OK, you know that path that "they" tell you to take.. yeah it's
nice...probably safe.. but not one you'd usually find me on.
I trailblaze... I circumvent... I create solutions... or as you
Geek gamers would say: I disbelieve. If I believe it can be done-
it will be...

It's a kewl world.. WTH are you doing sitting behind a computer
screen reading dis chit?

0 Comments
All Star
Posted:Sep 27, 2010 2:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 10:46 pm
2779 Views

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger
And her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead

Well the years start coming, and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking The Backstreet?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now, you're an all star get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now wait till you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire, how about your's?
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Hey now, you're an all star get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star get the show on, get paid
All that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

Hey now, you're an all star get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said, "Yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change"

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking The Backstreet?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now, you're an all star get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

~Smash Mouth~
0 Comments

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