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Going to the Meet-Up and we’re gonna get married?  

CarpeJamie 51M
45 posts
9/16/2021 10:58 am
Going to the Meet-Up and we’re gonna get married?

Ok those aren’t the<b> lyrics </font></b>to Chapel of Love ... and I’m not for a serious relationship at this time, given that I’m recently coming out of one. But, I am open to developing a friendship and explore the possibilities that may flow from it.

This weekend I’m going to my first Meet and Greet for AF.F members in my local chat room. There seems to be a great deal of excitement from fellow chatters, that this meet-up is happening. I think there’s a lot of COVID fatigue and pent-up desire to get out and meet others again. For me, two emotions are front and center in my heart and mind: Excitement and Dread.

I am very much forward to meeting the people I’ve been chatting with for the past month and seeing if there is real connection between us. At the same time, I’m dreading getting out of my comfort zone and shyness and having full-on conversations with relative strangers. When you’re hiding behind a computer screen and an anonymous handle, it’s easy to be brave, bold and brazen; but in person it becomes real … communication becomes 3-Dimensional and more. Body language, facial expressions, subtext will reveal the true you. My fellow chatters will have a window into my soul and I theirs.
Will the person in real life match my musings of the on-line persona I’ve come to know? I’ve tried to be authentic in the chat room … I assume most everyone else has been too….if they have not, I’m sure their deception will ring through in person. Who will be there? Ms. Right? Ms. Right now? Will the event live up to my expectations, surpass them? I hope. The countdown begins 3, 2, 1 ….

Tell me about the first Meet-Up you attended or chose not to attend. What were the highs, the lows, the regrets that you had? What tips and tricks made the event successful for you? What pitfalls did you encounter that I should avoid? Comment in the text box below. Inquiring minds to know.

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Crazyfairy42574 47F
800 posts
10/26/2021 1:56 am

The first event I went to from the site was dreadful! Like you I'm rather shy around people who I don't know. I do not like being the center of attention.
We had been on here for a while chatting and got invited to a party at a local hotel. My husband at the Tim and I and a friend of ours all went, it was fun at first. Everyone sat the chatting and drinking and listening to music. Then the other fun started. The youngest and by far cutest man in the room went to one of the bedrooms. The women at the party all had their turn with him. Then I was encouraged to go take my turn. I went in there and he was laying on the bed nekid and half passed out from drinking. I didn't take my clothes off, I just lay down beside him and started talking to him. I asked him if he was enjoying himself and if he was really wanting to do this. He said no not really but felt he didn't have a choice. About then I heard a noise behind me and looked over my shoulder to find everyone from the party standing in the doorway watching. I was pissed. I grabbed my husband and friend and we left.
After that, no more hotel parties. I started setting up meet and greets at local diners and coffee shops. The main rule was no sex. This was to get to know each other and see if you wanted to hook up. If you went and did fine. But it was not a requirement for showing up.

CarpeJamie replies on 10/27/2021 10:41 am:
Thank you for sharing that experience and cautionary tale. It is very troubling that the gentleman in your account felt like he didn't have a choice; and even moreso that he was half passed out from drinking. Good on you for choosing not to continue with a situation where peer pressure seemed to dominate. For some it would be hard to do so. So many women in our society have experience being taken advantage of and much worse by mem. Your strategy of consent is obviously the best way to be with someone. And for sure getting to know one another will lead to a more fulfilling experience for all involved.

1seeking1 56F
3750 posts
9/17/2021 12:30 pm

Thanks for the information

CarpeJamie replies on 9/26/2021 7:27 pm:
The location is still tentative for the Ottawa area meet up because the restaurant is currently under renovations ... but it should be done by the Oct. 16 weekend. The tentative location is the brew table restaurant in Bells Corner from 7pm to 11 p.m.; if the reno's aren't done they'll change the venue to somewhere a short distance away.

CarpeJamie replies on 10/15/2021 11:20 pm:
In case you haven't heard. The meet up in Ottawa tomorrow has been postponed.... hopefully not indefinitely

positively4you 72F  
4523 posts
9/16/2021 5:56 pm

My advice…
1. The standard be your authentic self
2. Have condoms. 😉

CarpeJamie replies on 11/28/2021 11:49 pm:
I like your optimism regarding having condoms. Always better safe than sorry.

missthee 55F  
4462 posts
9/16/2021 1:45 pm

Having been to meetups organized by discussion groups and forum pages ( not from here - sadly there is no active local "community" of AFFers) one thing I noticed is that it's difficult to be friendly with everyone at the same time. Clusters form so that you miss out on talking to all the people you had planned to do so with.

CarpeJamie replies on 9/16/2021 2:49 pm:
Hopefully a community develops for you. You make a good point that I may have to make a concerted effort to not linger too long with one group or another. Again, there's the rub ... to chat and have deeper conversation OR flit around like a bee.

CarpeJamie replies on 9/19/2021 8:04 am:
Well you were definitely right that clusters form ... even with a small group. For me the problem was that I took a seat and stayed there. So I ended talking to only a few people for a long time. I did want to talk to everyone, for just a bit--but it didn't happen. Oh well, I'll just have to go to another meet to talk to those people I missed.

spunkycumfun 61M/66F  
39488 posts
9/16/2021 1:23 pm

I've never done a chat-up or a meet-up but I hope it's a good one for you.

CarpeJamie replies on 9/16/2021 2:42 pm:
Thank you. I'll let you know how it goes!

CarpeJamie replies on 9/19/2021 8:09 am:
I will write a full blog post about the experience. But the short version is I'm very glad I went. It was eye opening, maybe more so because it was a small group of 8 of us chatters. Meeting in person reveals so much more than the cybersphere does! Definitely worthwhile as it allows for you to see if there really is a connection between you and another. I heard stories of wild meet-ups of the past...this one very tame -- but it was COVID friendly outside in the middle of the afternoon.

1seeking1 56F
3750 posts
9/16/2021 1:15 pm

Lucky you, no meet ups here. I attended on years ago, organizers and attendees were friendly and welcoming. Yes I was a bit nervous, had a good time. Was hoping to attend more, group fizzled out and then Pandemic. Maybe one day they will start up again.

CarpeJamie replies on 9/16/2021 2:41 pm:
I know a number of people in your area that are keen for a meet-up. Someone just needs to get the ball rolling ... I'll spread the word -- hopefully the universe responds in kind. Best!

CarpeJamie replies on 9/17/2021 8:55 am:
According to sources in Ontario. There will be a meet-up on October 18 at 8 pm in the Ottawa area. More details to follow as it becomes available.

author51 58F  
126394 posts
9/16/2021 11:27 am

My first meet ups have been with fellow bloggers mostly and men of interest I have met both in my chat room and through messages.. Have a great time..

You can never have enough JOY in your life...xoxo


CarpeJamie 51M
122 posts
9/16/2021 11:13 am

Even though I haven't met people in person. I have chatted with them about many things over the past month. I think the past conversations we've had will enable a starting off point for in-person conversation. Good luck to all who take the chance to attend their first Meet-Up.

If you wish to contact me, I've setup a private Mailbox Private message Area WHAT39S IN THE VAULT STAYS IN THE VAULT in my Blog. CarpeJamie

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