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Tim and Abbie 51: The thing about Mark 1  

Clairew1959 62F  
96 posts
3/22/2021 12:01 pm
Tim and Abbie 51: The thing about Mark 1


Mark’s head is against the steering wheel, tears running down his face, equal to the rain hitting against the car’s windshield. He tries calling the on his phone for the sixth time in the last three hours. Still no answer. Nor have there been any replies to his numerous texts.
‘Damn, damn, damn. I have finally fucked up so bad that I’ve ruined everything,’ Mark laments to himself as he bangs his head against the wheel. Even his last text about him probably being too drunk to drive home did not get any response.
‘Mark, you ass, you are just a piece of trash like dad said,’ he reproaches himself. ‘The one good thing in your life, and you just had to fuck it up.’
Mark is too drunk, or he might have seen that his texts have not been read. But knowing that, at the moment, would just have upset him more. Mark can’t stop crying. He feels like it is the end of his world. And Mark had only started to feel alive this last winter.
For now, Mark is too upset even to start the car. And Mark has learned not to drive when he had drunk too much. One more thing, of so many, he has learned this last year. This begins a new bout of crying.
Mark sits in his car, tears streaming down his face, remembering.
oOo
It had been back in the winter, one Friday night, watching the match in this pub. Mark with his mates, Tim was even there then. A man was sitting at the bar watching the game between his team and Mark’s side. Mark began his regular chant about one team, or the other being homos, from how they are playing. Mark was the crudest of the lot of Tim’s pals. Often he would easily trip over the line of enjoying a drink and being drunk. And then there was no stopping what came out of his mouth.
Mark kept going on and on. After loud comments for an hour, Mark, wanting another pint, went up to the bar next to the man sitting. Ranting about what queers and fairies his team was. Complaining, they were playing so miserably, tripping over their feet all the time.
The man, probably in his late thirties or early forties, turned to Mark and calmly said in a clear voice for all to hear, “Actually, tripping over your feet is more a hetero thing, isn’t it? I thought fairies and queers were graceful and danced around.”
The whole bar was silent. Mark stood there for a moment with a dumb look on his face, like not comprehending, but then burst out laughing. He told the man he was right. While the team all looks like they had something up their asses, dancing was the last thing they were doing.
Mark ended up talking to the man for almost an hour as the game went on. He was slapping his back and acting like a long-lost friend. Early on, he introduced himself and learned that the gentleman’s name was Brian. There was something about Brian that Mark was drawn to. His quiet wit, knowledge, and comprehension became apparent as they chatted, and his endearing smile when he looked at Mark.
All his mates and their wives and girlfriends had left when the game was over. But Mark stayed and talked more with Brian. Mark like everything about Brian, all he had already noticed, but also his looks. Every time Mark looked at Brian, he felt absorbed in his clear blue eyes, and his dark hair sprinkled heavily with silver strands.
Brian was friendly to him, though somewhat warily. Mark was humorous in his own way when not on his homophobic soapbox. Mark had some interesting points of view on other topics. Brian stayed also. For another hour or so, he and Mark chatted.
Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, Mark kept on drinking as they talked as he found himself nervous in some way. When Brian said he should be going, Mark said he was too. They walked to the parking lot together. Brian noticed that Mark was in no shape to drive, so he steered him to his own car, saying he would drive Mark home.
Mark did not live that far away, and in any other circumstances, would have argued with anyone suggesting he needed a ride home. The idea of a few more minutes with Brian made Mark accept the ride at once. In the car, Brian asked Mark directions and found the way to Mark’s flat without too much trouble.
Pulling up in front of the complex, Mark turns to Brian. He placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder and said, “Thanks, buddy, this is kind of you to look out for me.” And doing so, he leaned in and kissed Brian on the lips. The passion that ran through him at that moment was incredible. Something Mark had never experienced before.
Brian barely responded to the kiss but did allow Mark to press his tongue into Brian’s mouth just a bit. Brian did enjoy the sensation of Mark’s lips on his but knew Mark was in no condition to understand what he was doing.
“Mark,” Brian replied, “I’m not sure you are going to make it to your door on your own right now. Let me you.” Saying this, Brian got out of the car, walked around to the passenger door, and helped Mark out. Getting the flat out of Mark and his keys to enter the building was a bit of an effort. Finally, in Mark’s flat, Brian steered him to the couch when Mark passed out.
Brian tried to make Mark comfortable, taking his shoes off and finding a pillow for his head and afghan for over him. Then took a minute to brush the hair from Mark’s eyes and look down on him.
The kiss from Mark had been surprising and rather thrilling. It had been a while since Brian had been with anyone. To be kissed such a homophobic was astonishing. What were Mark’s true leanings?
“Buddy,” Brian said, using Mark’s term, “What are you looking for? Could you really?” Brian knew Mark could not hear him, but looking down at him, Brian allowed his mind to wander a bit.
Taking a few minutes to find paper and pen, Brian wrote a short note for Mark to see when he woke up. The message gave Brian’s cell and said that if Mark needed a ride back to the pub to get his car to let him know, and he would come to get him.
The next morning, waking, not completely remembering everything at first, Mark saw the note. Everything came back in focus, and Mark felt himself harden some remembering the kiss.
Mark had played the stud since puberty when he was captain of the football team. He never dated any one girl for any length of time, but he always tried to have his way with them. Which never really satisfied Mark in the same way as seeing his teammates in the shower. He suppressed this side of himself, and yes, often overdoing the gay-bashing to compensate.
Mark blushed to himself. Yes, he had been drunk. But still, to have been that forward to kiss Brian. It was wonderful just that little kiss. He liked Brian, had fun talking with him, and did want to see him again. ‘But in what way?’ Mark pondered.
While Mark could easily have called a cab to take him to his car, reading the note for the fifth time, Mark caught the note's emphasis. Brian wrote it not as a polite offer but as a fact – he would come to get Mark. Mark was stirred this and took time trying to think what to say and then called Brian.
Brian agreed to get Mark to collect his car from the pub. He asked if Mark wanted to meet him out in front of the building, or should he come up first to Mark’s flat?
Mark mumbled to come up to his flat first, he guessed. And then Mark spent the next hour with butterflies in his stomach trying to pick out the best outfit to<b> wear. </font></b>He reprimanded himself for being so silly, and Brian could not be interested in him at all.
And with that thought crossing his mind, Mark had a huge moment of self-awareness.
Never, never would Mark consider himself being gay. Sure all the times with women, even when they were sucking him off, he had not felt stirred. And several times, he could not even get hard enough to enter the woman. On those occasions, to save his self-respect, Mark would blame the woman for not stirring him or such.
Sure he enjoyed seeing his teammates in the shower after a game, their lean, firm bodies with water dripping off them. It wasn’t as if he gave himself away with a saluting cock at those times. ‘Wait, what? He liked looking but would have never considered it a sign that he had such leanings,’ Mark chastised himself.
So what if most of his erotic dreams were filled with naked, well-built men. Mark never acted on any impulses or thought his feelings through. God him if he had when his father was alive. Mark’s father would have beaten him harder than he ever had, thinking his was becoming a queer.
Mark’s father was now dead for a few years. His and sisters would accept anything Mark did as perfect, so some of the worst barriers have been lifted. But again, did Mark want ‘barriers lifted?’ His feelings were so flip-flopping in his stomach. All Mark knew was he was going to see Brian again soon, and it made him feel so different. Actually happy and hopeful, something Mark rarely was.
When Brian arrived, they stiffly greeted each other. Brian suggested they sit down and chat a bit before getting the car. Mark knew it was to talk about what happened the night before, but he wasn’t sure what to say.
Brian was kind as he said, “I have a feeling what happened last night was the first time you ever did anything like that.” Mark hung his head and began to apologize profusely. Acknowledging that he did not even know if Brian was gay or not. He could only blame being rather drunk for acting that way.
Brian commented that he thought it was much more than Mark being drunk for him to act on such an impulse. Mark might need to confront and acknowledge his inklings. Brian then made Mark’s heart sing when he told Mark that, apart from Mark’s braggart ways and homophobic comments, Brian was attracted to him – who knew why.
Brian emphasized that he did not like Mark’s homophobic comments and behavior. He explained calmly to Mark that some males, becoming aware of their leanings, go to that level to ignore what they are really feeling. Looking fully at Brian now, trying to listen and understand, Mark was engulfed in Brian’s blue eyes.
Brian, actually in his early forties now, was an attractive man. He was over six feet tall, nicely built (from what Mark could see), and had a tan that just played off against his silvering hair. He had such a kind expression even when speaking about what he did not like, and his smile sent impulses crashing through Mark each time he did.
Mark, from Brian’s point of view, was good-looking himself. About five foot ten inches tall. Mark had dark brown eyes and brown hair. Hair that so often fell over his eyes, begging for Brian to brush it aside. Like Brian had before leaving last night. Mark was a bit muscular but was starting to get a beer belly.
They talked more as Mark tried to concentrate hard on what was being said. Brian calmly told him that, yes, he was gay. It had been almost a year since he was with anyone. While surprised at Mark’s advance in the car, Brian did enjoy the kiss.
Mark’s face reddened hearing this. Brian was so taken with his blushing face and those locks of hair falling over his eyes. Brian leaned toward Mark, brushed the hair aside, took his face in both hands. Brian pulled Mark to him for their first real kiss. The kiss went on for several minutes, during which Mark flung his arms around Brian’s neck as they did.
The feelings of arousal ran through Mark at that moment bring the fact home to him that, one, yes, he must be gay; and two, he so wants to be with Brian whatever way Brian wanted. Shit, he would be Brian’s slut if he wanted Mark to be. Anything to be blessed with seeing Brian smile at him.
It took a while for the two to pull apart, but Brian gently pushed Mark back, apart, still facing each other. Brian’s face was red, from the emotions running through him, but also that he acted so impulsively before finding out if Mark was gay or if last night it was just due to being drunk that he had kissed him.
Composing himself, Brian acknowledged to himself that the kiss did show Mark’s interest. “Buddy, we have a lot to talk about before this goes further. It is clear this is your first time with another man on any level, even just kissing. And probably even acknowledging these feelings to yourself, let alone anyone else. I am attracted to you and want to get to know you better. And if nothing else, you understand the emotions and desires you have,” Brian said.
“First, let’s go get your car, and we can take it from there,” Brian continued. Still reeling from the sensations that crashed through him as they kissed, Mark can only nod his head.
“Give me a minute to go take a piss,” Mark told Brian, who only smiled, knowing what Mark needed to deal with at the moment. It was very noticeable in the crotch of Mark’s pants. And Brian’s smile was also for the outline he saw there.
“Take your time,” Brian replied. He needed a moment to calm and shift himself also. In the short drive to the pub to retrieve the car, Mark wondered, ‘Is this going to be the end of seeing Brian today?’ Mark wanted nothing else than to be with Brian today, tomorrow, for as long as he could.
That kiss answered everything for Mark. Well, as far as knowing that no girl, woman, female, whatever they are now, ever made him feel the way Brian did. Brian’s lips, soft but firm; his tongue playing in his mouth sent such rumbling through his body. Just kissing Brian had made Mark hard. So much so that a little precum escaped, which Mark hope wasn’t visible.
Brian sensed Mark’s sudden uneasiness. They would have to go slow to be sure Mark understood completely and was comfortable with what it meant to be sexually intimate with another male. Brian reached over and placed his hand over Mark’s and squeezed it.
“Hey, buddy, are you okay? Do you have plans for later? If not, after getting your car back home, would you like to go out to dinner with me?” Brian asked.
Mark was relishing Brian calling him ‘buddy.’ He said it is such a sweet way that it felt like it meant so much more than Mark just being a pal or his mate. Brian was not sure why he kept calling Mark ‘buddy,’ at first was mimicking Mark using the term to him.
Mark squeezed Brian’s hand in return and said he would love to go to dinner with Brian. At that moment, Mark didn’t care where they would go, who would see them, or what they might think. He just wanted to be with Brian. Feel Brian’s lips on his again.
Those feelings of not caring who saw them and such would not last long. As Mark became more aware of what was happening, he was not ready to come out of the closet yet. Though over time, Mark was striving to reach the point to open that door. Holding Brian’s hand where no one could see felt so right.
His car returned to his flat; Mark again climbed into Brian’s car. Before he put his seatbelt on, Mark leaned over and kissed Brian again. “Thank you for helping me get my car. And for looking out for me last night and driving me home. Let me for dinner to show my gratitude to you,” Mark said as he pulled back from the kiss.
“Buddy, you do not owe me anything, and I invited you. Let me take care of you,” Brian replied, realizing that ‘buddy’ was now his pet name for Mark. A term of endearment Brian could use in public without raising eyebrows, but both knew what it really meant between them.
Holding Mark’s hand the whole way, Brian drives them to an upscale restaurant about thirty kilometers away. They chatted about the scenery this wintery day and how nice that the sun was out. They debated the merits of one football team over another and other things with no real meaning.
When they entered the restaurant and were lead to their table, Brian put his hand on Mark’s back between his shoulders to urge him to go first. Brian’s hand stayed there until seated at their table. Mark knew he needed to control himself. From just a casual touch like that Brian, he could feel himself start to stiffen.
The dinner was fabulous. The food so tasty, but it could have been sawdust for all Mark noticed. He was again mesmerized Brian. They talked about their jobs. Brian was a senior vice president at one of the larger banks. He was the head of their commercial loans department. Mark was astonished at Brian’s job. He would have never imagined someone of such stature would have wandered into the pub, and his life, last night.
Brian talked about his position, duties, and responsibilities in such a downplayed way. He was not trying to impress Mark but sharing pieces of his life for Mark to know him better.
Mark, in turn, explained his job as the head buyer for the grocery chain. With pride in his voice, he explained that he was responsible for the grocery stores moving to include more and more upscale and unique items. For the first time, Mark was not bragging about his accomplishments, but as Brian did, explaining about his job.
Mark outlined how he realized with the proliferation of cooking shows now available, even everyday housewives wanted to try the recipes and wanted a convenient place to purchase the ingredients. The smile he received from Brian felt like more praise and recognition than the raise and bonus he got after starting this new line.
They talked about things they liked to do, working out a couple of times a week, types of movies and music they enjoyed, all the fabrics of a first date. As they talked between courses, Brian would reach under the table and take Mark’s hand. Feeling Brian’s flesh against his, even if just their hands, sent a kaleidoscope of tingles through Mark’s body.
After dinner, Brian drove Mark back home. Parking the car, he got out with Mark and walked him to his door. Mark was so glad he was not leaving yet and treating him like a proper date seeing him home and safe. Then Mark blushed thinking, ‘Ass, ‘proper date’? While you might be changing the side you play on, you are not some teenage girl out with someone for the first time.’
Needless to say, Mark invited him in, and as soon as the door was closed behind them, they were in each other’s arms, kissing and pressing their bodies together. They worked their way to the couch, and as Brian sat, Mark straddled his lap, facing him as they continued to kiss.
Mark moved closer, so through their pants, their cocks were rubbing against each other as they both got harder and harder. It was not just Mark who was so turned on feeling the size of the other.
Coming to his senses, and knowing they needed to slow down, Brian broke their kiss. Shifted Mark so he was still straddling Brian’s lap but now arm’s length apart. “Buddy, we need to slow down some. There are things we need to talk seriously about. This is all so new and exciting for you, but we need to take it slow—one step at a time. I don’t want to go too fast, and you freak out,” Brian said.
“Mark, do you understand what I am saying?” he finished.
Mark so wanted to rush in headfirst to this exciting new world of emotions and feelings. He did understand, and Brian taking this stand for them both endeared him to Mark even more. “I understand Brian, thank you for thinking for both of us. I want something to build between us, and I do have many things to work out. We will go at the pace you set for us,” Mark said in a small, soft voice.
Hearing Mark’s reply Brian so wanted to devour him fully right then but keeps himself in check. He pulled Mark to him, so Mark’s head was Brian’s shoulder, and gently rubbed up and down Mark’s back. “Don’t worry, little buddy. We will have fun working our way through as you discover new things. It will be at the pace where you feel comfortable. But now I should get going. It is rather late,” Brian said.
At the door, before opening it, Brian kissed Mark deeply one last time. “Sweetie, those kisses are going to be in my dreams tonight,” Brian said as he swats Mark’s ass in goodbye.
After Brian left, Mark squeezed himself with excitement. He has no clear idea what will be involved but knows that just a touch, or a kiss, from Brian makes him feel so wonderful. Oh, the mechanics of them fully being together Mark understood in a basic way, but he was a bit vague on what specifically happens.
Then from the moments of glee he was feeling, Mark fell into a pit of despair. Mark realized they made no plans for the next time to see each other. He sulked a bit over that. Mark always did fling from one extreme of emotions to the other. More so than Tim ever was, Mark’s feelings of inferiority were just under the surface. The difference was, Mark was a master of hiding his feelings as a protective measure all these years.
A half-hour later, Mark’s phone dinged that he had a text. Mark smiled as he read Brian’s message that he just wanted Mark to know he was home safe. Mark replied with banal comments, and they texted back and forth for almost an hour.
Brian told Mark to get ready for bed as they texted. Mark did, telling Brian as he took each bit of his clothes off. Brian responded in like texts. Finally, when both were in bed naked, they said their final good night.
oOo
Sniffing and rubbing his red eyes, Mark in his car, in the rain, feels like the loneliest man in the world. That first day together had been so magical. The rocket he had felt learning that Brian was interested in him too. Even with his flaws, Brian liked him and wanted to him enter that new world into which Mark was stepping.
‘And then you had to screw it up,’ Mark laments to himself. ‘You knew what Brian had warned you about, but you just had to act like an ass.’
Mark is now feeling so remorseful for what he did to Tim and Abbie. Well, Abbie, really. It was all a reflex to protect himself. For the first time since this all started earlier this evening, Mark thinks about others rather than himself.
Tim and Abbie. A couple? Mark was surprised about that and that Tim would enter into such a relationship. Well, look at himself and the changes in his own life this year. Yes, Abbie is gorgeous, and they seem so devoted to each other. Like how he and Brian had been.
Worrying that it is all in the past for Brian and him, a new bout of tears starts flowing from Mark. Competing against the rain beating against the car.

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