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If You're Gonna Use A Label...  

Dark_Wolfmoon 45F  
36 posts
10/13/2021 8:44 am
If You're Gonna Use A Label...


gay
adjective
(of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man).
"the city's gay and lesbian people"
noun
a homosexual person (typically referring to a man).
"the capital is a popular destination for gays and lesbians from all over the world"
(Oxford Languages)

Gay is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term originally meant 'carefree', 'cheerful', or 'bright and showy'. While scant usage referring to homosexuality dates to the late 19th century, that meaning became increasingly common by the mid-20th century.
(Wikipedia)

Walk with me... walk with me...

bisexual
adjective
sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women
noun
a person who is sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender.
(Oxford Languages)

Bisexuality is an attraction to more than one gender. Those who identify as bisexual feel a sexual and/or romantic attraction to people of a different gender as well as their own. While this offers a basic definition, bisexual people are a diverse<b> group. </font></b>Each individual perceives their sexual orientation differently.
(WebMD)

Keep walking... keep walking... keep walking... we are almost done...

demisexual
adjective
Feeling sexual attraction towards another person only after establishing an emotional bond with that person
noun
Person who feels sexual attraction towards another person only after establishing an emotional bond with that person
(Merriam-Webster)

A little further now... trust me...

sapiosexual
Adjective
(of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
"I met a PhD student from Germany who told me that he was sapiosexual"
noun
a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
"I'm a sapiosexual and I like to talk"
(Oxford Languages)

Sapiosexuality means that a person is sexually attracted to highly intelligent people, so much so that they consider it to be the most important trait in a partner. It is a relatively new word that has become more popular in recent years. Both LGBTQ+ people and heterosexual people may identify as sapiosexual.
(WebMD)

Ok, knowing how much I don't like labels I offer this up to you.

I find intelligence (and humor) super sexy and a highly desirable trait, and find it increases attraction. And it doesn't necessarily have to be book smarts, either.

Bonds, super-strong bonds (usually emotional), need to be formed with people before I'm sexually attracted to them. This can happen almost immediately (the "click") or it can take time. It depends on the person.

Men and women are both attractive to me, as partners, however, personality wins out over gender more often than not.

Are these labels or descriptors? Does it matter when someone pigeonholes you when you know they know better? If you are demi-, bi- or sapio-sexual (or anything else) and someone tells some random person that you're gay, should it really matter??

Is it mislabeling, even though you don't do labels?
Is it misspeaking, despite them knowing the real you?
Is it a freudian slip, their subconscious way of distancing themselves from you?

When you them their "misstep", they dance around it like Fred Astaire, using phrases like "it comes across as" and "it would seem" and "it looks like" and saying "it's just a word." Right.

Frankly, this to me is like telling someone a person is crazy when they are simply bipolar or abused.


I'm different.
I will give you my treasure chest of darkness first. If you can handle that, then I'll bring out my shining moons. If one cannot handle the darkness, then one should not deserve the light. I have no interest in "trapping" anyone in a silken web.
I have no silken web. - C. Joybell C.


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