Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Mr. Somewhat Socrates
"As for me, all I know is that I know nothing."
"To find yourself, think for yourself."
"I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think."
"By means of beauty all beautiful things become beautiful."

The four above quotes are all credited to Socrates. They are but a few of the "directives" I use as I travel on this journey of life & learning, in an effort to live up to another one of this great man's quotes: "The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be." I don't always get it right, but I try. I'm a movie buff. An appreciator of music & art in general. An online gamer. I go on reading blitzes every couple of years. I've seen and heard lots of things. I'll share with you if you share with me.
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Permission Slip
Posted:Aug 23, 2009 7:25 am
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2013 4:31 am
Below is a permission slip that may get me out of trouble with AdultFriendFinder if I decide to quote my readers, use their pics for polls, games or networking, or link to their blogs, or any other use of their names, pics, and blogs, soley for the sake of fun, meeting like-minded people, or relaying their opinions, statements, & revelations already documented on AdultFriendFinder.



I __________ allow DefDECouple to use a link to my main profile photo and a link to my profile with my name in it for the purpose of networking, communication, and creating fun and games on the website. To be used in blogs, email and groups. I realize that getting my name out there is a way to increase my odds of finding like minded people I want to talk to.

Signed ____________ Date ____ / ____/ ____


Feel free to copy this and put it up in your blog. And thank Busty when you see her.

I Can't Stand The Rain
Posted:Oct 24, 2013 4:37 am
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2013 2:24 am

"In every life, a little rain must fall."

Who said that? I can't focus enough to remember & I don't have time to look it up. Stuff happening with the family & requires my attention. This month is usually busy but this is some time-consuming, stress-inducing shit I'm enduring right now. I'm handling it but it drains me.

I should be in a pretty good place now. Our lifestyle, my personal health, and my general outlook predicate a near-blissful existence. Shit happens people. Believe it. All you can do is keep it below the neck & trudge through it.

I'll bounce back. I always do. Meantime, your blog post may go unread for another couple weeks. I'll catch up.

1 comment
Nothing To Say, So A Recent Quote
Posted:Aug 8, 2013 7:18 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2013 8:10 am
"Be careful with putting anyone up on a pedestal. By doing so, you make it easy for them to shit on you & you don't have any room to complain." - Supreme Speaker, Summer 2013
Lights, Camera, Action ! ! !
Posted:Jul 4, 2013 5:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2013 12:39 pm
We upgraded to smart phones a few months ago. It was time. We had decent phones, when they were new. But last year's issues sorta made us ignore what was going on with technology. I guess that makes us good people, given that we truly focus on what's important.

So anyway, we got new phones & we got around to snapping quite a few pics & videos. The last few additions to our profile come courtesy of our phones. Some time this month, we may indeed do an entire shoot & add many pics & videos. Replace most or all of the older stuff. We've both lost weight and are in much better shape than we were previous to this year.

Not that we care. We're sexy & desirable to each other. That's all that matters. And since this isn't our first year in the lifestyle, and we've had success in the past, I'd say we've been sexy to others. We're going to update & replace pics & videos because the new stuff will represent what we look like now.

Another benefit, if you will, of the new pics & videos is, we're getting an exponential amount of views in the last couple months. Not that we care. Well, maybe we do a little. Like the hype in the A.F.F. Video Approval Email states, "now you've got increased visibility, and increased odds of making a connection!"

Maybe that will be the catalyst, maybe it won't. All I know is, if we had a concession stand, we'd clean up.
1 comment
Don't Stop Believin'
Posted:Jun 20, 2013 3:48 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2013 5:04 pm

He's gone. It would more dramatic if it was a mafia hit. But sadly, actor James Gandolfini a.k.a. Tony Soprano suffered a heart attack & passed away at the age of 51.

A moment of silence to one fine actor that lead one helluva show . . .
1 comment
They're Out There . . .
Posted:May 25, 2013 2:55 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2015 5:53 am
Look hard enough.

You'll find them.

Of course, lots of people say they don't exist. You tell them you've seen one, they think you're crazy or making it up. We've seen them. We've dined with them. We've fucked them.

Not little green men or anything else you call an "alien" or extraterrestrial being. I'm talking about a single, unattached, bisexual female, also known as a unicorn (also a fictional creature, but bear with me please ) .

But anyone that's gone looking knows, trying to find a woman that will go out with a couple for the purpose of having sex, is like the SETI program or any other search for alien life. Allow me to give you a loose interpretation of the "Drake Equation" and how it pertains to both these quests.

Like there's an unending number of stars in the universe, there are also a seemingly unending number of members on this site.

But then scientists narrow down the number of stars that have planets surrounding them. Likewise, we narrow our search for just female members.

Next, they look for the frequency of stars with habitable planets. We try to figure out the frequency of female members that say they're looking for couples.

After that, scientists look at planets with life. We look at the women that are single, or at least don't have a guy they're required to bring along & include in the activities.

Next, scientist hope to find a planet with intelligent life. We hope to find a single woman, into couples, that is within about 2 hours travel of our location.

When scientists eventually find intelligent life on another planet, they hope to see signs of civilizations with technology. We see a profile of a chick that close by, we try to see some signs that she's interested in us by the fact that she's answering our emails or invites to chat.

Then, scientist have to calculate the time a technologically advanced civilization take to release signals into space. Based on emails & chats with a chick, we try to calculate whether she's actually looking to meet or if she's just getting her jollies with the "idea" of being with a couple.

Lastly, scientists will hit pay dirt when they have a living, breathing, extraterrestrial being in front of them. Hoping they can communicate & learn from them. We hope that when we meet this chick, that after making sure we're all on the same page & there's chemistry among us, that eventually, she's lying naked in front of us, so we can suck & fuck her brains out.

Been some time since we've had a "close encounter" around here. But we're still searching.
Permission Granted!
Posted:Mar 3, 2013 1:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2013 10:14 pm

Today, Mrs. D green-lighted me signing up for membership on another dating site. She's displaying true generosity and letting others have the opportunity to share me & what I have to offer. Whatever that means. Anyway, hopefully I can meet friends that aren't too Lonely and aren't necessarily Cheating. Wives or girlfriends with permission, like I have, are certainly welcome.

In case you're wondering why, the answer is simple. Mrs. D is a bit of a perv. When we're in a threesome with another chick, she's really into watching me with the other chick. Watching & hearing her react to what I do to her. And of course, recounting my side of it when we're on our way home from the date.

It's a shame that so many jerks have screwed things for guys like me that can genuinely "date" outside the marriage and not be considered cheating. Well, we'll see how this other site works. I don't think we'll fare much better but you never know. I still haven't figured out how vanilla the site is or how many of the features work. We'll figure it out as we go along. If we had our druthers, we'd find a chick that wants us both or at least let Mrs. D watch us together. But a discreet date here & there is more than adequate.

It's more than I get here.
1 comment
Pretty Please?
Posted:Feb 10, 2013 9:23 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2013 2:42 pm
I've been rolling this around for a few days. I think I have it figured out.

Some show was on the tube. You know kind of show where some dude is stalking some chick & one of them ends up dead. The bestie of the chick involved said she witnessed the guy begging for sex.

Who the fuck begs for sex when they're in a relationship?

I thought back to when we got together. The first time we had sex. There was a strong mutual attraction between us. And consequently, we had an opportunity & place to do it, so we did it. It was time. I had proved to be the sensitive, caring man she needed, and I had seen she was the sweet, sensual woman I needed. Other stuff too, but you know the drill. We were an item, we liked each other, and it was time to see if we were totally compatible.

It started with kissing. My hands on her. Her pulling down my shorts. BOINGGGGG ! ! ! We were in my bedroom standing next to my bed so it was a natural progression, so to speak. We both needed it. We both enjoyed. We both shared emotions during and after. But neither of us asked.

And we still don't. Outside of me double-checking the arrival of her period, there's no need to ask. The attraction is still there, even more so since we're in the lifestyle & have many kinky things running through our minds.

The point I'm making is, if you have to beg or even plainly ask your significant other for sex, there's something wrong. You need to work on some things. You may need to consider the possibility that you shouldn't be together anymore.

I know very little, but I do know that begging for sex shouldn't happen if you're supposed to be together in a relationship.
1 comment
Cast Your Vote ! ! !
Posted:Jan 30, 2013 5:50 pm
Last Updated:Oct 26, 2021 4:45 pm

Please visit [post 3085424] and cast your vote!
Make A Good Point, I'll Your Post
Posted:Jan 29, 2013 3:20 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2013 3:26 am

I'm surely not above pimping a post when someone else has a profound thought. All those ancient philosophers all hung around each other, waiting for pearls to drop or even to steal a thought for themselves.

Guys, if you're having trouble on this site, click the link below & read:

[post 3085386]
Vanilla . . . The New Ugly
Posted:Jan 27, 2013 5:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2013 2:09 pm

Just plain disgusting.

The Vanilla World is downright DEE-SKUS-TING.

I'm not complaining about the Puritanical perspectives that permeate through society even now in the 21st Century. Nor am I referring to the judgmental shit you get from them when they find out you're in the lifestyle.

I'm talking about some really shitty goings on out there in the so-called "accepted" world. There's a long story, so let me explain:

We're married, happy, & secure & we do threesomes with single, unattached, bisexual women. That's right! That elusive unicorn that everyone talks about. O they're out there. They're real. And guess what, you gotta be lucky above anything else to bag one. More than your looks, more than what you have, more than what you're offering, you gotta be lucky.

Fine. That's what we're after. This is the path we've chose. When we're with one, it's great. "Sky rockets in flight" and all that. It's what they write about and what everyone imagines. Mostly because, it's generally an opportunity for all three people to experience some fantasy they've conjured up or read about. Sometimes you're let down, sometimes you're thrilled beyond your wildest dreams. And as far as we're concerned, if everybody gets to fuck everybody, then we're good.

The aftermath is usually a very mixed experience for us. On the one hand, it's exhilarating. "We did it!" We're recapping the day/night. The acts. The positions. The orgasms. The bliss. No regrets on the resources expended. The thrilling experience makes it worth it all. That's when it all goes right, of course.

The flip-side is not really spoken aloud. As veterans, we're well aware that it won't last. And the reasons vary.

It was an experiment for her & she doesn't need to do it anymore. And she flakes & fades or we never see or hear from her again.

Her ex-bf or estranged spouse sees her floating on Cloud 9 & begs her to come back, and she goes. And she flakes & fades or we never see or hear from her again.

She sees us as a loving, secure & happy couple, longs to have that herself, and goes back to her ex-bf or estranged spouse, or just pulls the trigger on a guy that was already waiting in the wings. And she flakes & fades or we never see or hear from her again.

Finally, she's just checking off something on her list. And finally, she flakes & fades or we never see or hear from her again.

Whatever the reason, it all ends up in the same place. We go a few laps with a chick, see her once, twice, or three times, then it's over. We know it's coming. We hate for it to happen. But it will. We know it. We dreading the occurrence. But it's inevitable.

We just try to dwell on the positive for as long as we can. And one of those things is Mrs Deft recalling the times where I'm one-on-one with the chick. She's watching intently during those times. Now, we'll certainly do some stuff where there simultaneous stimulation of some sort going on, but bathroom breaks happen. Or, someone needs a breather. Or in the case with Mrs Deft, she just wants to watch. Since I'm charged with, and charged by, having to please two women, I'm not taking many breaks (on overnighters, I sleep about 2 hours tops ) . Not bragging about being a stud or anything, but this is some hot shit I don't want to miss & the clock is ticking on the 11:00 checkout of the hotel room.

Anyway, I get to really put in some work with the other chick, if this date is going right, that is. And Mrs Deft watches. And she's turned on. So much that, when we're talking about what I did one-on-one with the chick, she gets all worked up all over again. Usually, by the time we get home, since we have a hour or two drive to GET home, I'm required to put in one more performance when we get into our room.

So Mrs Deft is a perv. I accept that. She does too, now. In fact, she's become so fond of me having sex with other women, that a couple years ago, she began to suggest that I get myself a local gf, to have on those nights she's not in the mood or that week she's on her period. No point in both of us walking around the house being cranky. She's become more insistent as time goes on. "Get yourself a gf. Find a gf. We need to find you a gf."

I've never cheated on my wife. The threesome stuff, as you know, doesn't count. Until we started in the lifestyle, I really kept my wandering eyes in check. I'd look, but I'd very seldom allow myself to lust. I love my wife. I love her body. I love making love to her. Sex with her is like diving under that warm blanket on a cold night & drifting off to sleep in record time.

But to go out & find a gf? I'm not too keen on it. I've given in & tried, though, and you know what I've found? I don't want to get involved with any of "those" women. Because in the 2 or so years I've been allowed to find a gf, I've only approached 4 women. Never scored. All four prospects fell through for the exact same reason:

As soon as I was able to convince them that truly, my wife has given me permission to have a gf, they've back-pedaled.


They ALL knew I was married. I wear my ring. I never take it off. I don't hide it. I'll admit to being happily married as soon as they ask. I talk about my wife as I'm trying to get acquainted with them. A couple have even seen us together AND I've introduced them to her. But at that one point where they realize that I, in fact, have my wife's blessing to have a gf, they balk.

But wait! They're were ALL FOR IT up until then. Dates set up. exchanged. Texts sent. These trifling bitches were all set to fool around with me behind my wife's back, but the minute, I mean the very minute, I make them realize that my wife knows all about it & is totally cool with it, they bail.

I can't believe women in the Vanilla World are that fucked UP.

Vanilla is the new UGLY.
Mostly Naked Thursday
Posted:Jan 17, 2013 2:42 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2013 5:46 pm

Do you like sex partially clothed to any degree?

I don't.

Never did.

Even as a , trying to sneak & get some from some teenage girl, I need to remove as much as I could. Partly because I didn't want any stains, smells, or excessive wrinkles in my clothes ( I was one of those guys that over-dressed in high school, rarely wore jeans ) . So that made clothing extremely distracting. So my years were sometimes lean. A couple backseat boinks. A few more on the couch. But mostly, I required a bed, and someplace to lay my clothes or even hang them up.

I no longer have those hang-ups about clothes, but I still insist on almost completely disrobing. Everything goes except my socks. Good enough for the guys in porn so it's good enough for me, right? Well, it goes even further. I read somewhere that warmer feet help keep an erection longer & harder.

They did a study on men in Norway or one of those other countries where it's winter time 9 months out of the year. There was like a 25% difference with the socks on. I read this around the time I turned 40. Around the same time, I had watched a porn video in which all six guys had on tube socks from the same pack of socks. I'd laugh each time I watch it, imagining the director or some set flunkie opening up this pack of socks & handing a pair out to each of the guys. I know, I notice & laugh at the dumbest shit. But it was pretty funny then & it still is.

This morning, after rolling the Mrs around a bit, she hops up from post-coital bliss to get into the shower & she remarks on how I actually wore socks during sex. I always do but since she's so short & never really down near my feet, she hardly notices. Anyway, I said to myself, "My cock was as hard as it was because of these socks. And as long as I can get it up, I'm wearing them."

Whether she knows it or not, she's a big fan of Mostly Naked Thursday" or whichever day I'm wearing socks during sex.
Pimpin' A Pink Post
Posted:Jan 13, 2013 3:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2013 1:58 am

Some of the specific info, such as site filters, is dated. But the info contained in the post below is pretty much spot on. Good luck everyone.

[post 1666194]

To link to this blog (DeftDECouple) use [blog DeftDECouple] in your messages.

  DeftDECouple 56M/51F
56/51 C
October 2013
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date
maison41000  56M8/21

Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
I Can't Stand The Rain (3)TicklePlease
Oct 25, 2013 1:19 am
Lights, Camera, Action ! ! ! (5)tasticum
Jul 4, 2013 5:28 am
Don't Stop Believin' (4)outtherelinda
Jun 20, 2013 4:23 am
Pretty Please? (5)Meow_Mix
Jun 19, 2013 8:56 pm
One or Two? (12)Dolly_Do_Good
Jun 16, 2013 4:26 pm
They're Out There . . . (8)Dolly_Do_Good
Jun 6, 2013 5:28 pm
Permission Granted! (2)MsFellatioMaster
Mar 4, 2013 7:21 am
Permission Slip (17)CampoGirl
Feb 20, 2013 8:50 am
Vanilla . . . The New Ugly (12)TheLilFondler
Jan 30, 2013 5:07 am
This Is The Man All Shaven And Shorn (11)cyclingfool
Jan 26, 2013 9:29 am
Mostly Naked Thursday (8)TheLilFondler
Jan 22, 2013 6:32 pm