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Not Meant for Individual Sale...  

Do_u_wanna_kiss 54F
177 posts
11/7/2018 9:45 pm
Not Meant for Individual Sale...

For those of you who know me, for those of you who follow along, and for those of you who have always just stopped by to comment or say hello I want to say Thank you! Medically, it's been a really rough year for me and it's not over yet...

The day I returned home from my bucket list adventure took me straight to another medical procedure only this one has caused more of a mental strain... I've had a spot on my forehead for several years that I just never paid any attention to and it turned out to be basal cell carcinoma... I know it's pretty common, something like 4 million people a year are diagnosed, but I never thought about cancer until someone told me that I have brain cancer... even that took a while to swallow... telling me I have a brain tumor is one thing, telling me I have brain cancer AFTER having that tumor removed is something a little more than I expected... I don't know, maybe I was still in shock from the prior information... now I'm like the boy who cried wolf... every spot, every freckle, every bump, every everything I look at differently...

Because I never really thought anything about that mark on my head it sat there and grew, undetected until August 2nd when a dermatologist looked at it, said she believes it's BCC and did a biopsy, which hurt like a bitch btw... 2 days later I was referred to a dermatologic surgeon to have it removed... I scheduled the surgery the morning after my trip so I could just extend my vacation from work for another week while it healed... I had no idea that a tiny little mark less than the size of a dime would wind up being a scar from my hairline down to my eyebrow...

The scar from the brain surgery is hidden by my hair so unless I make you touch it you wouldn't even know it was there but this scar, I can't hide it and it's caused so much mental anguish... it's still healing but I know what it looked like before the stitches and it wasn't pretty... I'll spare you all... I know over time the color will fade and it will be less noticeable but I'm left with the "things you can't unsee" image in my head... I haven't posted any face pics where you can see it... until now... one is from my trip, September 25th and the other was taken Tuesday, November 6th after my magician of a hairdresser gave me some self-confidence back... I think I love her more than my at this moment... just kidding...(sorry if the pics are not upright)...it's late and I'm exhausted...

Anyway, a good friend told me to just show my boobs and no one will notice the scar... I'm sure he's right but I don't want to hide from what's left of my life because I don't like what I see in the mirror... I've always said, what you see is what you get and I look the same getting up in the morning as I do when I go to bed at night... if you don't like all of me then I don't care if you like any part of me... it's a package deal and not meant for individual sale... just remember what I hope you've all heard at least once in your life, "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all"...

harbor112 61M
1417 posts
11/8/2018 1:48 pm

Hi, I wasn't able to read your profile...considerer yourself a lucky one. I did know one person that did have something like you did. But he didn't make it.

Do_u_wanna_kiss replies on 11/8/2018 8:59 pm:
Sorry, I have to be mean here but WTF kind of person leaves a comment like that? Even if you were trying to be nice about me being "lucky" you failed, miserably...

sandiego1955 65M  
178 posts
11/27/2018 6:53 am

I am really glad that you made it thru your surgery, and are doing well. You are a very beautiful woman, and don't let the scar, bother you. I really don't notice it. I am pleased that the surgery was successful, and that you are able to accomplish t your bucket list #1, I don't really notice your scar, instead I notice your gorgeous smile! You have a beautiful smile, and that's what is important! Take Care og yourself, and I enjoy reading your blog! Jim

Do_u_wanna_kiss replies on 11/29/2018 5:08 pm:
Thanks Jim! That was very sweet

Back_again_twice 60M  
128 posts
12/2/2018 2:34 pm

The scar gives you character. I have had two basal cell carcinomas removed from my back not to mention numerous biopsies elsewhere.

Do_u_wanna_kiss replies on 12/2/2018 10:57 pm:

yawhyknot 64M  
39 posts
12/3/2018 2:13 pm

The smile greatly overshadowes the scar.. easy to focus on something beautiful. Sure wish I could convince you to be spontaneous 😎

Do_u_wanna_kiss replies on 12/3/2018 6:42 pm:
Thank you! That's very sweet... Spontaneity is something I cannot afford this time of year but I thought I explained that...

albanybob 71M  
437 posts
12/14/2018 4:52 am

Very well said. All or nothing.

JimInHartford 44M
28 posts
12/28/2018 8:00 pm

I think the smile and eyes definitely out shine the scar, but a scar does add character. We all have our own scars some physical others not. Love your optimism in your blogs!

Do_u_wanna_kiss replies on 12/29/2018 10:03 am:
Thank you! I really appreciate that

n4161 59M  
47 posts
4/27/2019 10:27 pm

Best of luck with everything post-surgery. Sounds like you are tough stuff!

Do_u_wanna_kiss replies on 6/5/2019 8:10 pm:
Thanks!! Somedays I'm not so tough though... and sorry, I didn't see your comment sooner

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