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I have no idea...
Posted:May 3, 2019 6:04 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2019 10:49 pm

I've been told I have no idea what goes on between men so I need other perspectives please... how would you describe a man's man?
Challenge Accepted!!
Posted:Mar 21, 2019 9:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2019 10:45 pm
Does anyone love a sexual challenge?... I know I do... if a man tells me, "I can never cum from a blowjob" I immediately think, "Challenge Accepted!!"... Thursday evening I changed that statement he's been making for quite some time... Now he can say, "I almost never cum from a BJ" but I doubt he'll be saying the former to me again...

I love sucking cock
Another bucket list check mark
Posted:Feb 24, 2019 7:30 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2019 8:19 pm
With the whole issue of my scar, I completely forgot to post about another bucket list item checked off... I got to meet my favorite author... it was the middle of October last year just 2 weeks after my skin cancer surgery and I had bought the ticket months before so I was determined to go... I thought I had bought for the 3rd row but I was actually just behind the reserved area for handicapped seating so I was basically in the front row, left side orchestra... the place was packed but he is pretty popular around the world... I got a picture with him and a signed copy of his new book, a first edition... anyway, 2 down and hundreds more to go... oh, and I'm feeling much better about the scar... you can barely see it but I keep bumping my head so it hurts like hell... there's no cushion there anymore so I'm kind of just bumping my skull... what's really weird is that parts of my head are numb from both surgeries... I don't know if the feeling will ever come back but at least I'm still here...

1 comment
Not Meant for Individual Sale...
Posted:Nov 7, 2018 9:45 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2019 8:10 pm
For those of you who know me, for those of you who follow along, and for those of you who have always just stopped by to comment or say hello I want to say Thank you! Medically, it's been a really rough year for me and it's not over yet...

The day I returned home from my bucket list adventure took me straight to another medical procedure only this one has caused more of a mental strain... I've had a spot on my forehead for several years that I just never paid any attention to and it turned out to be basal cell carcinoma... I know it's pretty common, something like 4 million people a year are diagnosed, but I never thought about cancer until someone told me that I have brain cancer... even that took a while to swallow... telling me I have a brain tumor is one thing, telling me I have brain cancer AFTER having that tumor removed is something a little more than I expected... I don't know, maybe I was still in shock from the prior information... now I'm like the boy who cried wolf... every spot, every freckle, every bump, every everything I look at differently...

Because I never really thought anything about that mark on my head it sat there and grew, undetected until August 2nd when a dermatologist looked at it, said she believes it's BCC and did a biopsy, which hurt like a bitch btw... 2 days later I was referred to a dermatologic surgeon to have it removed... I scheduled the surgery the morning after my trip so I could just extend my vacation from work for another week while it healed... I had no idea that a tiny little mark less than the size of a dime would wind up being a scar from my hairline down to my eyebrow...

The scar from the brain surgery is hidden by my hair so unless I make you touch it you wouldn't even know it was there but this scar, I can't hide it and it's caused so much mental anguish... it's still healing but I know what it looked like before the stitches and it wasn't pretty... I'll spare you all... I know over time the color will fade and it will be less noticeable but I'm left with the "things you can't unsee" image in my head... I haven't posted any face pics where you can see it... until now... one is from my trip, September 25th and the other was taken Tuesday, November 6th after my magician of a hairdresser gave me some self-confidence back... I think I love her more than my at this moment... just kidding...(sorry if the pics are not upright)...it's late and I'm exhausted...

Anyway, a good friend told me to just show my boobs and no one will notice the scar... I'm sure he's right but I don't want to hide from what's left of my life because I don't like what I see in the mirror... I've always said, what you see is what you get and I look the same getting up in the morning as I do when I go to bed at night... if you don't like all of me then I don't care if you like any part of me... it's a package deal and not meant for individual sale... just remember what I hope you've all heard at least once in your life, "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all"...

Bucket List #1 complete!!!
Posted:Oct 7, 2018 4:33 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2019 8:28 pm
I finally did it! Bucket list #1 complete... I went by myself and as much as I wanted company I'm kind of glad I didn't have any... I got to go at my pace on my schedule... I ate when I wanted, stopped when I wanted, and basically slept when I wanted...

I was gone for 12 days and in that time I flew more than 4000 air miles, drove over 2500 miles, crossed the Continental Divide, 3 different Time Zones, and was in a total of 9 states... I went to the Grand Canyon, stood on a corner in Winslow AZ, stood in 4 states at the exact same time,(CO, AZ, NM, UT), visited the oldest and still used church in the US and another church with a certified Miracle Staircase, both in Santa Fe, drove through a deserted cornfield in complete darkness, (think of the corn) to stand in CO OK and KA all at the same time, stopped at the Cadillac Ranch because, why not, and The Alamo, and my last stop was in Waco TX to see my favorite college freshman...

a HUGE thanks goes out to my great friend in TX for encouraging me to drive... I owe you

I had the time of my life and crossed several things off my bucket list... It was an AMAZING adventure and I can't wait for the next one... who wants to join me?

Best of the Best...
Posted:May 17, 2018 11:35 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2018 6:11 pm
So it turns out that Arnold was wrong all this time... It WAS a TOOMAH... lol... Luckily, mine was small and in a very good spot, as far as tumors go... The Neurosurgeon told me that it was the size of a grape and every time I said that I always followed up with, red or green? Some people understood my humor while others got offended that I could joke about something so serious... The ironic thing is that it was MY serious and if I wanted to joke about it, shouldn't I have been able to? That didn't make it any less serious, it just made it more bearable for me to deal with... I wanted to buy red and green grapes and have a game of "guess what size" but no one wanted to play unless they won a prize... The only prize I wanted was survival, which if you haven't guessed yet, I won...

for now...

I had my surgery on Thursday, January 11th and went home on Saturday... how friggin' amazing is medical technology that I got to go home less than 48 hours after someone with a knife was digging around inside my skull? I had 22 staples which were removed 2 weeks later but here I am just over 4 months post-op and the wound is fully healed, although the scar feels like I have potholes in my head... It's still a little sore in certain spots and the top of my head is still numb... the patch of hair he shaved is less than 3 inches long but it's finally falling instead of sticking straight up... I do have some minor issues like balance and occasional difficulty finding the right words but I guess I should be thankful that's all I'm dealing with... I'm hoping they're all just temporary...

The tumor was benign, Thank God, BUT it will be back at some point... unfortunately, the type of tumor I had developed because my brain cells mutated which means it's only a matter of time before they mutate again... it could take 5, 10, 20 years or more but sadly when it does come back it will be aggressive and more likely to be malignant... there's nothing I can do to stop it or change it...

It has taught me things I should have known all along like how precious life is and how quickly it can change... the best thing I've learned is that I want to live my life for me instead of for everyone else like I always have... I refuse to deal with any form of bullshit from anyone, especially, men... I started seeing someone just after my surgery but that ended quicker than it started and didn't get any further than as if we were fooling around in high school... I had a friend that I've just recently cut out of my life completely because I felt he was holding me back and I have just met someone new... I know there's no long-term future there but I'm going to enjoy his company for as long as I can, now...

I've also decided it's time to live my bucket list... no more putting it off until I have the time or money or for whatever other reasons I haven't done it in the past... I have some things in particular that are "do or die" things, no pun intended but I want to do more...

I'd love to know what's on your bucket list? If you could only pick one thing, what would it be? I'd love your help in making a list of the "Best of the Best!"
Those 4 little words...
Posted:Nov 1, 2017 5:17 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2020 7:33 am
I remember when I was 8 missing a school trip to the circus because I had been out sick with what I later knew to be migraines. When I was in my late teens, I remember wanting to kill my brother's girlfriend because her whiny voice was making my migraine more intense and she refused to keep her voice down. After that, I don't remember having migraines. I remember some pretty bad headaches but nothing like a migraine. I've heard other people throw the name around but only someone who has experienced the relentless pain of one can truly understand the magnitude of it. Everything hurts. Your head, your eyes, your ears, your neck, your throat, even your teeth ache... sometimes the pain is so intense that it feels like your head will explode, and sometimes you wish it would. The only relief you get is sleeping but the only way to accomplish that is in total darkness and complete and utter silence. That's the most difficult thing in the world to find. I think it might actually be easier to find Bigfoot. There's noise everywhere even when you think there's not. Crickets chirping, water dripping, leaves falling, even the fan on your computer whirling. It's enough to drive you insane.

I had some difficulty after my 2nd was born which left me with some slight numbness on the left side of my body and back then after several MRI's a Neurologist believed it to be something called demyelinating disease. In layman terms, that means my immune system attacked and damaged the protective covering of nerve fibers in the brain and spinal cord which eventually created lesions and is indicative of Multiple Sclerosis. I was put on medication to help control any adverse effects of the disease. I can't say without a doubt that it's helped or not. I think sometimes you get so used to something that you don't even realize it's there. I never really thought about it again until recently.

My ex-husband was offered a new job in Texas earlier this year which he couldn't pass up and my youngest , 17, decided to move with him. His girlfriend has 9-year-old twins and my have bonded with them like siblings should. I couldn't convince her to stay with me to finish her last year of high school so the stress and heartache had become almost unbearable. Needless to say, the migraine's returned. I chalked it up to the stress but it didn't seem to ease up even after I came to terms with her wanting to leave. I finally decided to see my doctor and he ordered a CT scan which showed nothing but I knew there was something going on. I found a local Neurologist and because I've had a little history of migraine's she felt an MRI was in order.

I went for the MRI on my youngest 's birthday and within 2 days I had gotten an email with the results. My next doctor's appointment was 2 weeks away and I'm not a medical professional but it wasn't too difficult to figure out some of what it said. It detected a 1 cubic cm mass in the right parietal lobe and although that may not sound big, in the scope of the size of your brain, it is. It's approximately the size of the fingernail on my index finger. From that, my doctor said it could be several things like a lesion, a stroke, a tumor, and I didn't hear any other word she said except Neuro -
oncologist. I tried to make myself believe it was just an MS lesion. I would have even accepted it was a stroke because my grandmother had a stroke when I was 3 and my mother had had several before she died. I didn't show any signs of having a stroke but with the stress I had been under, I could believe that's what it was.

I went to see the Neuro - oncologist on October 25th which coincidentally was my mother's birthday. He came in and asked me a bunch of typical doctor-patient questions and then proceeded to do a basic neurological exam which consists mostly of checking your reflexes, closing your eyes and trying to touch your nose, standing still to check your balance, and looking into your eyes with that blinding light. We then sat down next to the computer and he showed me rolling images of my MRI. I could see this mass roll in like clouds coming across the sky and that's when I started to get nervous. Since the last MRI I had was so long ago I was unable to get copies to compare to the new ones. For all we knew it could have been there all this time, something like 15 years. He then proceeded to tell me it could be something from head trauma, a stroke, an abnormality from birth, or a tumor. Since I knew it wasn't any kind of trauma it was then his turn to tell me that he doesn't believe it's a stroke and had it been something from birth it would have shown previously so he was left with nothing but to say he thinks it's a tumor. I would have given anything for Arnold Schwarzenegger to burst through the door at that very moment and say those 4 little words I've been teasing about for years.

Shock set in automatically as did the pain in my chest and the uncontrollable tears. He gave it a name and a grade, A.K.A. a stage, and said there were several ways we could treat it. I remember hearing radiation, chemotherapy, surgery, or just wait and watch it. He asked me if I had any questions and said that the decision for treatment would be mine. I immediately went into planning mode and said my are still quite young as am I, I'm in relatively good health, and the longer I wait the more chance I have for it to become a problem. So within 20 minutes of thinking it's just an MS lesion I now have a brain tumor and I've decided that the best course of action is surgery. I don't know much more than that right now but I have an appointment this Friday for another MRI immediately followed by an appointment with a Neurosurgeon. I don't even know if it's cancerous and won't until they remove it. Only then will I know how we proceed from there.

When I left the hospital and drove away from the valet stand I completely lost it. I pulled over and called my ex-husband. He didn't know what to say and all I wanted to know was how do I tell my ? I have three all in different states so how do I tell them all at the same time? How do I tell them and make sure they're ok? My is local so telling him would be my job alone but he's still very attached to his mother and I'm afraid how this will mentally and emotionally affect him. He just started college and he's doing well so I don't want to change that. My youngest lives with my ex-husband so when I tell her she'll have him and his girlfriend as support. But then there's my oldest. She's a junior in college and she's 5 hours away. She has no support other than friends and I'm not sure that's enough to handle something this big.

I took this upcoming weekend off and I've decided that the best way for me to tell all my together is to take my with me on a 5-hour drive to go see his big sister and then we can Skype with my youngest. I asked my ex-husband to be in the room with her when I tell them so that he can offer support for them and try to help make some kind of sense of this. He's very analytical and I know he'll be able to comfort them with reassurance if nothing else. I've never been this scared in my entire life and I only hope he can convince me as well. I don't love him anymore and haven't for quite some time but I would give anything for him to hug me, kiss me on top of my head, and tell me it will all be ok.
Some people just don't understand sarcasm....
Posted:Sep 15, 2017 9:04 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2018 6:07 pm
I'm having the biggest laugh right now because after a few weeks of emails back and forth with someone my age that lives pretty much 2500 miles away I was having my typical flirtatious Friday sarcasm in full force... I sent an email in the mix of 6-7 for the night that teased about him missing the flirtatiousness of the banter because he sat out in the sun a little too long and he blocked me... OMG some people just don't understand sarcasm... with or without flirtation I guess... oh well, he just doesn't know how to have some good ole fashion fun... poor thing...
Women have it so easy....Yeah Right !!!
Posted:Jul 30, 2017 9:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2018 11:07 am
This is an old blog worth repeating because you know, nothing ever changes...

You men think women have it so easy on here. We can have the pick of the litter because of the male-to-female ratio. Let me tell you, you're probably right but after we weed out all the undesirables, there's not much left to choose from. Let me explain undesirables....at least in my book.

There are the men who don't fit my age range, they live too far away, are not the race I am comfortable with, and those that I might not be comfortable with their sexual orientation. I need someone who can spell above a 5th-grade level and can have an intelligent conversation, has a sense of humor and is taller than I am, preferably much taller... and let's not forget the men who lie about their ages, appearance and marital status...

I also have a need to be attracted to them...is that too much to ask? They don't have to be movie star quality and have a body of a personal trainer but let's face it, if I'm gonna let you fuck me, I want to be attracted to you, at least a little bit...

I've also had to endure the men who are just as bad as the women they all complain about. The FLAKES.... They email you, they chat with you, they make you comfortable getting to know them... some will even call you or meet you for coffee but after a while of not actually getting together, or being stood up I feel like I've been led on and lied to...

Then there are the men who are too pushy... A few emails and you either move to IM or start texting... Then every time you sign on, BAM !, they IM you or they text you constantly throughout the day... They become incessant and annoying... Soon I stop responding altogether because I'm just disgusted with it all...

It's very frustrating... especially when you've been looking forward to it and you're sexually excited... it also pisses me off when I take the time to get "ready" to meet someone and they cancel last minute with some excuse that you would give your boss... I know other things do come up that cannot be avoided but women need time to prepare for meeting you... it's not always a quick shower and out the door...

So how do I meet a decent man who isn't a flake, who isn't overbearing, who reads my profile and fits what I'm looking for? I understand why it's hard for a man to get laid on here, but it shouldn't be this hard for a woman.....should it? I am for real !!! No fake...no bot... no alternate website to chat with me...100% real.... if we like each other and have that click when we meet, I'm gonna want to fuck you... so please be a man and do the right thing... I'm just as tired of the games and the BS as you are !!!
How can men be so gullible?
Posted:Jun 5, 2017 3:15 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2018 10:59 pm
I browse around the site quite often because I don't sleep much and I get a kick out of some of the profiles that I read but the best ones belong to the women...I cannot believe how many men are friends with, fans of, and desperately try to sleep with fictitious females...Yes, the fakes, and I'm not talking about the bots....I'm talking about what are supposed to be "real women"....some of them share the same group of male friends...all I can honestly say is WOW....I think I'm embarrassed for them...

I know I'm not Barbie and I'm not a model but I don't pretend to be one either...I am who I am and what I am, nothing more...I'm usually polite, I'm fun, I'm easy to talk to although I sometimes tend to talk too much, I'm fairly easy going, I'm passionate, and someone recently said "I'm smarter than the average bear" which is why I ask myself how can men be so gullible? Do you not realize a REAL picture from a "stolen from the internet" picture? I mean if you seriously can't tell that it's a fake pic then I feel sorry for you...I know not everyone has a gold membership so you can't see all the pics but what about the paying customers?

Aside from all the comments on these fake pics, what makes me laugh even more are the comments posted back from the profile owners....these women actually reply to comments on "their" pics...I find that hysterical...

I've even found some profiles that are pretty much copy and paste from each other, and that's not even counting the plagiarized ones I've seen stolen from books about "How to write an online dating profile"...Do the men not see it or just choose to ignore it? Are the women that desperate for attention?

I have 40 pics on my profile at the moment and every single one of them is REAL and of ME...(some are only visible to my friends)....now I will say that some are a bit old and I really need to update them but it's not as easy for women to take self-portraits of certain body parts as it is for men...I did ask an old friend to help in that department a while back but he went and found himself a GF so I guess I'm still in need of a new photographer.....

For any of you that can and have read my profile, I guarantee you that I wrote it all myself, word for word...if I ever get to the point that I'm so lonely for male interaction that I post stolen pics and pass them off as my own or can't put together a coherent sentence to present myself to the world, then it's time to close the door on this chapter of my life...
This is why I prefer men over boys......
Posted:Mar 25, 2017 2:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2021 9:33 pm


ME: White, HWP, VERY trustworthy, highly educated professional, totally sane, d/d/d free, VERY clean, who wants ONLY fun, extreme pleasure and excitement equally for BOTH of us. I KNOW I can be of HELP to you. I have a very wide range of interests and you'll be treated with utmost respect and dignity, which you well deserve, and complete discretion is a certainty. Nobody will know what you're doing. I will not inject myself into your life and this would be strictly NSA, for our EQUAL pleasure, fun and excitement. I've no doubt whatsoever that you'll totally enjoy, in every way, time with me. I do not want your pics so that alone should convince you I'm for real and not a moronic, jerky, semi-literate, pic collecting phony. As Thoreau said, do not live a "life of quiet desperation," meaning go after what YOU truly crave and not be inhibited or held back by convention. YOU: Ignored and neglected by your husband ,white, Asian or a light Latina, HWP, ANY age. You should be open minded and willing to explore, experiment and expand your willingness to experience pure and exquisite pleasure, excitement and fun. Why not? Do you want extra help? Are you struggling with debt, rent, mortgage, loans, credit cards? Let's talk about it. No harm in that and you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by simply talking to me as I'm quite certain I can help.You might be nervous being online with a stranger but there's a lot we could learn about each other first by just writing and then meeting in any public place you pick. I'm very much FOR REAL and not a knuckle dragging moron, much less fake or phony, as are the overwhelming majority on CL. Just give me a try! Tell me a bit about yourself. I'm FOR REAL.You be real too! No pros, spammers, junkies, autobots, fakes, phonies, nut jobs

3/24/2017 1:28 pm

so you want to send me a copy and paste email and ask that I not be a pro, spammer, junkie, auto-bot, fake, phony, or a nut job but you want me to talk to a narcissistic "man", yes I use that term lightly, who thinks he's God's gift to women while every other man on this site, or any other, is a moron, a jerk, semi-literate, pic collecting, knuckle dragging, phony? hmmm interesting concept.....

BTW....not every woman online is ignored and neglected by their husband and for someone who proclaims to be "highly" educated, you have the nerve to explain Thoreau as if there isn't another educated person in the world who would understand? I actually think that you might do better on CL because there are some desperate women on there.....Best of Luck to you...you're gonna need it....
3/25/2017 12:19 am

Nope dont need it just finished fucking two from here bye

3/25/2017 2:58 am
Posted:Jul 10, 2015 4:33 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2017 8:04 pm

who do you think masturbates more often?
both the same
4 Comments , 190 votes
I don't need to be a social butterfly to make friends...
Posted:Jan 15, 2015 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2015 7:01 am

what is with all the friend requests? do people think this is like Facebook and the more friends you have the more popular you appear? I've seen some profiles (men and women) who have hundreds of friends...why? do you talk to 25 people at a time? I know being friends with someone makes it easier to find them if they're online but geez if you have to go through 12 pages of friends to find that one you want to chat with that should tell you there's too many in your list...seems like everyone is looking for that "select" person to have fun with but seriously do you need to be friends with hundreds of people to find him/her? I highly doubt that these people sleep around heck I'd be surprised if any of them actually meet others in real life but I think you're leading some one on if you ask them to be a friend...of course that's just my opinion but I've been here for 6 years and I only have 8 friends and yes, I talk to them all at some point or another...and I talk to some more then others...I'm just picky about who I let into my circle...I don't need to be a social butterfly to make friends...that just comes easy for me...so if i want to be friends with you, I'll send the request...

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