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Wednesday Whining
Posted:Dec 18, 2019 8:41 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2019 2:00 pm

1. In April, my niece died unexpectedly.
2. In June, my therapist dumped me. She said there were other patients who needed her more. It's a sad day when you can't even someone out of your own pocket to listen to you. I took it personally.
2. In October, my ex-husband died unexpectedly.
3. In October, my brother-in-law had a stroke.
4. Yesterday, my other niece died unexpectedly (sister to #1). I spent the entire day with her Saturday, and she was perfectly healthy.
5. 2019 hasn't been all bad, but it certainly hasn't been all good.
6. Today I told a realtor happy birthday, and she tried to sell me a house. That just seems wrong to me. Next year, I'm going to tell her Happy 80th Birthday. (She's in her 60s.)

That's it for today.
Tenacious Tuesday
Posted:Dec 17, 2019 6:09 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2019 2:37 pm
1. I woke up with an amount of energy I didn't know I possessed. Must be all that exercise I've been doing...or that extra cup of coffee I had yesterday.
2. I put on a shirt that has been in the back of my closet for a couple of years because it was too tight. It fit perfectly, yet there was something weird going on with the sleeves that I just couldn't figure out. I went into the bathroom where there's more light. Darned if I didn't have the shirt on inside out. It's amazing how much better the sleeves looked on the right side.
3. Blue Christmas makes my little parakeet very happy. Unfortunately, Elvis gives me the creeps. The song came on, and my little fella was chirping so exuberantly I didn't have the heart to turn it off.
4. My was off work yesterday. She baked and made candy all day. The smells were amazing. She gives a little treat bag of homemade goodies to her employees each year with a Christmas ornament. They love it.
5. I'm going to my 's house for Christmas this year. We're going to meet his girlfriend's family. They haven't wanted us to meet her parents for the whole 10 years they have been together because they're afraid her parents will offend my and me. More likely, they're afraid her hateful old dad will say something offensive and we'll be snarky back and piss him off. Some people just don't appreciate our snarkiness. Ah well, it will be an interesting Christmas. Her parents are half a decade older than my parents. They had her pretty late in life. I'll be good because I really like her.
Sunday Sentiments
Posted:Dec 15, 2019 3:40 pm
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2019 5:43 am
1. I helped make 50 dozen tamales yesterday. brother-in-law informed me that we were not having a tamale party, that it was a tamalela. He said he heard that on a commercial. I think somebody just made that shit up.
2. I slept hours last night. Tamale-making is very hard work, and I was exhausted.
3. After eating (insert large ) of tamales, I got up this morning and went the gym.
4. I finished reading "All the Wonderful and Ugly Things." It's easily the best I've ever read. I bought another by the author that I'll start the next time I go the gym.
5. I'm writing a . So far, I have 8 pages, but I can't seem get farther than that. I keep going back and revising instead of adding more. I need finish the and then revise. I'll get right on that.
6. We have decided bury ex-husband's ashes with his mom. It's what his church believes you should do with ashes. I can't seem scatter them. It doesn't feel right . It's not wrong if that's what others want do, but for at this point in life I can't seem do it.
7. It has recently occurred that the majority of the men in past have re-married. None of them wanted marry . I never even discussed marriage with any of them. I guess they didn't think I was the kind of woman they wanted marry. That kind of makes feel bad. I didn't say I wanted get married...but it wouldn't hurt have somebody want marry . This hurts ego.
8. I'm ready for Christmas be over with. I'm more of a Year's sort of . I love the year. It always feels like a fresh start. I like fresh starts.
9. Next year, we're going tamales and watch Hallmark movies instead of making them.
10. I would love have a cannoli from Mike's Pastry in Boston right now. Good thing I don't or I'd have to go to the gym again. That can't happen.
Today Is My Friday!
Posted:Dec 12, 2019 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2019 2:21 pm
1. I'm making chicken and brown rice with carrots and peas in my Instant Pot for dinner tonight.
2. Saturday I'm attending a tamale-making party.
3. All my best thoughts are about food.
4. I like to read comments on newspaper articles. Sometimes I like to add to the idiotic comments. Once, I was attacked from all sides in my old hometown newspaper because I laughed about something no one else thought was funny. I still think it's funny.
5. Someone I know has cameras all over the inside of her apartment. Isn't this a little strange? I asked her why, and her answer seemed made up. I guess it's none of my business...but I want to know why someone would do that. She's a stay at home mom, and her husband works in health care. I have cameras all over the outside of my house.
6. I've been using an app for walking where you $40 to get into a game. You have to walk a specified of steps each day, and whoever stays in the game until the end of six weeks gets to split the . I'm in three games right now. My legs are looking pretty good.
7. Half of my clothes are two sizes too big on me now. No complaints here.
8. Someone I know just bought a house that was built in the 20s, and he's having a haunting issue. He's going to get a priest to perform an exorcism. Apparently, the last two owners saw and heard the same things he does. That would really piss me off. I bought a house once, and we sold it because it was haunted. I understand his dilemma.
9. My mom doesn't believe in ghosts. She does believe, however, that the soul leaves the body when someone dies. I asked her how she can believe the soul can leave the body and not haunt someone. I believe in ghosts.
10. And aliens...I definitely believe in aliens. They probably walk among us and we don't even know it. I'll bet we interact with them frequently.
Worst Christmas Present Ever
Posted:Dec 10, 2019 11:27 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2019 2:04 pm
When I was , my grandmother gave a hair net for Christmas. I heard her bragging the adults in the family that it only cost her cents. She sounded so proud.

When would a ever need a hair net?

What's the worst Christmas gift you've ever received?

A funny story...to , anyway...a friend told he received really nice shirts for Christmas. He said he took a nap, and while he was asleep his wife and mother-in-law took his shirts and exchanged them for a vacuum cleaner. He was pissed!
Monday Musings
Posted:Dec 9, 2019 11:38 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2019 7:28 am
1. I know it's still a couple of weeks early, but I'm starting my end-of-the year reflections already. It was an interesting year. I had huge victorious moments, and low moments of loss. They all deserve reflection. Do you reflect at the end of the year before moving into New Year's resolutions?
2. Last year, I had one New Year's resolution. No alcohol in 20. I've been completely successful. I love wine, and I'm sure I was indulging a bit too much. It wasn't at all hard to walk away from it. I've found that I feel much better without it.
3. I unexpectedly ran into an old classmate Saturday. It was great to see her again and catch up.
4. Over the weekend, I saw a lady with the longest, thickest eyelashes I've ever seen. It was a little bizarre.
5. I've been avoiding my mom because she mailed me something, and she's constantly asking me if I've gone to the mailbox to get it. I don't like going to the mailbox. Then I have a pile of junk mail to sift through and get rid of. I usually go about once a month. If I call Mom she will ask me again. Then, she'll guilt me because I obviously don't even care enough to go and get what she sent me. It'll deteriorate from there. I should just go to the mailbox and get it over with. Whatever.
6. Why do people make relationships difficult having too many expectations...and then nagging. I've been single for 18 years because I hate it when people expect things from me. Relationships should be relaxed and easy.
7. I have a really good job, and I love the company and every one of my co-workers. I wouldn't want to work anywhere else. But...I don't like the work. I don't hate getting up in the morning, but I also don't leap out of bed. It leaves me feeling blah. Every task feels like a chore. I'm going to hang in there until July. then, I'll be ready for promotion, or I'll start looking for a different position in the company.
8. I haven't started Christmas shopping yet.
9. Are you seeing a pattern of procrastination here?
10. I'm currently writing a book. So far, I have the first draft 2 pages done. Soon I'll be ready for the second iteration. It's going to be 25% fiction and 75% true.
A Great Weekend
Posted:Nov 24, 2019 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2019 11:18 am
1. We cooked good stuff this weekend (see photo) - beef bourguignon with spaetzle.
2. We went to a strange ballet last night.
3. I went to the gym Saturday and Sunday mornings. I like watching people work while I'm on the treadmill.
4. I started new - All Things Ugly and Wonderful by Bryn Greenwood. It's fascinating. It details the life of a young whose mother was a drug addict. I can identify. The is hard put down.
5. I'm looking forward Thanksgiving. We all cook dinner together. does the turkey and homemade bread, I make the gravy, cranberry sauce, sides and dessert, makes the potatoes, and his girlfriend makes deviled eggs and other treats. We enjoy being in the kitchen together, wearing our Thanksgiving T-shirts. enjoys carving the turkey. This year, is bringing of his friends we haven't seen in a long time.
6. I'm sad tomorrow is Monday already, but I work days this week. It will be a slow week with a lot of people off.
7. I looked into anthropology classes today. Then, brain cleared and I decided that was crazy. I've spent way too much time going to . I'll just continue watch documentaries. I find the study of different cultures be interesting.
8. I always said there's no way you're going get into a museum at night. I've seen all the movies where everything in the museum comes to life at night and wreaks havoc. Then, and I went Chicago last year. We went an event at the Field Museum, and they had an amazing mummy exhibit. Not did I go the museum at night, but I also visited the mummy exhibit in a darkened room. Nothing came alive and chased me, so it was all good. But never again.
9. Oddly enough, my mom has suddenly started telling the truth about things that happened when I was a that she has always lied about. What is that about?
10. That's all I've got. I can't think of a #10.
Finally Friday
Posted:Nov 22, 2019 7:59 am
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2019 10:30 am
1. This morning, I was lying in my comfy bed with a smile on my face, thinking it was Saturday and I was going to have a great day. Then, I heard a Friday sound outside. I don't remember what that sound what, or why I associated it with Friday, but here we are...it's Friday.

2. I got my hair done yesterday. The guy who washed my hair has gigantic fingers. It felt like there was a finger on every spot of my head at the same time. He was a little rough. It was amazing.

3. The Voice and Project Runway bring out the dark sides of my personality. They never pick the best singers on The Voice, and it sucks when they send home the most talented ones and keep the mediocre ones. I'm not attached to anyone this season. Project Runway is a whole different thing. I get way too invested. They always have someone who is bat shit crazy and someone who whines too much. I don't like all reality tv, but some of it appeals to me. If there's too much drama it's off-putting.

4. I exhibit no humility (I should try to develop some) when it comes to cooking. My cooking skills are fabulous. So are my daughters. Recently, we've been creating new recipes, and so far they are excellent. We have both had three years of cooking classes. I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving. She makes the best turkey ever. It will be sad because this year we lost my ex-husband and my . It won't be the same. But the food will be amazing.

5. I have a very busy and very fun weekend planned. The next three weekends will be hectic, but special.

Happy Friday!
It's Friday Eve!
Posted:Nov 21, 2019 9:11 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2019 7:45 pm

1. My Apple watch sends me rude messages. It says things like, "You haven't been as active this week as you were last week. Step it up, there's still time." Sure...I'll get right on that.
2. I bought my mom and myself an FB Portal for her birthday. Now we have video calls several times a week, and it's just like being in the same room. She's 80 years old and doesn't get out much, and she really enjoys it.
3. As people age and they start to forget things, it's mostly the short-term memory that goes. We can't remember where we left our coffee or our car keys. Long-term memory stays intact longer. That should be switched because my mom tells me the same stories over and over and over about things that happened when I was a . She repeats the same stories frequently. Oddly enough, with her it's not an age thing. She's still very sharp, and she has done this since at least her 20s. Does she not have any new experiences? Does she view new experiences as less important than old ones? I don't get it. It's hard for me not to zone out when she does this. She gets a lot of the details wrong. Yesterday, she told me someone punched my uncle in the mouth in high school and broke his tooth. It was actually that my uncle whacked the other guy in the mouth with a board in wood shop and broke his tooth. It's no big deal...but again I seriously dislike small talk...and story-telling with the wrong details.
4. I'm not my parents favorite . For 14 years, there was just my sister and me, and she was the favorite. Then, another sister came along. She became Favorite #1 and my other sister was bumped down to Favorite #2. I'm pretty sure if I were an only I still wouldn't be the favorite.
5. My very first boyfriend from a thousand years ago and my mom are still friends. I'm sure it's more of a love-hate relationship. In every conversation with me, she spends 15 minutes telling me about his life and the lives of all his family members. I haven't had any feelings for him since about 1972, but it seems like she's trying to make me feel regretful about breaking up with him. Weird.

Well, wasn't this a bitchy blog post. My Apple watch will probably send me a message saying I need to improve my attitude.
Weird Thought Wednesday
Posted:Nov 20, 2019 8:33 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2019 7:57 am
1. I just discovered Costco. I'm in love.
2. What if we are artificial intelligence in a testing environment?
3. I'm a minimalist. Not one of those extreme ones who wears the same thing every day and eats the same food every day. I just get rid of everything that has a negative memory or emotion attached it. That leaves surrounded only by happy memories and emotions. My mom is a hoarder. When she passes away, we should light up her houses and storage buildings. She has one house that is only used to store her stuff. She thinks we want all that stuff. Are you a hoarder? A minimalist?
4. Recently, one of the cleaning ladies broke a blade off the ceiling fan in my office. I thought it was no big deal...until I turned it on. That was scary. Yesterday, I bought a new crystal chandelier-ish ceiling fan. It will look great with my purple fuzzy rug and throw and the bella gray chairs. Plus, it's chrome like my des My taste could be called "funky modern."
5. My next book read is "All the Ugly and Wonderful Things." It had mixed reviews. It's about a relationship between a 13-year-old girl and a man in his late 20s in a meth-infused world. People gave some very negative reviews about the characters' age difference. They called him the "P" word. Many others gave the book five stars. My mom started dating my dad when she was and he was 19. They were married 56 years. Today's standards are different than those of a century ago...I thin..maybe not. I'm going read the book with an open mind.
6. In the last few years, my career path has taken higher up the corporate ladder than I've ever been before. The air is very different up here. Apparently, those who rise the top are a unique breed of workaholic perfectionists. I don't know what I thought it would be like, but it's definitely different.
7. I have a copycat recipe for Frito Bean Dip that is amazing! Goes great with those nacho flavored Doritos that I daydream about.
8. If people knew how smart birds really are, they would be afraid to go outside.
9. My mom is gearing up to have one of her crazy episodes.
. Nothing prepares you for the year-long deep level of burnout you suffer immediately upon doctoral graduation. You hear about it, but you can't prepare for it.

P.S. Several words get removed from my blog posts. Weird.
Tuesday Ruminations
Posted:Nov 19, 2019 9:11 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2019 7:57 am

1. Sometimes when a book gets really bad reviews I'll buy it to see what's the big deal. These usually turn out to be the books I like the most.
2. I made dirty rice for dinner this evening. My told me one time she made dirty rice. When I tried it, it wasn't dirty, and there was no rice in it...unless you think cauliflower is rice. I believe she made up a new dish and said, "You shall be called dirty rice!" I like to tease her about it.
3. I hate small talk. If two people have nothing real to say, then silence can be better than having to make up meaningless chatter.
4. Why would a man marry a woman that he knows is completely boil your bunny crazy, or vice versa?
5. The music of The Beatles touches me in a way nothing else ever has. It's like going home to find nothing has changed at all.
10 Monday Random Thoughts
Posted:Nov 18, 2019 1:29 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2019 7:42 pm
1. Has anyone ever owned a Corvair?
2. Do the lyrics, "She'll be comin' around the mountain when she comes?" have a secret - or not so secret - sexual meaning?
3. What can you make from frozen avocados?
4. What is something I absolutely must do when I visit Vegas?
5. I daydream about nacho-flavored Doritos.
6. When people say they want to be cremated, they should accompany that wish with a plan for what to do with their ashes.
7. Every time I see in the news that someone is missing, I wonder if they ran away from an abusive situation and think how sad it is that everyone is trying to find them. People should be able to just disappear if they want to.
8. If you had a PhD, what would you use it for?
9. What are your thoughts on parallel universes?
10. I'm reading "Before We Were Yours." Best book ever!
Bye Felicia!
Posted:Nov 5, 2019 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2019 12:57 pm
As mentioned in my last post, my aesthetician called me "really big." I don't see myself as really big. currently a size . I guess that's really big some people.

She has taken a couple of pokes at me lately. The first one was easy overlook, but this one was not I go her for facials. She started being rude when I stopped going for massages. This is strange to . Anyone in the "beauty business" knows it's quite insulting tell someone who is coming them for beauty services that they're fat. It's insulting anyone.

I canceled my next appointment with her and made an appointment elsewhere. There are numerous places just as close where I can get a facial or a massage. I usually have a thick skin, but I feel resentful toward her so we must part.

Bye Felicia!

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